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Thread: Feeling overwhelmed

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    45

    Unhappy Feeling overwhelmed

    I thought I would turn to you ladies for support. My LO is 8 months today and I am at the point that I feel like quitting.
    She is tiny (15 lbs. 9 oz as of yesterday) and we have had an issue with her not being a "hungry" baby from the start. She has never been like my son was who let everyone know when he wanted to eat.
    She is currently eating LESS than 5 mins. per feed from only one breast. She is doing this approx. 5-6 times a day. I know babies can be efficient eaters but 3 mins. I think is pushing it. I hardly think I have had a let down by the time she pulls off!
    However, she rarely asks to be fed (she has been like this from the start). I offer all the time and she probably takes the breast 5 or 6 times a day. The rest of the time she flatly refuses me and gets upset. This is where I am getting frustrated - should I back off on offering her the breast and wait until she is actively asking for it and hope that she will eat longer this way or should I keep offering? I have noticed that since the time she nurses has gotten shorter (over the last 6 days) her wet diapers have decreased a bit.
    I worry that she isn't getting enough. I have tried removing solids (she is getting a minimal amount of these) but it doesn't change anything.
    Any advice - anyone who has a baby around the same age who only eats 4 or so times a day? It always seems that the babies on here love to BF and do it 6-8 times a day (if not more) at this age.
    I am sad that it isn't the same type of BF relationship I had with my son. He loved to nurse and I miss that. I wish my BF relationship with my daughter was without stress for the both of us.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    miles from nowhere
    Posts
    11,126

    Default Re: Feeling overwhelmed

    I don't have a lot of advice for you wrmom, I just wanted to offer my support.

    I have heard of happy to starve babies that just don't have the urge to eat and their mommys have to pretty much make them eat something. I'm not sure if this is the case for you or not, or if it is, what you'd do to fix it. But I can say that at least when she does eat she is getting breastmilk. What if you weaned her onto formula and she still doesn't eat? I guess I'm saying that I don't think stopping bfing is necessarily going to solve the problem. You are doing the best you can for your daughter by giving her the best possible nutrition.

    I hope someone else can get on here and give you some more advice.

    I just re-read your post- my lo just turned 9 months and weighs just barely 16 lbs, so yours isn't unhealthily small!!!
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    307

    Default Re: Feeling overwhelmed

    i have no advice, but just wanted to offer . does her doc seem concerned? if not, then i wouldn't worry too much about it.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    New Orleans, LA
    Posts
    5,052

    Default Re: Feeling overwhelmed

    Sorry, just another with no experience. Hang in there and maybe things will get better. Don't let go without a really good fight!!
    Mother - Wife - Artist - Cook - Writer - EnvironMENTAList - Cloth Diaperer (but we are soooo done with diapers) - Organic Health Nut...I'm sure there's more.

    DD1 - 12/15/05 Breastfed for 16.5 months
    DD2 - 8/6/07 Breastfed for 3 whole years and 3 little, extra days.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    1,558

    Default Re: Feeling overwhelmed

    My niece is 9 months and probably weighs 17 pounds... She is formula fed. She drinks between 16-20 oz per day, has cereal in the morning, one pack of veggies and one pack of fruit per day. She is extremely active and that's why she is on the smaller side...but she is fine!
    Proud Mommy to Michael who is 3 now! Michael was nurseynursed for 2 years!!
    I did not make up this persona, but if I did, I would make myself 50 pounds lighter and 5 years younger!!!!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    718

    Default Re: Feeling overwhelmed

    Ditto my son. He just doesn`t show any hunger cues, I have to "guess" when he is hungry. Personally, I`ve tried going longer between feedings but had no success. He ate the same amount only later.
    I know this is hard. My only advice is keep offering the breast as often as she would take it. Even if it`s only a few secs at a time. Try different positions, and make it a game. Relax. Stress does not help at all.
    Hope it gets better soon.

    Mommy to a busy toddler

    "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep in order to gain that which he cannot lose."
    Jim Elliot

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    1

    Default Re: Feeling overwhelmed

    I am having the same experience with my DS. He was always efficient at breastfeeding but for the last month or longer he only spends 3 minutes on one side. I too was getting frustrated and worried about him gaining weight and also about my milk supply decreasing. He remained at the same weight for the last month and is only now starting to gain weight. This was partly due to teething but this started even before the teething began. I do have some suggestions that may work for you. I breastfeed him when he is sleepy or sleeping. He usually will have a good feeding this way, although it does take a little longer. I put him to sleep first for naps and bedtime and then breastfeed. Also, you could try giving him a bottle of EBM, although this didn't work for me. What did work for me was giving him EBM from a dropper. I know it sounds crazy and time consuming but it did work! Because I was worried about my milk supply, I rented a hospital grade pump from a lactation consultant which was really efficient at extracting the hind milk. I made sure I would give this milk (usually via dropper) or I would add this milk to his cereal. You could also try giving your LO more calorie dense foods like avocado mixed with breast milk. Of course try to give as much BM as possible before increasing solids too much. I hope this helps!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    40

    Default Re: Feeling overwhelmed

    Please hang in there!! You will get a lot of support and suggestions from the moms here

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    344

    Default Re: Feeling overwhelmed

    My son was about that age when his weight gain slowed down, he was 16lbs and stayed at 16lbs for a few months. My 6 month old daughter is 11lbs and 23in, tiny herself. Some babies are just small and some babies just aren't always hungry. Is the doctor concerned?

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    45

    Default Re: Feeling overwhelmed

    Thanks for all of your responses. My doctor is not in the least concerned as she is meeting or ahead of all her milestones. She is very active (crawling, pulling up etc.) which doesn't help as she is constantly burning calories.
    I have tried to do most of the suggestions people have suggested but it is nice to hear other people who have experienced the same thing.
    Thanks for the support - hopefully this will be short lived.

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