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Thread: We are on our way

  1. #21
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    8,018

    Default Re: We are on our way

    Quote Originally Posted by epbrown View Post
    I just cry...I am so tired of hormones. I can't read any of these without crying. I was so sad this morning because she woke up too early, was up for about an hour, and then needed to take a little snooze, and in those very rare instances that this happens, she has been nursing to sleep, and not wanting me to put her down. She would wake up everytime I shifted, or tried to unlatch her...well, this morning, she wanted me to cuddle her, but did the Ouch thing when I offerred nursing to her. Then she watned her pacifier and we cuddled on the chair and rocked and she fell asleep. I mean, really, its not any different than nursing her would have been, except that it was a sign to me that she was done nursing. Its hard to explain what I mean, but its like when she did that, it was the closure. It was her saying she didn't need it anymore.
    I can just picture this as my DD seems to want to wake up an hour before she is ready lately and nurse, of course right at the same time I need to get ready to go to work. This morning I said, okay, 5 minutes, but of course she was not happy when I tried to unlatch her! Sounds like we're both looking at greener grass right now, right???
    This is obviously very emotional for you with good reason! But can I tell you, reading your words, I see the picture you've painted of this morning's events as a beautiful example of parenting. She still needs YOU and cuddling, closeness, comfort from YOU.

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    436

    Default Re: We are on our way

    Yes, enjoy the cuddles of your sweet girl and remember how AWESOME is is that you were able to nurse this long, given everything you struggled through. Hormones suck, but your girl is beautiful and you'll soon have another little one to add to the snuggles.
    Annie
    Mama to Jeremy Daniel (12/10/2005)


    I'm a late cloth convert...and you? :tumbsup

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    2,156

    Default Re: We are on our way

    Quote Originally Posted by mollyb View Post
    She still needs YOU and cuddling, closeness, comfort from YOU.

    Kimberly Mommy to Landin and Avery

    ------------------------------------------

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    2,101

    Default Re: We are on our way

    Erin,



    Weaning is so emotional and it is hard when no one IRL seems to understand or care. You always seem to do what is best for your lo (especially regarding her health) so please don't regret the decisions you've made that may have influenced her decision to wean. Also, I'm sure you know more than me, but isn't it possible that when you're milk comes in she'll want to nurse again?
    Laura, proud vbacing, ecological breastfeeding mommy to four ages 8, 6, 5, and 2. That's Kate nursing her doll, Adam.

    The Seven Standards of ecological breastfeeding: (1) exclusive breasfeeding for the first 6 months (2) pacify baby at your breast (3) don't use bottles and pacifiers (4) co-sleep for night feedings (5) take a nursing nap (6) nurse frequently day and night; avoiding schedules (7) avoid practices that restrict nursing or separates you from your baby. The average return of menstruation for ecological breastfeeding mothers is between 14 and 15 months.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    8,591

    Default Re: We are on our way

    Quote Originally Posted by all night DQ View Post
    Also, I'm sure you know more than me, but isn't it possible that when you're milk comes in she'll want to nurse again?
    I have no idea! Its one of those questions that I don't have an answer to. I thought if I could keep her nursing once a day, I could be sure that she wouldn't forget how, and the new milk would make her want to nurse more, but I don't know if she will remember how at this point.

    And I know in my mind I shouldn't be second guessing choices, but then the what ifs of my heart creep back up. Its weird. I took a nap, though, and am not nearly as emotional. I am looking forward to her bedtime, and the cuddling I will get before she goes to sleep. She was never a cuddler, and now she is a bit more, so in that respect, its nice.

    Erin
    Wife to a grizzly
    Mama to my little deer (12/05) my loving bear cub (9/07--), and our little tiger (3/22/10)
    Born by one c-section and 2 amazing VBACs


    Miles in 2012: 350.5/900 (Actual Miles Ran: 189)
    Miles in 2011: 708.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 509)
    Miles in 2010: 800.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 620)

    January Miles: 37.5/75
    February Miles: 59/75
    March Miles: 42.5/60
    April Miles: 64
    May Miles: 41/70
    June Miles: 59
    July Miles: 39.5

    227.5 miles on my new shoes
    338 miles on my old shoes

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    8,272

    Default Re: We are on our way

    Quote Originally Posted by epbrown View Post
    And I know in my mind I shouldn't be second guessing choices, but then the what ifs of my heart creep back up.
    Ooooh - no beating your self up over "what ifs"!!!

    I think we all make the best decisions that we can based on the information we have at that time and how we feel at that time.

    As the mom of a non snuggly LO - I'm glad to hear that you're getting some snuggle time now.
    Lynn
    DS1: bf 7/2006 -> 4/2009; multiple food allergies
    DS2: bf 9/2009 -> ???
    ; multiple food allergies
    Breastmilk Donor - http://hmbana.org/index/donatemilk
    Click HERE to learn about baby led solids (BLS) / baby led weaning (BLW)

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    8,591

    Default Re: We are on our way

    Bump for Lyn--I guess she weaned at around 7 months, not 6, but she went a full 3 months without nursing when she picked it up again.

    Erin
    Wife to a grizzly
    Mama to my little deer (12/05) my loving bear cub (9/07--), and our little tiger (3/22/10)
    Born by one c-section and 2 amazing VBACs


    Miles in 2012: 350.5/900 (Actual Miles Ran: 189)
    Miles in 2011: 708.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 509)
    Miles in 2010: 800.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 620)

    January Miles: 37.5/75
    February Miles: 59/75
    March Miles: 42.5/60
    April Miles: 64
    May Miles: 41/70
    June Miles: 59
    July Miles: 39.5

    227.5 miles on my new shoes
    338 miles on my old shoes

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    9,280

    Default Re: We are on our way

    Thanks Erin, a lot of what you wrote is so familiar to me.

    So did she drop to less sessions, then pick up again, then drop it entirely? Daniel did that wanting to nurse ALL the time thing a little over a week ago, and that was after only nursing every couple days.

    The funny thing is, I don't really WANT to nurse him right now, but I also don't want him to stop! I think I am sending him mixed signals. He is content to be close to my breasts and belly and just be lovey like that.

    I think I was really scared that when he wouldn't really suck properly, that meant he had forgotten, but he proved this morning that he hadn't. And you reassured me in what you said about Haylee picking it back up again too.

    Its all made worse by the pregnancy hormones + weaning hormones. Sometimes I have to laugh at my weepy self.
    Lyn
    Nursing the girl with kaleidoscope eyes


    Mama to Daniel (12/3/06) and Lucy Jane (8/28/08)

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    9,280

    Default Re: We are on our way

    Quote Originally Posted by moose View Post
    And this one...if only I hadn't gotten pregnant and robbed her of this time, this nutrition, this immunity.
    This is the one I am struggling with the most, Erin. I don't think he'd have cut back this much if the milk didn't go. I see other Mamas on here nursing toddlers at full steam. The only difference between them and me is the milk. So I think thats some guilt that I have to let go of. And dare I even admit, the resentment and unattachment that I have for this new baby because of what she has done to me and D? There, I said it!

    I know that I can pump milk for him after this baby is born, I am SO thankful for that. So he will get 2+ years of milk, just not consecutive years.
    Lyn
    Nursing the girl with kaleidoscope eyes


    Mama to Daniel (12/3/06) and Lucy Jane (8/28/08)

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    8,591

    Default Re: We are on our way

    The attachment will come. I had the same ambivalent feelings toward W before he was born. But the MOMENT I saw him, those flew out the window and I actually started feeling resentment toward Haylee because she was still so needy but she seemed so big. Seriously, once she started nursing again, I could see how small she really was and it helped. But she still didn't nurse all that much until a couple months ago.

    As for him cutting back--it IS because of your pregnancy. YOu don't want him to nurse as much because of the way it makes you feel, AND it hurts, AND you want your space. That's OK. Its OK for you to set limits. But try not to send mixed signals (I know its hard, and I NEVER had the feelings of not wanting to nurse Haylee like you had with Daniel, so I can't even begin to knoe how hard that guilt must be in addition to all the other guilt you are feeling. Just know that resentment is normal when it comes to having two, especially when still nursing the first. AND especially when you weren't even expecting to be expecting in the first place.

    Before she weaned for the second to last final time , she had went on and off with nursing frequency. I thought for a long time she was weaning and then poof, she picked up and was nursing around the clock just like old times. And then one day, it seamed, nothing. Its such an emotional roller coaster, and its unfair that hormonaly we have to go through it.

    Also, Haylee was never a "nursey" baby. She never depended on it for comfort and rarely nursed for comfort. She has not been like that since she started nursing again. She wants it for comfort all the time. Which is a catch-22, really. She often wants it when I just can't give it.

    Like most tandem mamas, I have mixed emotions about tandem'ing. But I still wouldn't change it!

    Erin
    Wife to a grizzly
    Mama to my little deer (12/05) my loving bear cub (9/07--), and our little tiger (3/22/10)
    Born by one c-section and 2 amazing VBACs


    Miles in 2012: 350.5/900 (Actual Miles Ran: 189)
    Miles in 2011: 708.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 509)
    Miles in 2010: 800.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 620)

    January Miles: 37.5/75
    February Miles: 59/75
    March Miles: 42.5/60
    April Miles: 64
    May Miles: 41/70
    June Miles: 59
    July Miles: 39.5

    227.5 miles on my new shoes
    338 miles on my old shoes

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