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Thread: Im tired and feel like giving up at times

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
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    18

    Default Im tired and feel like giving up at times

    Things nursing wise are good, she doesnt have to many troubles latching on...... my trouble is after a feeding. Unless she is at my boob she is NOT HAPPY she will even fall asleep fall off and ill hod her but the minute i place her down she screams..... im at my wits end, i have to let her scream in order to help my oder son...get myself ANYTHING to eat at all..... feed my family and shower etc. last night she was soo fussy i had no choice but to leave her in her swing to scream it out til she fell asleep. and she had nursed last night from 730pm to 11pm when i was so tired of nursing that i warmed up EBM in a bottle just to give my nipples a break. she hasnt really slept but once today and that was in the swing..... im losing my mind, all she wants to do is eat. who wont take a pacifer..... i just feel like she is alway unhappy, very few moments when she is awake and happy, help?? thought?? anything?? I dont want to cave and quit Bfing when it was something i had wanted to do for so long, but something needs to give!!! she is one month old today..............

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    290

    Default Re: Im tired and feel like giving up at times

    Wendy,

    It sounds like your entire family is trying to adjust to another baby in the house! I was just getting ready to go to bed, but I wanted to send you a quick message suggesting a baby sling. I could not have survived baby #2 without it! Keeping her in the sling helped her sleep longer and I was able to get some things done, even if it was just a meal! Many babies love being close to mom, but don't understand we have other children's needs to care for as well. You can also nurse in a sling while keeping your hands free to do other things. A sling can really be a sanity saver for times like this.

    Also, I'm going to post a link to Dr. Sears' website. He has a lot of practical tips for dealing with fussy babies (and what baby doesn't fuss at some point or another!). I hope this helps, and that you get some more replies in the meantime. Sorry I had to keep this so short, but I'm already up way to late tonight!

    http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T051200.asp
    Tanya, LLL Leader and Mama to three wonderful kids

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    47

    Default Re: Im tired and feel like giving up at times

    I don't really have any professional advise, but I can share my expereince (and opinion) with you. Breastfeeding was very hard for me in the beginning, if it wasn't for my husband encouraging me, I probably would have given up! Kaylee, my daughter took ALL of my time! I couldn't believe how extremely time consuming bfing was. But for me, after about three months it go so much easier. She still nurses for comfort big time, but it is not 24/7. She is now 7 months old....... and very very healthy, I might add. She has only been sick once, a slight cold from her dad, and that was yesterday.... and she is perfectly fine today!! I find that when I was feeling discouraged about bfing, that if I reveiw all the WONDERFUL benifets - physical and emotonal - for baby and for you, then I would feel energized to keep on going.

    So my opinion is this: Breastfeeding is NOT easy, in fact sometimes it is very hard and exhasting, but our perfect little babies are more than worth it! Not only that, but it DOES get easier, and if you keep going, you will look back and be so thankful you kept going. I know I am, bc I was so close to giving up, but I am so glad I didn't. Continue to seek advise, whenever you feel like giving up! I am sure some of the other ladies on here will give you some good ideas on what you can do.

    Be encouraged!! I was there, and it does get easier! Also, I think your baby might have a strong need for your closeness and to suck, that my be why it's all the time!

    Blessings,

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    135

    Default Re: Im tired and feel like giving up at times

    I'm sorry you are having such a rough time!

    Like Tanya, I think you urgently need a sling. Most things that need to be done can be done with baby in the sling. For the others, you need to find ways that suit both you and baby. For example, I always have an audience when I shower: My baby and my toddler both sit in bouncy chairs and watch, and I sing to them, make silly faces etc. Even when you have to put baby down, you can keep her close by and at least talk and sing to her when she gets upset.

    You also need some support. When I had my second baby, I arranged for my parents to stay with us during the second month, because I remembered that being the toughest with my first. While nobody else can feed baby, others can change and cuddle baby, entertain your older child and help round the house. Do you have any relatives or friends who you could rope in to help? If not, you might want to consider getting payed help. I haven't done this myself, but it is often suggested to have a local teenager to come and play with your older child or help in the house. Or maybe Dad could take a few days off work to give you a hand?

    I reckon you have another two or three months to get through before your baby will become more interested in other things, i.e. toys, and then life should become easier for you. Meanwhile, only do the bare minimum of chores, let the ironing pile up, eat fruit and cereal and yoghurt during the day (or chocolate ) and very simple family meals in the evening (big pot of soup, big bowl of pasta salad, big dish of Shepherd's Pie etc can all do for two days, saving you having to cook every day).

    Best of luck and fingers crossed that your baby will become more settled soon!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    1,168

    Default Re: Im tired and feel like giving up at times

    Some more encouragement here -- it sounds to me like you are doing a really fantastic job, both at the breastfeeding and the mothering of both your children. The adjustment to two is HUGE.

    Try to remember that a formula-fed baby may also scream every time she is put down. I second (3rd?) the suggestion to use a sling or other baby carrier; it sounds as if what you really need is another free hand and less screaming from baby, and some way to wear her as you go about your other tasks would meet both those needs.

    I'm sure some sleep will help, too! I know it's hard with 2 little ones, but can you nap when baby naps, no matter what else needs to be done? Do you have any adult help at all?

    Hang in there!

    --Rebecca

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    18

    Default Re: Im tired and feel like giving up at times

    Thanks alot for your advice!! It is what will keep me going im sure. Here we have a locla breastfeeding support group on mondays, as of right now i cant wait to go and ask the LC questions and weigh my baby..... but we are in the process of moving in the next few months and im hoping this site will be my lifeline caue im not sure what will be available where we are going.
    I try to nap when she naps, but its not always possible. My oldest luckily is 5 1/2 but i feel like i have neglected him. I have tried to make easy meals and let some things go but i cant let everything go because we are putting out house on the market by may 1st and i have to keep the house as clean as possible.also when she naps it my time to shower and get dressed...or even eat~finding time for me to eat has been hard,or really late..im going to buy a cheap sling on ebay just to see if i like it and if it helps, i have a baby snugli and i put her in it but she hated it, so who knows...she has a strong rooting reflex all she wants is my boob..LoL thank you so much for taking the time to asnwer my question and for helping me to keep going.. I think my baby is a fighter, meaning after feeding her on both sides for tota 40 mins it still took her fussing for an hour before she crashed to sleep, sounds mean to let her cry but i was at my wits end. I swaddled, i played music etc, anyways i got some sleep lat night once she setled down.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    290

    Default Re: Im tired and feel like giving up at times

    Many babies will prefer a sling over the front pack style carriers because they can ball their legs up inside a sling. In the front carriers, their legs are often left loosely hanging when all a newborn wants is to be curled in a ball, womb-like. A sling without padding can be tightened as much or as little as you both prefer. Although, some people love padded slings! It really is an individual preference. If you buy a ring sling, and it does not come with a video, www.mayawrap.com has their video online to help you learn to use it. There's definitely a small learning curve, so don't give up the first try. Once you get the baby inside, move around if she fusses.

    Also, another thing many moms use to soothe babies when nothing else will work is a warm bath. If you can, climb in the tub together and most likely it will relax you both a bit.

    Not only is your family adjusting to a new baby, but you are also planning a move! That's stressful enough on it's own! I moved about eight months ago to another state, and one thing that helped me keep the house clean for showings was to pack the kids' toys first. I left out a small amount to play with, and it significantly cut the clutter. We had a basket handy for a quick pick up for showings. We also cleared out any unnecessary items from counters and shelves. It was less to dust or clean around and made it feel more open to the buyers. There's lots of tips online for busy families showing a house.
    Tanya, LLL Leader and Mama to three wonderful kids

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    63

    Default Re: Im tired and feel like giving up at times

    I don't have much advice, but I wanted to let you know that you aren't alone. I have a 4 1/2 yr old and a 4 month old, and I feel like I could have written parts of your post. Thank God we aren't selling a house, though we are moving to another apartment over the next month. Wish I could give you helpful suggestions, but I'm reading your post for ideas for myself...

    One website I've been checking out is www.thebabywearer.com. There's lots of info (and a forum) about using a sling, different types of slings, and different options if you have shoulder/back issues. I'm trying a couple of two-shoulder carriers in hopes of distributing weight, and possibly learning to carry ds on my back like some traditional cultures (Korean, South American Indian, etc.) because I really need both hands free once in a while to do the dishes unless we plan on packing them dirty. Of course, ds can't nurse on my back...I think the slings look the best for that. I'm hoping I can get to a LLL meeting to see what other moms use.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    284

    Default Re: Im tired and feel like giving up at times

    I am also having the same problem, my son is 5 weeks now and he is a sleepy nurser (but getting better) but he also will not sleep during the day or night unless he is nursing. So I eliminated drinking caffinated coffee and the hazlenut creamer and any goodies like icecream, cookies, etc. and there's a big difference. He's alot less fussy so far. I hope that helps, I know how you feel! Here's a link that I found helpful, it explains different allergic reactions when breastfeeding in babies.

    http://www.babycenter.com/general/po...on&bus=content

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    290

    Default Re: Im tired and feel like giving up at times

    Most mothers can eat whatever they like without any noticeable differences in the baby. Families with a history of allergies are more likely to see the foods mother eats affect the baby. LLLI has a very good FAQ on this topic:
    http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/avoid.html

    If you think you need to examine the food allergy issue, then the list of foods in the link the pp listed might be helpful. The number one offender for babies is dairy, and is a good place to start. That said, babies are typically fussy and gassy the first 3-4 months no matter what mom eats or eliminates from her diet. Their digestive systems are still quite immature until then and their abdominal muscles are not developed well enough yet to help push gas along when it occurs.
    Tanya, LLL Leader and Mama to three wonderful kids

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