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Thread: feeling overwhelmed

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    66

    Default feeling overwhelmed

    I have a 2yo daughter and 5 week old newborn who is nursing. I am really starting to feel an overwhelming sense of anxiety and fatigue with nursing on demand and pumping for night bottles (my situation is that I'm separated from my lo for 5-6 hours each night).

    I keep reading all these articles about how rewarding the breastfeeding relationship is, and of course I know the benefits for my lo, but honestly, I am really not enjoying it right now.

    I get so frustrated when he cries and pulls off my breast, fusses for his fussy period and other times when I can't figure out what is wrong. I think it is the added stress of a 2 year old literally hanging on me and demanding my attention all the time.

    I know everyone tells me to "not worry about the house!"--but, I'm the one stuck here all day long with the clutter and dirty dishes!


    When does it start to get better?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    271

    Default Re: feeling overwhelmed

    Don't worry - it will get better - probably very soon! Please hang in there. Is it possible for you to get someone (MIL, etc) to maybe help you get the housework done? My MIL moved in with us for a week after my DS was born. It really made things easier to know that someone was cooking and cleaning and I could just look after my newborn. Good luck!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    106

    Default Re: feeling overwhelmed

    Believe me, you are not alone!! Rumor has it that going from one child to two children is the most difficult step! But rest assured that it will get easier. Try to recruit any help you can get (I know that my mom and my MIL really helped out a lot, and I definitely relied more upon DH than ever before). And just remember that the time goes by very fast now (though right now, today, it may seem like they'll be little and reliant on you forever!). You can do it- take it from a mom of 3 girls (4, 2, and 8 weeks!).

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    10

    Smile Re: feeling overwhelmed

    I know how you feel. My 4 and 5 year olds are a year and 16 days apart. I won't lie to you. It was tough, but you're not alone. I also know what you mean by the house too. I'm a total clean freak, but you HAVE to let somethings go. Just TRY so hard to turn a blind eye to somethings, even if it means litraly talking to yourself outloud to leave it alone. It sounds crazy, but it worked for me, and now that time has past things are calmer. Things will get better, just hang in there, and despite everything, try to enjoy the moments whenever possible. Good luck.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    8,591

    Default Re: feeling overwhelmed

    You are way over half way there! Usually the hard part is 6-8 weeks after birth, and then it miraculously seems to get better. I am expecting another in 3 months, and very nervous about how it all will go, but the house seriously can wait for a few more weeks. I second the motion to try to find someone to help..either by taking the toddler to the park while you tidy up (and by tidy, I mean do the necessary things, like dishes), or helping out with the dishes and cooking.

    It does get better!

    Erin
    Wife to a grizzly
    Mama to my little deer (12/05) my loving bear cub (9/07--), and our little tiger (3/22/10)
    Born by one c-section and 2 amazing VBACs


    Miles in 2012: 350.5/900 (Actual Miles Ran: 189)
    Miles in 2011: 708.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 509)
    Miles in 2010: 800.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 620)

    January Miles: 37.5/75
    February Miles: 59/75
    March Miles: 42.5/60
    April Miles: 64
    May Miles: 41/70
    June Miles: 59
    July Miles: 39.5

    227.5 miles on my new shoes
    338 miles on my old shoes

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: feeling overwhelmed

    It WILL get better, in the very near future.

    BTDT. I have a two year old, almost three, and a 7 month old. I was really lucky in that I had help at home for the first 6 weeks, but then I was on my own with the two kids. I didn't have the complication of needing to pump too. Wow.

    When you are with both kids, is there any way you can sling carry the baby and then at least do dishes/laundry/stuff that absolutely has to be done and sit and play with your toddler? I did that a lot when my baby was a newborn, and I tell you, it was easier then than it is now with a crawler and a toddler to get the chores done -- now I end up supervising all the time (but it's still less demanding than those first few weeks).

    Delegate cleaning some clutter. Your two year old can pick up her own toys with help from your DH in the evening, for example. We stopped folding clothes (so if you see me, you know why my clothing is all wrinkly!).

    Also, I find that the hanging on me by two little people all the time very draining. When you can, do something for yourself, even if it's just a few minutes, like using a nice body scrub in the shower or something. Recharge yourself as you go, and it really does help.

    I was told going from two to three is really hard
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    84

    Default Re: feeling overwhelmed

    I can also relate. I have a 5 year old and a 6 week old. The first 5 weeks were very difficult for all of us, but it has been getting better. Do you have a swing for your lo? I have found ours to be very helpful. Just remember that you're not alone. As my husband says 1 is 1, 2 is 20!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    66

    Default Re: feeling overwhelmed

    Thank you everyone!!! I really needed to read some supportive posts today! I'm hanging in there--and my husband is really helpful. I can do it, as long as I know that it will get better.

    And God Bless you mamas with more than 2--I am impressed!

    I think my lo is going through a growth spurt, which is adding to his usual nursing every 2 hours.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    1,987

    Default Re: feeling overwhelmed

    The rewards do come, but it sometimes takes a while. I was in pain every time I nursed for the first three months (b/c of tongue tie that wasn't fixed until 9 weeks). I was to the point of dreading every feeding and being on edge until each one was done. Eventually, bfing became an enjoyable experience most of the time and I'm very thankful I stuck it out. It many ways, it makes mothering easier, but it does take some time to get used to. Hang in there! If you haven't already, I'd encourage you to check out your local LLL group if you have one.

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