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Thread: Nightmare evenings with 11 wk old

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    568

    Unhappy Nightmare evenings with 11 wk old

    Hi all. This is my first proper post so forgive me if I ramble!
    My DS is 11 weeks old. After fighting with OS and OALD, we have finally been getting somewhere. Block feeding has really helped. He has a very healthy weight gain, was 7lb 2 at birth and is now almost 14lbs.
    BUT evenings are a nightmare. He becomes possessed! A bath calms him down but then he loses it. It's as though he's tired, hungry and a bit confused all at the same time. When I nurse him he is just on and off, not staying latched for very long at all. Then all of a sudden, sometimes after 2 hours of this performance, he will fall asleep and nurse quite well for a few minutes. Around 9 ish he will then settle and go to bed - last night he didn't wake to feed until 3.30am, and then only for about 10 minutes. It's as though his evening performance is preparing him for a good long stretch of sleep!?
    Our first son used to cluster BF in the evenings but didn't get upset like number 2!

    So, sorry to ramble, but to conclude, he is gorgeous but the evenings are killing me!! Have tried putting him in the sling, rocking etc. Does anyone have any suggestions to make this easier or any similar experiences?

    Grateful for any help?!!
    Claire
    Claire, Mum to Archie, 5 and Jack, almost 3! Number 3 on the way!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    NW OH
    Posts
    3,476

    Default Re: Nightmare evenings with 11 wk old

    hello! congrats on your new baby.
    I think it is very commen for little ones to have fussy evenings. My son would do almost the same exact thing as your DS at night. It went on for several weeks until he was 3 months. It just didnt happen one night. I didnt even realize that he stopped doing it until a few nights of it!
    here is a helpful link from the Kellymom website talking about evening fussiness .
    Your DS will stop eventually, but the waiting is the hard part!
    hang in there!!


    I'm Heather, SAHM to Cooper , born 1/2007
    and Bennett, our precious NICU grad born 8/2009
    and wife to Bill since 10/2003!
    We're young, but we know we can do it!
    Life with the Stevens-blog

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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    516

    Smile Re: Nightmare evenings with 11 wk old

    Ah the "witching hour". We were there for a good month or so in the beginning. It eventually went away on its own. Wearing LO in the sling as much as possible during the day really helped us, as did a nice walk around the block at dusk.

    If LO is fed, changed, warm and being held by a loving parent, then they are ok, and you shouldn't worry too much about the crying. He will settle into life outside the womb eventually.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
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    2,770

    Default Re: Nightmare evenings with 11 wk old

    When we started giving Haley a bath before bedtime, we found that she would totally relax while in the tub, but the second we took her out she just screamed and screamed. That made the rest of the nighttime preparations a real challenge.

    Over the last month or so, she has really calmed down. She usually doesn't cry when getting out of the bath, although quite often she will cry when we are dressing her for bed--but I think that's because she likes to be naked! And we are usually able to calm her down enough for nursing and sleep soon after. So, my first bit of advice is to hang in there, because I think your LO is probably still just adjusting and will grow out of this phase.

    Secondly, though, have you tried some white noise to calm him? There are still nights when Haley is very fussy at bedtime, and if I turn on the hair dryer (a vacuum cleaner would work too) for a couple minutes, she'll relax enough to nurse and go to sleep. Maybe that would work?

    Hang in there. You're doing great!
    I love my kids. I care for them accordingly. What more can I say?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    476

    Default Re: Nightmare evenings with 11 wk old

    Hello,

    I know how it is, my son was 'colicky' or more appropriately a high-needs baby. It's really just their temperment. I've recommended this book time and time again as it truly gave my DH and I the skills to cope with things. It's by Harvey Karp and called the "Happiest Baby on the Block" here's a link too: http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-...4857631&sr=8-2

    Several nights a week my son would just wail and scream for hours on end. I would swaddle him, sing, dance, walk around the block, you name it. My son also doesn't like to nurse if he is groggy so we would just cuddle and try and get him through the rough spots. It was so hard, with the tips in the book I recommended, we figured out a routine. He still gets a bath everynight, I'm laughing b/c sometimes he would scream through the entire thing when he was that tiny. Music, the reverse breastfeeding hold, and lots of swaying helped. He calmed down particularly well to Neil Young and Willie Nelson, probably helped me stay calm too since those are my favorites and we'd just sachee through the house and I'd sing along. At about 6 months he became a whole new baby, once he could sit up he really mellowed a lot.

    One thing too which I recommend is don't let others get you down about having a high needs baby. It would upset me when my family would complain about DS being colicky, my husband and I would just say it's his temperment, there's nothing wrong with him he just needs a different kind of parenting. I think b/c of our high needs son, we have parented differently than we thought, ie: the family bed. I never thought we'd be a co-sleeping family, but at 1 year we're all still cuddled up together. The sling helps too, but DS hated the cradle hold so we got creative with carrying him other ways in the sling.

    It will be okay, it's hard, but that tiny bundle of joy will eventually move out of this phase.
    Last edited by LunaticLibrarian; July 19th, 2007 at 09:20 AM.

    My Little Reverse Cyclers
    *DS born July 2006, nursed 3 yrs 10 mos!
    *DD born January 2011, happily nursing and bucking the bottle just like big brother
    *One Angel baby we sadly never met July 2009

    Happily married to an amazing man who puts up with all my craziness since 1999.


  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    568

    Default Re: Nightmare evenings with 11 wk old

    Thankyou all for your input. Makes you feel better you're not doing anything wrong!!! Yes, people (MIL) do say that he's got "colic" (don't think so) or "give him a bottle" (thanks for the BF support!) but I think I know myself that he's just a different temperament baby to number 1!!
    Thanks again, it's coming up to that time of the evening, so I need to summon my patience!!
    Claire, Mum to Archie, 5 and Jack, almost 3! Number 3 on the way!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    988

    Default Re: Nightmare evenings with 11 wk old

    I am also experiencing the same thing as you are right now. I think it might be just that age, at least there is hope that it'll go away eventually. I just try nursing him and rocking him then nursing him again. Some night rocking and patting him works, and than other nights nursing does the trick. He's so fickle sometimes.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    112

    Default Re: Nightmare evenings with 11 wk old

    Oddly, I've been having this problem with my 11 week old in the mornings. My LO has reflux though, and he also builds up gas throughout the night. I think this might have something to do with it. We get the evening fussies sometimes too. I've found that if I can get him to take a small nap in the early evening (easier said than done) that sometimes helps. Also, I have had good results from wearing him with the Moby Wrap. Calms him right down. We've been having a heat wave here the last few weeks though, so that's not currently practical.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: Nightmare evenings with 11 wk old

    Hi. I'm new here, but I thought I would add my reply. Ihave the same problem with my lo, Reese (9 wks). She would scream and cry, seemingly for no reason. Until I figured out that she was really tired and needing a nap (this happened as she was getting more alert, and fighting falling asleep on her own). She just couldn't get herself to sleep because there's just so much to look at! Wrapping her, giving her a paci, and white noise worked like a charm. Now when she gets fussy and has been up for a while (she doesn't give a lot of other signals that she needs to sleep, passage of time and crying are it!), I turn on the TV but not the cable box so that its just snowy noise, and turn it up loud, and rock her and pat her while standing in front of TV. She drops off to sleep in a few minutes. I just bought a CD of ocean sounds to use in the car and during her naps instead of the TV or radio tuned to a "non-station." She seems to like it. My dh always complained about the static noise. She also stopped wanting to cosleep at about the same time. We went thru a couple nights without much sleep because she would wake up after 15 minutes, and scream. Now she sleeps wrapped up in her bouncy seat (LOVES vibration, not so much the swing). She slept 6 hours last night, and I had to wake for a feeding at 5 am. I was really engorged, and already havng supply problems, so I wanted to make sure she nursed. Anyway, try wrapping (if its hot, wrap in just a onesie or diaper), white noise, etc. The Karp book (Happiest Baby, they made me watch the DVD in the hospital!) is great, I'm reading it now even though I watched the movie. Good luck. Jen

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