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Thread: We are on our way

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    8,591

    Default We are on our way

    I am convinced, at this point, that its probable we won't be tandem nursing. Haylee has decreased her nursing sessions over the past few weeks, and with my supply down to only a few drops of colostrum, she is wanting to nurse less and less. She nursed this morning, but it had been 48 hours since she nursed last, and it only lasted a few minutes. She didn't even want to nurse back to sleep last night when she woke at 1:30. Two weeks ago, I thought she was actually enjoying it more, as she nursed to sleep consistently for a few days in a row, but now it seems she wants nothing to do with it. I am sad, but I am surprisingly okay with it. Of course, it may be a phase, and tomorrow may change things (she is unpredictable, to say the least) but right now I am working on accepting emotionally that she may just be done with it. Its so weird to think of her moving on from that phase in her life...but I knew this would happen and it really is just a phase--the beginning of a series of weanings. I know with this one, this child of mine, I will have to accept that her very strong personality will dictate very suddenly when she is ready...and I will have no say in it whatsoever, so this is just one of the first steps.

    I have been so lucky--I have never felt touched out by nursing her, never felt the need to have my body back, and even though we struggled with nursing strikes and colic, and lack of sleep, I have never once not wanted to nurse her. I was blessed to watch my milk nourish her over the her first 12 months, and was very fortunate to be confident enough to not doubt it even with weight/size issues. Then, for the past 7 months, as I was saddened with low supply as a result of my next gift, I saw how much nursing meant to her, but on her own terms. She has gone full circle, from hating to nurse for a few months, multiple nursing strikes, never nursing to sleep, then nursing to sleep, loving it and refusing it. I got to see how independent it has made her--my never denying her, and how happy she has become after being such an unhappy infant. I am sad at the tought of not having that connection, and I am really trying to find how I will find a connection with my very active, very unaffectionate daughter, but I know that it will come. It has to.

    Well, I am gonna stop rambling now...thanks for listening!

    Erin
    Wife to a grizzly
    Mama to my little deer (12/05) my loving bear cub (9/07--), and our little tiger (3/22/10)
    Born by one c-section and 2 amazing VBACs


    Miles in 2012: 350.5/900 (Actual Miles Ran: 189)
    Miles in 2011: 708.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 509)
    Miles in 2010: 800.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 620)

    January Miles: 37.5/75
    February Miles: 59/75
    March Miles: 42.5/60
    April Miles: 64
    May Miles: 41/70
    June Miles: 59
    July Miles: 39.5

    227.5 miles on my new shoes
    338 miles on my old shoes

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    2,156

    Default Re: We are on our way


    Kimberly Mommy to Landin and Avery

    ------------------------------------------

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    8,018

    Default Re: We are on our way


    It's understandable that you feel sad, but don't feel guilty if you are a little relieved too, kwim? I imagine that's how I would feel (lol-Eve was nursing like a newborn the other night because her canine teeth are coming in).
    Haylee is lucky to have you as a mama. Your story of natural weaning is actually encouraging to me. I'm not sure if I could swing tandeming but I also don't want to force-wean, kwim?
    How are Haylee's "size issues" thes days anyway? Did I miss an update?

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    New Orleans, LA
    Posts
    5,036

    Default Re: We are on our way

    Quote Originally Posted by epbrown View Post
    I am sad at the tought of not having that connection, and I am really trying to find how I will find a connection with my very active, very unaffectionate daughter, but I know that it will come. It has to.
    That connection is already there, always has been, always will be. Nursing has been your window to that connection for all this time, when it's gone you will see it in a new light.

    Just a few minutes ago I was preparing Kate's lunch and she walked up to me, hugged my leg and kissed it. Of course I teared up, b/c that's all I seem to do lately...but that feeling came over me, that warm, soothing connection.

    It will show itself in many ways.
    Mother - Wife - Artist - Cook - Writer - EnvironMENTAList - Cloth Diaperer (but we are soooo done with diapers) - Organic Health Nut...I'm sure there's more.

    DD1 - 12/15/05 Breastfed for 16.5 months
    DD2 - 8/6/07 Breastfed for 3 whole years and 3 little, extra days.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    2,726

    Default Re: We are on our way

    Wow, it made me sorta sad when I read this. I don't know why, besides putting myself in your shoes and feeling how you must feel right now. I am currently in the weaning process (we're down to 4 feedings, I plan to get it down to 2 and then stay at two until we wean, not certain when that will be at this point); but sometimes I find myself second-guessing if I am making the right choice. Surprisingly, DD is doing really great without it, and when we do nurse she doesn't really want to nurse for very long. I am explaining this only because I am starting to feel the sadness that everyone here has written of when their children want to wean... I always thought I would just be relieved, and though in all honesty I am relieved, I also am feeling an odd & painful grief that I did not expect to feel. Almost like someone I love is leaving my life; I guess because it's been there since she was born, and life with her and without nursing will, in essence, be a whole new start. Does that make sense?

    Regardless, I am glad that you are taking it well and I want to congratulate you on your soon-to-be new life together.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
    Posts
    17,424

    Default Re: We are on our way

    WAAAAH! I'm not ready!
    I thought you were going to stay at the party longer than me. WAAAAH!

    Way too lazy for formula

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    8,591

    Default Re: We are on our way

    I'm not really ready to leave the party either. Not ready at all, but I am dealing with it okay. I am very sad...been crying on and off all day long, but I'm okay with her weaning. Tonight, we had a big night and we got home, and I was certain she would want to nurse before bed, but when we sat down, she said, "nurse? no. all done." I put her in bed and she hasn't fussed since. It is so bittersweet. I am so happy that she seems to have fulfilled her need for nursing, but I just don't want to let go of the baby that was laying in my arms nursing. I feel like once that is gone, all the baby will be gone. I put her hair--all of it--in a ponytail today and she looked like such a big girl, not a baby at all. Waaaaahhhh is right. I want my baby back!

    Erin
    Wife to a grizzly
    Mama to my little deer (12/05) my loving bear cub (9/07--), and our little tiger (3/22/10)
    Born by one c-section and 2 amazing VBACs


    Miles in 2012: 350.5/900 (Actual Miles Ran: 189)
    Miles in 2011: 708.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 509)
    Miles in 2010: 800.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 620)

    January Miles: 37.5/75
    February Miles: 59/75
    March Miles: 42.5/60
    April Miles: 64
    May Miles: 41/70
    June Miles: 59
    July Miles: 39.5

    227.5 miles on my new shoes
    338 miles on my old shoes

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    out of my right mind
    Posts
    2,631

    Default Re: We are on our way

    My sister and I were just talking the other day about her experience when my neice self-weaned. You both make me want to cry! I don't know how I'll deal when I get there!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Not around here as much :(
    Posts
    12,132

    Default Re: We are on our way

    Click here to find an LLL leader near you...or call 1 877 4 LA LECHE for help now.

    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
    Emerson


    Ban the bags. ......... Watch your language. ....... Help keep Dr Newman's clinic open!

    We demand that our childcare providers are CPR certified... why don't we demand the same of ourselves! Get certified!

    I lost 22 lbs in 8 months... with a bit of determination and common sense information from this book.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    6,959

    Default Re: We are on our way

    Awwwww. You are such a good mommy. You will be a terrific new mommy to someone else soon too.

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