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Thread: First time user-have serious problem

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2007

    Unhappy First time user-have serious problem

    Just got the Internet for the first time yesterday, so it's all new too me. I'm so excited about this site, though. Anyway, I have a five month old baby boy, and bfing was is going ok, but three weeks ago, I had a miscarraige. I've been REALLY depressed about it, and because of animia, my milk supply suffered a little. It's been frustrating on top of everything to feel like I'm letting my little boy down sometimes. I also have two older babies (5 and 4) who need lots of attention since the baby arrived, but I feel so tired and am crying a lot of the time. The worst part is that I feel like everyone else has moved on, but I'm still suffering so much inside and trying to hide it. Is it silly to miss a baby so much that I never even got to see? So if anyone has been through this or has any advice, please let me know. Thanks.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2007

    Cool Re: First time user-have serious problem

    I am so sorry about your loss.

    These boards are a great place to find helpful women. Welcome! There is a section of these forums for support after a loss. The wonderful, caring ladies there have a lot of wisdom to share that could help you cope.

    If you feel like you are overwhelmed, please seek help. It could be a family member, a doctor, or even a crisis phone line. You DESERVE help at this tough time in your life. You don't have to go it alone.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2007

    Default Re: First time user-have serious problem

    Welcome to the forums! And I had a miscarriage right before I conceived with my LO that I have now. And I was very sad, because I saw the lil blob come out when I was going to the bathroom, I was probably only 3 weeks along not too far at all. But it still effected me! So no I don't think that its bad that you are upset over it. In the forums there is a section for the loss of an unborn. Maybe you should go there as well cause I'm sure you'll get alot of support. You'll get lots of support wherever you go in the forums! I'm sure other mamas will be along to offer their advice. But I just want to give you a and your doing the best that you can! Hang in there it'll get better over time.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2007

    Default Re: First time user-have serious problem

    I'm so sorry for your loss.

    Quote Originally Posted by Anna Hefley View Post
    Is it silly to miss a baby so much that I never even got to see? So if anyone has been through this or has any advice, please let me know. Thanks.
    Absolutely not! From the moment you even suspect you are pregnant, you have plans for your baby. You may even have a name already picked out and I'm sure you've imagined how he/she would look. I truly believe it doesn't matter if you lose a baby early on or later in the pregnancy... a loss is a loss and you never truly 'get over it'. I lost my first little boy at 21 weeks of pregnancy due to an incompetent cervix and a placental abruption. With my 2nd pregnancy, I started dialating at 21 weeks and they put in a rescue cerclage. I delivered another baby boy (Jordan Marc) at 24 weeks. He was 1lb 5oz and 13.5inches long. He only lived 29.5 hours. This was 15 years ago. I did go on to have a successful pregnancy the following year. My miracle baby is now 13. I was remarried over the summer and became pregnant again, but not without complications. I knew I would deliver early as I had been admitted at 26 weeks, so they gave us a tour of the NICU and the first little baby they showed us was a 24weeker that was the same wt/ht as my Jordan. I can't even begin to describe how I felt. Like a ton of bricks hitting me and I had all I could do not to cry. I just started to tremble inside... 15 years later. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I know how difficult this is. You will get through it, but you'll never forget it. Please find yourself some face-to-face support as well. Perhaps check out this site: http://www.nationalshareoffice.com/index.shtml . I hope this helps some.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2007

    Default Re: First time user-have serious problem

    I agree. It is not silly at all. A mother is still a mother, no matter if the baby was born or not, still a baby.

    I have never had a miscarriage, that I know of, but I am sure that you can find support on these boards. to you, and you can make it through. Also, if anybody tells you that you need to get over it, then ignore them. You will need time.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2007

    Default Re: First time user-have serious problem

    I have not had your experience myself, but my heart goes out to you. It is not silly at all to mourn the loss of your baby. A baby is a baby, no matter how new or small! And with any loss, healing takes time. I know you've probably got a lot of demands on your time and attention with your other LOs, but please do make sure you get just a little bit of time to take care of yourself. And if you feel like you don't have the support you need, please find someone who understands why you're hurting so deeply. Welcome to the forum. I hope you'll like it here. Lots of to you, mama!
    I love my kids. I care for them accordingly. What more can I say?

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2006

    Default Re: First time user-have serious problem

    It is possible to get post partum depression as a result of a miscarriage, especially if you were postpartum with a living baby when it occurred! I would definitely discuss your emotions with your doctor. There are many things you can do to increase the iron in your diet and there are medications you can take to help with your mood.

    Miscarriage is especially difficult because its not talked about enough. We hide it under the rug, for some reason, and its much easier for those around us to move on because they didn't have the attachment to the baby that we had.

    So sorry to hear of your loss, and welcome to the forum!

    Wife to a grizzly
    Mama to my little deer (12/05) my loving bear cub (9/07--), and our little tiger (3/22/10)
    Born by one c-section and 2 amazing VBACs

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