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Thread: back to work worries

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    629

    Default back to work worries

    I am probably worrying about this too soon, but I can't seem to stop thinking about it!

    I go back in 4 1/2 mo...ds will be 12 mo by then.

    I work 12 1/2 hr shifts..day and night and am hoping to reduce my shifts to two per week.

    Dh works 12 hrs mon - fri (usually home around 18:30)

    I have visited a local day care..near to work and home...and have provisionally booked a start date.

    I feel really unhappy and anxious about putting dh into care, as he has never been cared for anyone else for more than a couple of hours in his life.

    On week days my mum can collect ds between 16:30 and 17:30 but that still means 9-10 hrs in care during the day. It is such a long time!

    During weekends there is no problem as dh is usually off..and even if he does work sat, it is usually only until lunch time..my mum is off at weekends too.

    I intend to BF as long as ds wants...but how will this work during the days he is in daycare...should I start introducing sippy cups with bm?...he hates bottles....I can't leave work to feed him during the day..so I will need to pump at work. Should I encourage more solids...currently having once per day when interested...

    I read through the day care's info pack today and it talks about sending in your childs formula...nothing about BM...I will need to speak to them about providing bm...and if they have storage, (i'm sure they will)...and what their attitude is towards bm?

    As you can tell from this post...my head is mince just now...I am driving myself and dh demented.

    dh thinks there is no problem with putting ds in care for full days twice per week...he just expects that everything will be fine.

    am I crazy?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    18,063

    Default Re: back to work worries

    hubbies just cann't understand sometimes!
    Feal free to talk anything out with us, we will listen.
    what kind of work do you do?
    I don't have any good advice other then you have to do what you think is best for your family.
    Baby will do fine in day care he'll get adjusted to it! it might take a while.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    987

    Default Re: back to work worries

    You are not crazy! I understand your worries. I have to return to school for 6 weeks when DD is only 7 mos! It is already breaking my heart. My DH doesn't see a problem with daycare either. I don't think he understands how hard it will be for me to leave my baby (even if it is with grandma).

    You are fortunate if you can only leave DS 2 days a week. That's great!

    Could you find someone to watch him in their home? In the US that is less expensive than daycare and more personal for the babies too.

    Don't let your head turn to mince! Enjoy the rest of the time you have off work! Don't waste that time worrying about working!

    (Not related: Scotland is DHs favorite country. He is frequently in Edinburgh. I was frequently in Edinburgh until DD came along. I miss M&S.)

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    629

    Default Re: back to work worries

    I am a nurse in a local hospital

    I am arranging a back to work meeting with my ward manager to discuss cutting down on my hours and different work patterns...need to wait and see what options she comes up with...also need to tell her I will require pumping breaks,(not a problem as it is a national policy).

    I spoke with my SIL, (day care nurse) to find out about the staff expectation of a 12mo old......

    They expect 12mo to be on solids with snacks...possibly one milk feed in the afternoon...but should be well on the way to weaning!!!!

    I told her that ds would be bf until he decides to stop.....yes ladies...he will be having "bitty" on his wedding day

    She told me that day care policy is to encourage bf...they have to provide nursing facilities for mums who want to come in to feed thier lo's...and they have facilities for bm storage.

    What upsets me most is that I will hardly see ds during the days I work. I will drop him off at 07:00...but by the time I get home at 20:30..he will be in bed!

    I don't want to confuse ds...so as he will be using sippy cups...I hope..instead of bf....should I keep doing that on my days off...or do you think he would be happy to go between the two??????
    Last edited by tracy scotland; June 20th, 2007 at 09:30 AM.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    18,063

    Default Re: back to work worries

    I sure would just breastfeed when you are together!
    Thats a great thing for mom and for toddler.
    LEt us know more when you get your house and such.
    12 hours shifts are the pits but if you only have to do 2 of them thats beter then 3 short days.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    59

    Default Re: back to work worries

    Maybe I can help a little. My dd was in daycare from 9 weeks on. I teach, so she was off the summer months (10months-12months) and then back to daycare at 13 months.

    First, do what is best for you and your child. Yes, most if not all of the kids were weaned by the time my DD went back to daycare at 13 months, but my dd wasn't. My dd who is 23 months now just weaned herself at 21 1/2 months. Also, my dd was not a "good eater" as far as solids are concerned when she returned to daycare, but it is amazing what leaps and bounds they take that second year of life, now she is a pro.

    Here is what we did: When dd returned to daycare at 13 months, she was still nursing, morning, naps and night with some times during the day. We began by sending 2 bottles, one that was smaller than the other. I intended for one to be at naptime and one whenever she seemed she needed it. Again, the other kiddos were weaned, but my daycare ladies were willing to do it b/c I pay for my child to go there. (that gives you a lot of rights, plus it is YOUR kid) My dd really only took one bottle and we continued with that along with solids that I sent in. My dd would only eat certain foods. My daycare does provide lunches and snacks and our opinion was that they could offer their food and if dd wasn't interested, then we had a back up. We really eased into this whole process. DD dropped the bottle at daycare around 15 1/2 months and then she began to eat better at daycare around 18 months. Now at 23 months, we do not provide anything except an alternative snack on days they serve something we don't want her to have. When my dd weaned from the bottle, she still nursed at morning and night with me and sometimes during the day, gradually, she went to just at bedtime.


    It is normal to worry and have anxieties. I remember I spent my entire maternity leave counting down to the dreadful day that I would have to go back to work. It is an adjustment. What I have found is that my dd has really done well at the place we picked. She loves her teachers and the small group she is with. You should see if your center allows you to do drop in times. Mine does, you can drop your child off for a couple of hours, giving them some transition time into the new environment. This might help you too. Going back is hard, you need to allow yourself sometime to figure out what works, don't expect to know all the answers now and don't give in to what people say if your heart isn't agreeing! Good luck.

    Megan

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    1,307

    Default Re: back to work worries

    I know how stressed you are. We put DD in daycare when she was 6 months. It took a few weeks to adjust, but now she is doing fine. She has been there for a month and a half now. I do not know what BF policies are since you are in another country. Here, they do give lots of instructions for FF because that is what most moms do. However, when I mentioned I was BF they then gave me info on their procedures for that. I think they just automatically assume FF but will probably have BF protocals too. My DD was experiencing stranger anxiety earlier than normal according to my ped. So, if your lo is anything like mine was, I would strongly recommend introducing your lo to the daycare environment earlier on. My DH or I took DD to the daycare every day the week before she started and stayed there and played with her so she would get used to it before we left her there on her own. This helped a lot. Although, she still cried when we left (and still does) she stops after a couple of minutes. One of her daycare workers leaves at noon, and she said now my DD cries when she leaves for the day too!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    1,421

    Default Re: back to work worries

    I had to put my son in day care at 6 weeks. It is hard, I wont lie, but if you find a place you feel comfortable with, people you like and respect, that makes it easier. You LO will get used to it, and probably like it after a while. I feel that it has made the time I get with him better (not that SAHMs time is wonderful, I mean no disrespect) and it is even easy to wake up 3 times a night because that it my time with him. I hope you find the encouragement you need here from us
    Danielle

    Mom to Gage 12/28/06

    Wife to Trinity 6/21/03 my best friend

    ed for year, finally done!!!!
    for more than a year now!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    629

    Default Re: back to work worries

    thanks for all your replies ladies.

    I'm sure things will work out fine...I will miss ds, but I am hoping that he will start to enjoy the time away. Once I have had my meeting with the ward manager and spoken to the day care..I will speak to some of my extended family about caring for ds...to cut down the hours in day care.

    I will just need to wait and see

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