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Thread: Bar exam & breastfeeding? worth discussing further with male boss?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    15

    Default Bar exam & breastfeeding? worth discussing further with male boss?

    I am taking the bar in February and my employer is really good about me studying during work. I am pumping twice a day and it only takes me about 15 minutes each time. I feed LO before work, right after work and then maybe once or twice before bed time. She sleeps through the night most of the time.

    Today my boss and I were talking about bar studying techniques, etc and he asked me if I was still breastfeeding. I didn't mind the question..he has a son and I am pretty open with everyone about the fact that I am breastfeeding. (I have an office door that I close with a little sign on it - smile). When I said yes, he expressed amazement at the "amount of time that must take up". I told him it only takes about 15 minutes and even when I am home, its my way of making sure I can hold her and spend time with her.

    Is this just one of those things where men don't get that #1 - bfeeding is not that time consuming (it would take me longer to mix formula...I did that with the other two by now), and #2 - I need to hold my baby for my mental health? Bfeeding gives me that chance. I planning on either weaning her around Christmas time (b/c the stress of the bar and the exam being two days, etc) or shortly thereafter. (She will be a year old the day after the bar exam.) So I am not planning on doing this forever...but I thought it was a weird comment and wasn't sure if I should pull him aside later and make sure there is no problem. When I was hired, they knew I was b/feeding and they were extremely supportive. He is on the other side of the building so its not like he would really notice how much I may or may not be doing it.

    I am not sure if he was just being curious because of the bar conversation or if someone has said I am taking too much time to do it. (I keep my door closed a lot more than just when pumping. My coworkers are sometimes loud and it helps me to study and work with the door closed.)

    I am being paranoid? I am thinking to just see if he mentions it again, but otherwise to ignore it for right now. I just thought it odd that he thought of it as so time consuming that I couldn't study...I have three kids..geesh.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    36

    Default Re: Bar exam & breastfeeding? worth discussing further with male boss?

    I'm lucky that my GM let's me pump when I am work... and that he understands.. He just had a new baby him self about 4 month before I had mine, and my other manager just had a baby 3 months after me. Both men and both understand. But as for fellow co-workers.. they don't understand.. and think I do it too much at work... even thought I'm lucky to walk away 2 times to pump and they always ask how long with it take.. and its true.. it takes at most 15 mins.

    I would just the comment pass over and hopefully he didn't mean anything buy.. sometimes men just don't think b4 they talk. At least the ones I've come across with, especially DH.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    8,018

    Default Re: Bar exam & breastfeeding? worth discussing further with male boss?

    I would probably be thinking about it a lot too if my boss said something like that to me (well I'm not pumping anymore but anyway...).
    But, it almost sounds like he was just trying to make conversation and maybe even show some respect for your dedication/time commitment. After all, it wasn't in the context of a conversation about you pumping at work, kwim?
    I would ask him about it directly if it's really bothering you and you feel comfortable.
    As long as you're getting your work done it shouldn't matter anyway. Good luck on the bar exam!

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    15

    Default Re: Bar exam & breastfeeding? worth discussing further with male boss?

    I am hoping it's just a nervous comment. I feel a lot of pressure already about taking the bar and having to wean her. I don't want to have to stop, but the bar is two days, all day and there is no way I will be able to say "hey I gotta go pump" in the middle of the bar without some resistance. Not to mention how uncomfortable that will be for me. I just keep reminding myself that its some time away from now and DD will be turning one the day after the bar anyway.

    I really think that people just don't get that its much easier (for me anyway) to pump and bfeed, than it is to buy formula, boil water, mix bottles, etc.

    Thanks for your replies!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    8,018

    Default Re: Bar exam & breastfeeding? worth discussing further with male boss?

    Good luck!! Is there any way you can ask the Board of Bar Examiners to grant you an accommodation for pumping? You can't be the first person to have this issue!! I would definitely ask.

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

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