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Thread: so scared - sorry, i just need to vent

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    259

    Unhappy so scared - sorry, i just need to vent

    i honestly though dear jacob would not have any problem taking a bottle. He was a pro during the times we practiced. I am going back to work on Monday and he refuses to take a bottle.

    I so worried he's going to lose weight, so scared he's not going to get enough milk nutrients.

    I feel so guilty for not introducing the bottle consistently. I was then worried about decreasing my supply so i opt to nurse rather than pump and bottlefeed.

    what if he really doesn't learn to use the bottle? what if my supply decreases? how can i tend to his needs?

    i think this is the lowest point of my b/fding life

    Gabe and Jacob's Nanay

    Gabe born on September 07, 2004

    Jacob born on May 29, 2007

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    33

    Default Re: so scared - sorry, i just need to vent

    It's hard going back to work and having to worry about whether or not he will take a bottle. To make yourself feel better, try giving him 1 bottle tomorrow and 1 on Sunday before you go back to work Monday. It probably will be better if you aren't the one giving him the bottle, since he knows better! Have someone else try giving him a bottle when you are not in the room. You may have to leave the house if he knows you are there. It will get better! I had my daughter in day care for a short time, and I struggled with the bottle situation as well. Don't worry, he will take the bottle because he will be hungry, and it will get easier. If you are worried about weight gain, ask your Dr's. office if you can bring him in on a weekly basis to get weighed. Most offices will do this with no charge to you. Good luck and hang in there Mom! It will be OK.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    259

    Default Re: so scared - sorry, i just need to vent

    thank you so much. i feel encouraged by your words. weare going to try to givr him a bottle during one of the feedings today. i'm going out so that he could not "smell" me.

    Gabe and Jacob's Nanay

    Gabe born on September 07, 2004

    Jacob born on May 29, 2007

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    18,090

    Default Re: so scared - sorry, i just need to vent

    babies will either take them or they will not!
    Not much you can do to force them to eat.
    ITs going to be a big adjustmest for everybody.
    Just take it one day at a time and be sure to feed him lots when you are together!
    get a hold of your local leader if you need somebody to talk to.

    check out this link: how to make your return to work easier
    http://www.llli.org/NB/NBworking.html

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    112

    Default Re: so scared - sorry, i just need to vent

    Hang in there! I thought we'd NEVER get the bottle (was also desperate) but we did ... eventually! Also, we weren't very good about introducing it consistently - we'd try it one week and then not do it again for the next week, etc.

    DH and my LO have worked really hard to get the bottle. We introduced it at 4 weeks and she consistently rejected it and/or was "unable" to drink from it properly until this past week (today she's 10 weeks old). We tried many bottles. The one that finally worked were the plastic ones from "Born Free" with the level 1 (slow flow) nipples. (You can get them online or at Babies-R-Us.) Also, it took a lot of trial and error but DH did eventually find a good position (for my LO it was on her side on the bobby, like nursing, but facing outward, away from DHs body). Also, I had to leave. Four-and-half hours was our magic point. I had read once to try for 10 minutes and if the baby didn't stop crying then to offer the breast. If we had kept up with this advice we would have NEVER gotten the bottle. Also, it helped when we stopped changing up the bottle/nipple too fast. It took her about four attempts (on four separate days) with the same Born Free bottle before she figure out a latch on it. Also, we introduced it everyday at about the same time for a few days before she got it.

    Our day care provider will not accept babies unless they can already take a bottle. (They understand that LOs might not accept it readily from a sub CP but at least need to know that the baby *can* do it.) If you can at least find a bottle/nipple set up that your LO will gum or even suck a little from, maybe your care provider (who's probably an expert in giving bottles) can work on it???

    I hate to say this but if they are hungry, they will eat. My midwife's third baby refused to take a bottle. Four three 8 hour days, not consecutive of course, he would wait it out until Mommy arrived. Man, I would hate to do that to my LO (I'd also hate to be that boy's care provider!) *but* in the end, he did do it. If you have to work (i.e. for income and/or health insurance) in the long run your are offering a bottle for the health and safety of your LO.

    Just hang in there! It *will* happen.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    106

    Default Re: so scared - sorry, i just need to vent

    We also weren't very consistent with offering the bottle- until the past two weeks. It took a lot of work and changing to quite a few different bottles but my LO finally found a bottle that she could "deal with" when Mommy wasn't available. I found that offering the bottle in a different position that a nursing position helped. I actually would put her in her bouncy seat, turn on the ceiling fan for distraction, and have my older two girls try to keep her amused by singing or dancing (for distraction!). It worked after a few times. And I tried to not let her get too upset- if she wasn't receptive to taking the bottle, I'd wait until the next feeding (I would only put around 1oz in the bottle, to reduce waste!).
    It was hard work but I agree with pp- just keep trying to give your LO a bottle- eventually your baby will realize that yummy milk can come from a bottle just like it comes from Mom!!!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    1,421

    Default Re: so scared - sorry, i just need to vent

    He may not want the bottle from you he knows what you have behind the bottle!
    Danielle

    Mom to Gage 12/28/06

    Wife to Trinity 6/21/03 my best friend

    ed for year, finally done!!!!
    for more than a year now!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    259

    Default Re: so scared - sorry, i just need to vent

    i left the house and DH and MIL offered the bottle. After hours of crying he sucked on ther bottle! too bad i just put in 1 oz in that bottle (i put an oz or so in every "trial" bottle). I feel sorry for DS for all the crying but i'm also glad he eventually sucked on a bottle. we will try again tomorrow. DS finally took it after 5 hrs of not eating.
    Last edited by cecilia; August 25th, 2007 at 11:33 AM.

    Gabe and Jacob's Nanay

    Gabe born on September 07, 2004

    Jacob born on May 29, 2007

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    119

    Default Re: so scared - sorry, i just need to vent

    I know everything will work out just fine... Hopefully your attempts with the bottle this weekend with you out of the house will be successful! You might also check on the working and breastfeeding forum. I know when I went back to work I read several helpful threads there with suggestions on how to help the baby take a bottle - warming the nipple - trying different nipples and lots of other stuff I would have never thought of.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    259

    Default Re: so scared - sorry, i just need to vent

    thanks a lot everyone! i'm looking at things in a positive light already.

    Gabe and Jacob's Nanay

    Gabe born on September 07, 2004

    Jacob born on May 29, 2007

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