I really feel for you. You are going through so much right now. Firstly though, even though it is hard, try to keep in mind that your dd is not rejecting you as a mama, she is just not feeling "right" about something and it is hard to figure out what that something is since she is only 9mos. You mentioned in the first post that your LC recommended this forum. Is she still available to you? Can she help you any further? Or do you have a LLL group nearby? Could you talk to a leader personally?
Also, is it possible for you to completely clear your schedule for the next couple of days to just "be close" to your dd and try to work this out? You've already mentioned that she only seems to nurse when she's tired and half asleep, so definitely take advantage of that. Could you sleep next to her while she's napping/sleeping so that if she seems to rouse just slightly you could offer her the breast?
Hang in there.