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Thread: Husband and Breastfeeding

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    2

    Default Husband and Breastfeeding

    My husband and I think we are ready to start trying to have our first child. However, we have one major issue. I want to breastfeed and he's not comfortable with it. I admire him for being honest about it. It's two fold. He wants to be in on the bonding, but also I think he just is having problems with the whole idea of it.

    Please, please don't tell me how awful he is....We've had tons of fights about this...and at least he's being honest I am just wondering if others have had this issue and how they dealt with it. There are way to many benefits for me to change my position, but I'm not sure how best to bring him around to my position.

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    109

    Default Re: Husband and Breastfeeding

    Quote Originally Posted by andi_osu View Post
    My husband and I think we are ready to start trying to have our first child. However, we have one major issue. I want to breastfeed and he's not comfortable with it. I admire him for being honest about it. It's two fold. He wants to be in on the bonding, but also I think he just is having problems with the whole idea of it.

    Please, please don't tell me how awful he is....We've had tons of fights about this...and at least he's being honest I am just wondering if others have had this issue and how they dealt with it. There are way to many benefits for me to change my position, but I'm not sure how best to bring him around to my position.

    Thanks!
    He can still bond with the baby even though he cannot feed him/her. My husband would take his shirt off and have skin-to-skin time with our newborn...he loved that bonding time.

    I would just reiterate the health benefits...he wants your child to have the best possible start, right?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    8,272

    Default Re: Husband and Breastfeeding

    It would help if you could share with us more details about why your husband isn't comfortable?

    If we know his particular concerns then we can probably point you to specific resources that could help and/or answer those concerns directly.
    Lynn
    DS1: bf 7/2006 -> 4/2009; multiple food allergies
    DS2: bf 9/2009 -> ???
    ; multiple food allergies
    Breastmilk Donor - http://hmbana.org/index/donatemilk
    Click HERE to learn about baby led solids (BLS) / baby led weaning (BLW)

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    N. TX
    Posts
    1,231

    Default Re: Husband and Breastfeeding

    Dr. Sears' "The Baby Book" has a ton of tips on how to let the daddy in on bonding. Is it an issue of he wants to bond, or he considers those attachments his treats? I have a feeling once he falls in love with your baby, he will want the very best for him or her, and that means mama's milk. Formula hurts babies tummies and no parent can stand to see their babies in pain if they know there is something they can do to fix it!

    I respect you showing concern though, because equally important to baby is having a healthy home life between mom & dad!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    97

    Post Re: Husband and Breastfeeding

    I didn't have this problem but can definatly understand his point of veiw. I myself with our first baby did not want to breastfeed and I didn't. My husband didn't care one way or the other. When we had our second son I did want to breastfeed and the hubby again didn't care one way or the other. Once our second boy was born he pushed for me to nurse. and again with our third. It was nice to have his support. Hopefully when you do become pregnant and he feels the baby move for the first time he will change his mind. Keep at it by try not to pressure him, he is new to the idea and maybe just needs time to think about it. Good luck with every thing.
    I don't think bad about him, thats kinda normal.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    It's round on the ends and high in the middle
    Posts
    1,557

    Default Re: Husband and Breastfeeding

    My hubbie was a bit unsure of BF'ing at first. He had not been around many women who breastfed (or babies for that matter.) But I did a lot of reading and research about the benefits and shared that with him, and by the time I gave birth, he felt differently. Now, he's such a HUGE proponet of BF'ing that he educates other dads (when we're out and about) about the benefits of BF'ing.
    I would say to stand your ground with your hubbie. He'll be able to bond with the baby in other ways, besides feeding. And that's not to say he'll never be able to feed the babe, esp. if you pump.
    Good luck - HTH!

    Jessica
    Fancy Momma to the Divine Miss M, 2/15/07 BF'ed for 17 months!
    Currently TTC Baby #2


    Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies - Damn it, you've got to be kind. - Kurt Vonnegut

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    58

    Default Re: Husband and Breastfeeding

    I've also had simular issues w/ my hubby. With our last son (now 4) he seemed jealous,and didn't really encourage me. This time,however,he is more on board with it,as I have read to him all the benefits of it. I am currently trying to re-start breastfeeding w/ a 6 week old, and he seems to be really encouraging. best of luck with your hubby... I wonder if he's afraid it will take away from your sex life & etc?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    4,160

    Default Re: Husband and Breastfeeding

    If one thing I learned about having a baby, all of those things you said you 'would or would not do' go right out the window once the little one arrives!

    Hopefully your husband will lighten up and accept breastfeeding as part of your child's path to good health and intelligence. Maybe you can compromise and let your husband feed the baby EBM bottles once the baby is old enough. (I know I know people in here won't like me saying that...)

    I didn't have to go through the same thing (I'm not even married, hah) but if I did have a husband and he was against it I would do it anyways. I carried the baby for 9 months and have every right to breastfeed it because its the best nourishment and I want the best for my baby.

    I hope you work this out and have a beautiful breastfeeding relationship with your new arrival!
    Lisa

    Mommy to
    Logan 5-23-07
    Colby 12-14-09

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    282

    Default Re: Husband and Breastfeeding

    Would showing him research and scientific facts help? There are many many ways for dads to bond besides feeding. He can hold, bathe, change, dress, etc the baby.

    Good luck!!
    Celeste
    Mommy to:
    Kalynn 8/12/02
    Ronin and Ryker 10/9/2006

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    106

    Default Re: Husband and Breastfeeding

    My DH didn't seem to care either way. My first two DD's were formula fed after I unsuccessfully tried to bf each of them. He knew how badly I wanted to nurse them but I just couldn't seem to get the hang of it. This time around, my LO has been nursing for 3+ months and I know he is very proud of my success. I know for my husband, he has his moments where he wishes he could be more actively involved in feedings (and there are definitely times where he wishes I didn't have to bf in public!!) but I think that because he knows the benefits and how important it is to me, he has worked through any animosities he had. My best advice is to keep stressing the benefits of bf'ing and that there are so many other ways to bond (bath time, diaper changes, and just holding your LO while you get some down time are HUGE helps and will help to strengthen your relationship while giving him time to bond!!). HTH!!

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