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Thread: I need reassurance I'm not a bad mom

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    286

    Default Re: I need reassurance I'm not a bad mom

    My LO now rolls over from his back to his tummy. I think he learned that because he was tired of sleeping on his back. lol. He is upstairs right now taking a nap on his tummy - after I had put him down on his back.
    Dana
    Wife to Jonathan Edward, 3/29/2002
    Mother of Alexander "Lex" Edward, 3/4/2007
    Attachment Parenting - it's not what you do, it's why you do it.
    Breastfeeding
    Co-Sleeping
    Wearing Lex as often as possible
    Daytime cloth diaperer, nighttime sposie user

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    miles from nowhere
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    11,107

    Default Re: I need reassurance I'm not a bad mom

    guilty.

    My lo slept on her tummy from about 1 month on. She just stays asleep so much longer that way. Now she'll flip and turn all over the place once she's asleep, but we still lay her on her tummy to start off the night. I figured that since she didn't have/wasn't exposed to any of the other risk factors for SIDS she'd be ok. Of course that didn't stop me from worrying and feeling guilty over it for ages.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    2,770

    Default Re: I need reassurance I'm not a bad mom

    Haley has been sleeping on her tummy since week 2. She just didn't sleep well at all on her back. I really agonized over the decision, but I finally decided it was best for us. Here's why:

    1. Babies slept on their tummies for a very long time before the Back to Sleep campaign. Yes, sometimes SIDS struck. But an awful lot of babies survived (me being one of them), so tummy sleeping is clearly not the only deciding factor.

    2. I was told by someone who has done the research and whose advice I trust that the research showing that back sleeping decreased SIDS by 70% was mainly done on babies who sleep alone in a crib in a separate room from their parents. By co-sleeping, even with a bassinet beside our bed, we were "teaching" Haley how to regulate her breathing and wake herself throughout the night as needed, which decreased the risk.

    3. We made sure there were no other risk factors, and we are always close by when she sleeps.

    4. She had decent head control, as far as turning from side to side and not just landing on her face, pretty early on. Since we could see that she was able to turn her head, we felt much better about letting her sleep on her tummy. Now that she has even more head control, we worry even less.

    5. A baby who doesn't sleep is a miserable baby with tired parents. We finally decided that if tummy sleeping worked for us and we understood the risk we were taking, that it was ok. Every parenting decision you make is likely to have some sort of risk, and at some point you just have to take a deep breath and do what you think is right.

    Even Dr. Sears, who still dutifully recommends back sleeping as the preferred position, says on his website:

    Unless advised to the contrary by your doctor, it is best to let your baby sleep in a position she prefers. If baby doesn't settle well, or stay on her back or side, front sleeping is all right. Also, you may find that your baby prefers different sleep positions at different ages. After all, there is a meaningful wisdom of the body, even in a baby. If a baby repeatedly doesn't settle in a certain sleeping position, this may be a clue that this position may not be the safest for this individual baby. This is just one example of how babies often try to tell us what is in their best interest. Parents should not be afraid to listen.

    ... If you've made a diligent effort to encourage back-sleeping and your baby still sleeps best on her stomach, let her, and don't fear that she is going to die of SIDS, especially if the other risk factors are not present. Studies on large numbers of babies show a statistical increase in SIDS if baby sleeps tummy-down, but your baby is an individual. The front-sleeping risk factor for SIDS doesn't mean that you should worry every time you place your baby down to sleep. Just be sure to place your baby to sleep on a safe bedding surface. After all, over 99.9 percent of tummy-sleeping infants wake up every morning.

    (You can find more info at his site at askdrsears.com. He has suggestions for helping a baby adjust to back or side sleeping as well as lots of other good stuff.)

    There are still evenings when I will sneak into the room an extra time to check on her and nights when I sit up in bed to peek in the bassinet, just to be sure she's ok. I still feel like a bad mommy sometimes. But I know I'm helping my baby sleep, which is a good thing. Trust your instincts. You're doing great!
    I love my kids. I care for them accordingly. What more can I say?

  4. #14
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    18

    Default Re: I need reassurance I'm not a bad mom

    My 1st slept on his stomach as recommended. My second and third went straight to the tummy from birth. My ped hates it, but I have to do what is best for my baby.

    My husband's pediatrician from childhood has a book. She practiced for over 70 years and swears by tummy sleeping. She has you layer 4 towels under the sheet and pull the sheet tightly over the towels. This creates ventilation and also absorbs any spit-up.

    In over 70 years, she never had a baby die of SIDS. She's a little famous here in Georgia. Her name is Dr. Denmark.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    79

    Default Re: I need reassurance I'm not a bad mom

    I wouldn't worry to much. My ds had to sleep on his tummy he had reflux and the apnea drs suggested it along with a 45 degree incline because at night he could choke himself if he spit up. That actually makes alot of sense to me. My dd loved to sleep on her back. I co slept alot but when she did sleep alone whether in a crib,bassinet, or even a swing..lol she preferred her back so each baby is different. You do what's best for your family. I was paranoid actually that she would choke on her back. I think I got alot less sleep with back sleeping baby.LOL

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