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Thread: what to do?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    1,197

    Default what to do?

    I have an almost 13 month old son who as some of you may already know from my constant posts is very stubborn. Actually come to think of it we have not been able to make him do anything we want up to this date. We couldn't give him a bottle, a pacifier, we could only give him a sippy recently from which he only drinks water. Solids is another story. He has never opened his mouth for us when we tried to feed him. There were fights and very stressful moments while we were trying to feed him so now he probably hates his high chair and protests us by not eating anything. We tried giving him finger foods but he throws everything on to the floor and even if he eats anything the total of what he eats is the size of a pea since he spits out most of what he puts into his mouth. We took him to a feeding clinic and they gave him reflux medication which didn't do any good in terms of his willingness to eat more. The last time we visited they said that he is not eating because he is not hungry enough since he nurses all night. So they suggested I night wean him. Here is my problem: he is already a very bad nurser. he doesn't like to nurse during the day, I can only get him to nurse for a couple of minutes (sometimes seconds) before naps which he dropped to 1 nap a day recently. I am afraid he will wean completely or not get enough milk if I stop BF at night. In that case we will be truly screwed because we will have to feed him EBM with a spoon as we had to do so many times during his nursing strikes. What do I do?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    1,987

    Default Re: what to do?

    Here's an article that mentions your situation. http://www.llli.org/NB/NBJulAug90p99.html (Basically it says that doctors suggest this, but at least when the article was written in 1990, there was no research to back it up.)

    I just read How Weaning Happens and if I remember correctly, there is a part of that book that says weaning won't help with solid food consumption.

    On the flip side there are plenty of toddlers who nurse all night and eat well during the day (my son being one of them.) I guess I mention this b/c I think the clinic is trying to get you to do something when they don't completely understand breastfeeding. I think I would be inclined to ask them for their research that shows night weaning is a good idea and if they can't produce any, press for a different solution.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    14

    Default Re: what to do?

    You can do what I did with my son at 11 months. I gave up. I said to him, if you don't want to eat, I'm not going to make you. Let me know when you are ready for food. Three days later, he was eating. They may be able to sense when you're stressing about something which may make them very reluctant to cooperate. A little reverse psychology/throwing in the towel works (sometimes).

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    88

    Default Re: what to do?

    Momma I could have written much of your post! My son is also my little persistent German-genes little boy. Never took a bottle, pacificier, and didn't sleep more than 2-3 hours stretches at night until he was 18 months old. He had reflux (medication never helped) and was very dairy sensitive.

    Nursing him during the day was at times very difficult. He was very distracted and would often only nurse in a sling while I was moving, while he was napping. I took him to our ped often because i was worried something was wrong. He made up for the nursing at night, and was always gaining weight fine. Never took any solid foods until he was almost 10 months, and even then only at a 1 tablespoon at a time, just once or twice a day if that.

    I worried incessantly about it until he was about a year old, then decided as a previous poster said, that he would eat when he was hungry. So I just let him nurse as long as he wanted to and only offered solids once a day, about 1-2 hours after a nap. I think he was 15 months old when he started eating finger foods off of our plates, and soon after that he started eating alot! He went from eating very little and never feeding himself finger foods, to eating quite a bit! At 25 months now, there is very little he won't eat. My advice would be to do what you think is best for me, follow your instincts. As for the nightweaning, I would be hesitant to do that, because it sounds like he gets most of his nutrition at night. I agree with PP also, many healthcare professionals don't really know much about breastfeeding. I am a critical care nurse who works in NICU and pediatric intensive care, and I didn't know anything! I got lots of well meant but wrong advice from my coworkers!

    HTH

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
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    71

    Default Re: what to do?

    A while ago I read My Child Won't Eat! by Carlos Gonzalez. It had lots of good information, especially on feeding your child at his own pace. And he said that any child will not likely starve himself (but may prefer to nurse rather than eat solids much later than other children. I'd recommend it.

    http://store.llli.org/public/profile/160

    Good luck! You sound like you've been a wonderfully patient momma.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
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    236

    Default Re: what to do?

    My DS is also almost 13 mo's. He doeas not eat at all. Do you think your LO has an aversion to food or an overall oral aversion? My ped wants me to consider early intervention and speech therapy. Is this something you have looked into? As an aside my Mother tells me that my sister did not really eat solids until around 14 mo's.

    Mama to DD Mariah 04/03 2lbs 8oz BF 2yrs 1 day!
    DS Ryan 07/06 4lbs 15 oz No solids until 18 mo's!
    "You must be the change you wish to see in the world" Gandhi

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    43

    Default Re: what to do?

    I agree with the above post. Gonzalez's book is great and very reassuring! If you attend a local LLL group, the group library might actually have it. I liked it so much, I ended up buying my own copy so I could reassure myself when doubts crept in.

  8. #8
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    Dec 2006
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    1,197

    Default Re: what to do?

    Quote Originally Posted by BrooklynMama View Post
    My DS is also almost 13 mo's. He doeas not eat at all. Do you think your LO has an aversion to food or an overall oral aversion? My ped wants me to consider early intervention and speech therapy. Is this something you have looked into? As an aside my Mother tells me that my sister did not really eat solids until around 14 mo's.
    A speech therapist and an occupational therapist saw him at the feeding clinic. They think he has some oral sensitivity and they suggested occupational therapy to overcome it but they think the main reason he is not eating is because I BF him at night.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    77

    Default Re: what to do?

    I was in the same boat when my ds was 13 months old. I too was told that bf is the culprit. I don't think that was the case. He was just not ready, and had food sensitivities. At 27 months, he is a lot more interested in eating. What apelilae suggested is what seemed to work many times. Don't push him - that will make it more difficult for both of you. Take it at his pace, he WILL start eating (he Has to, sometime, doesn't he? )

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
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    236

    Default Re: what to do?

    I am not a big believer in the idea that nursing interferes with solids. Unless we are talking about nonstop nursing. Breastmilk is absorbed very quickly as opposed to formula or whole milk. I am opposed to forcing solids in anyway. I think it wil just backfire and LO will avoid solids even more. I think that you should follow your instincts and trust your own judgement. I know this can be frustrating. I went to Ds 1yr appt this week expecting my ped to ask me to nurse less. I was happy that she did not feel that nursing was anything but beneficial.

    Mama to DD Mariah 04/03 2lbs 8oz BF 2yrs 1 day!
    DS Ryan 07/06 4lbs 15 oz No solids until 18 mo's!
    "You must be the change you wish to see in the world" Gandhi

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