I was the same as you. It will get better. Definately get with a lactation consultant or La Leche League Leader in your area. It worked wonders for me.
The one suggestion I have for you is to try those silicone burn pads on your nipples. my LC suggested that and it was a god send. You can keep them on until they get warm, all day long, you don't have to worry about chemicals or anything going to the baby either.
The lanolin also was a must for me. i put it on as soon as I was finished nursing. And if DS wanted to nurse five minutes later, he could.
And I don't know if you (when you are in the shower) are avoiding using soap on your nipples, but that's a must. The soap will dry them out and irritate. You should only be using water to rinse them and then if you want, you can express a little BM and rub it in (my grandma suggested this) and it helps keep your nipples supple. And letting them air dry really helps too. Especially during this sweaty time of year.
So to review:
Lanolin ( a must )
scar patches (feel so cooling)
no soap in the shower or at all on the nipples
and let those girls breathe
Hang in there.
You are doing such a wonderful thing for your baby and for you. And you should be very very proud of yourself.
WAY TO GO MAMA!