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Thread: HELP: 24 weeks pregnant and need to find a job...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    32

    Default HELP: 24 weeks pregnant and need to find a job...

    The short version of the story is this: My husband suffers from clinical depression. Most of the time he is okay, but then when he has his episodes, he either quites/loses/just stops going to work. We only have one car and after this last episode I made a firm decision that I need to be the one to work. I don't want to. I'd rather be the SAHM and take care of our pre-schooler and soon to be infant, but it doesn't seem realistic after the last 2 episodes. He insists that its the job that sets off his depression, but I really feel that the depression is keeping him from holding a job.

    I send out a lot of resumes for clerical work and the only thing I got back was an offer from an attendant healthcare company that provides home care to handicapped people. I accepted it then my husband got a job interview. They told him they would call him back but its been 3-4 days already. I asked my husband how he planned on getting to work if I had the car. He said that he would need the car if he got this job since his job would be FT and more money and benifits. That is true and I understand that he would have the better job and it would be in both our interests for him to work and me to stay home with Brodie and the baby but I'm so scared of him loosing his job again (we've been through 4 jobs in 8 years). I'm also scared that no one will hire me while i'm this pregnant except for this attendant postion. They know I'm pregnant and accept that I will be taking time off work when the baby is born. They also expect me to return after. I still want to breastfeed and give my baby the best start possible like I did with my 2 year old (he still nurses occationally)

    So I accept the job and I fill out the paperwork tomorrow. My husband hasn't been offered a job yet. So what happens if next week he gets that job, do I tell my job that I no longer have a car? Part of my job is to drive my charge to work and take him grocery shopping. He is supposed to stay out of the sun and part of my reason for being hired was reliable transportation. Do I speak with my agency about my concerns or do I just wait to see what happens so that I don't worry them? I also feel bad about accepting the job b/c I am still looking for something more steady and where I will have my weekends free. they said that they didn't want to train me only to have to find someone else. I don't want to leave them hanging, but its the only job i've been offered, and I'll stay with it as long as I can. I plan on putting all I can into the job. I'm not just doing it to do it...I really do care about people in my care. *sigh* Can anyone else share experiences with me or give me some suggestions.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Gex France
    Posts
    213

    Default Re: HELP: 24 weeks pregnant and need to find a job...

    FIrst off you don't have to tell any job you are pg. I was in the same position. I had to move to another state when I was 4 and a half months. I had interview and then when I got offered the job I told them I would love it but I wanted them to know that I was pg. This way they can not say oh nevermind then b/.c it would be discrimination. Do you live anywhere with public transportation?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    18,063

    Default Re: HELP: 24 weeks pregnant and need to find a job...

    I think I would start working and then maybe if hubby gets the job you will have to quit, but if he doesn't even have an offer at least you would be working. Who is gonig to keep your toddler when you work?
    ARe there any programs that would help like food stamps or something?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    1,307

    Default Re: HELP: 24 weeks pregnant and need to find a job...

    Is there any good public transportation where you are? You could tell your husband he has to take the bus until he is sure that he will keep this job longterm if he gets it.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Gex France
    Posts
    213

    Default Re: HELP: 24 weeks pregnant and need to find a job...

    Also is your husband in some kind of treatment ( therapy, meds, supplememnts)? This may help him through a depressive cycle without quitting his job. Also if the depression is interfering with his means of making a living, then he should be eligible for social security assistance.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    515

    Default Re: HELP: 24 weeks pregnant and need to find a job...

    We've been through a similar situation. I am not normally a fan of pharmaceuticals, but they have done wonders for my DH.

    Maybe your husband could look into work from home jobs that are low-pressure and have no commute?


  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    32

    Default Re: HELP: 24 weeks pregnant and need to find a job...

    Thank you everyone. It is good advice. The only problem is that I can't take public transit b/c part of my new job includes using my transportation to drive my client around. He can't be in the sun too long b/c he could have seizures. My husband did get offered that job today (pending the results of his drug test, which I'm sure will be clean). and its pretty far away, but it will be a bigger raise than his last job. I am excited for him...I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. He usually has episodes of depression when big things change in his life. I worry that it'll happen when the baby is born. I know its silly to worry, but you have to understand that there is a distinct pattern in our past. When we got married, he was so upset he didn't speak to me for 3 days, Right before Brodie was born he lost his job. Last fall he got demoted and spiraled into an episode. I really worry about it. Hence the reason I can't just sit back and relax even now that he has a job.

    He says that I may be able to use his moms car for a month if I drop her off and pick her up from work, then we can look at getting the vehicle we always wanted. I guess I'm just going to see how this works out. I train on tues and friday next week for my new job ( I took the attendant job) and he starts around the same time. Thankyou for all replying.

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