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Thread: unsupportive mother in law

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    Default unsupportive mother in law

    I will see my mother in law this weekend. Ever since I starting nursing my son she has made unpleasant comments (example: Aren't you going to supplement with formula until your milk comes in? Are you still nursing? You only need to nurse for a few mos). She has never nursed before and doesn't understand, but doesn't seem to care to learn about BF. Anyways, I have only gave her yes or no answers and usually ignore her comments, but it frustrates me. Any suggestions on how to deal with this kind of person. I know she will say something because he is 13 mos now and I plan to nurse him as long as he wants. Thanks for your help.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    New Orleans, LA
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    Default Re: unsupportive mother in law

    I have links to TONS of articles on why BF is important to the health of your child. PM me if you are interested and I will email you the links.

    Knowledge is power and if you have something on paper, not just your "opinion" maybe that'll get her off your back.

    My approach, which would likely lead to a strain on the relationship, would be to be frank and upfront and probably a little bold about your stance on bf or the fact that you are not asking for her input on it. It's something you've decided to do and whether or not she supports it, she still needs to respect it. But, I'm aggressive about stuff like that. Hard to advise you on how to handle when I don't know much about your personality type. LMK if you're interested in those links.
    Mother - Wife - Artist - Cook - Writer - EnvironMENTAList - Cloth Diaperer (but we are soooo done with diapers) - Organic Health Nut...I'm sure there's more.

    DD1 - 12/15/05 Breastfed for 16.5 months
    DD2 - 8/6/07 Breastfed for 3 whole years and 3 little, extra days.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
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    NW OH
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    Default Re: unsupportive mother in law


    Christy has it right on the money. Just be frank about it. Its your choice. She can take it or leave it, but its not her child.
    Also, here is a quick link from kellymom that talks about dealing with criticism about nursing.
    Good luck this weekend!!!!!


    I'm Heather, SAHM to Cooper , born 1/2007
    and Bennett, our precious NICU grad born 8/2009
    and wife to Bill since 10/2003!
    We're young, but we know we can do it!
    Life with the Stevens-blog

    I'm an Ergo Baby Carrier affiliate!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    Sunny Arizona
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    Default Re: unsupportive mother in law

    You shouldn't have to deal with it at all. DH's mom, DH's problem. That's the way it works in our family. DH should explain to his mom all the benifits and that it is a choice you both support since it is whats best for your LO. Definately use all the info pp are offering, I just think DH should be the one to handle the actual conversation.

    Amy married to my bestfriend since 10/30/04

    Proud SAHM to DS born 2/17/07 and DD born 9/11/08 Both weaned together 11/2011
    Currently milk, peach, peanut and tree nut free. DD has outgrown her wheat, cheese, egg, garlic, and citrus allergies

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    21

    Default Re: unsupportive mother in law

    Thank you guys so much for your help. I really appreciate it. This forum is so helpful. Have a great weekend!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    Knoxville Tennessee
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    Default Re: unsupportive mother in law

    Congrats on making it a whole year! Wow, I hope I can do it that long. I had the same problem when DD was born. My DH put it to me this way...."Mom has raised 3 boys and never breast fed, if she supports you and agrees with you that bf is best, she is admitting that she didn't do the best she could for HER kids." So I just glow about how much I love it and DD loves it when we are around her and that kind of sets the tone where she looks like the bad guy if she says anything negative about it. HTH
    Kristie
    Wife to Chris 11/09/02
    Mommy to Kaycee Elaine 6/15/07
    with baby girl Emily Taylor due 8/08/09

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    Default Re: unsupportive mother in law

    Quote Originally Posted by kayceesmom View Post
    My DH put it to me this way...."Mom has raised 3 boys and never breast fed, if she supports you and agrees with you that bf is best, she is admitting that she didn't do the best she could for HER kids."
    That's a good point to keep in mind. I think it helps explain why so many people get "up in arms" when someone else is bf'ing!
    for 1-1/2 years...and still going!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    161

    Default Re: unsupportive mother in law

    I agree with the others, be frank about it and then move on with the convo. If she continues to push, offer a few facts about how beneficial extended bfing is and if she STILL is on your case, offer up a few articles about it. She can read the proof for herself.

    I never understand people like this. Its almost like they are jealous that they arent bfing a baby child so they have to bash it.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    21

    Default Re: unsupportive mother in law

    Quote Originally Posted by kayceesmom View Post
    Congrats on making it a whole year! Wow, I hope I can do it that long. I had the same problem when DD was born. My DH put it to me this way...."Mom has raised 3 boys and never breast fed, if she supports you and agrees with you that bf is best, she is admitting that she didn't do the best she could for HER kids." So I just glow about how much I love it and DD loves it when we are around her and that kind of sets the tone where she looks like the bad guy if she says anything negative about it. HTH
    Thank you for that point. I will put that in my head when she makes comments. Maybe it makes her feel bad that she didn't BF. Oh the things we BFing mothers go through! It is worth it though!

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