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Thread: my mother-in-law...

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    138

    Default Re: my mother-in-law...

    Okay I've definitely been in this boat too - no one has blamed it on the breastfeeding yet, but I'm sure that's coming. DD is 7 mos. old and I've started to hear things like "oh, you'll get tired of bf soon," or, "I just picked up this bottle for her because you won't be bf forever." I'm not sure it's mean spirited, but just my mom and mil didn't make it past 4-6 mos. with each child so they just think it's natural to stop right about now.
    I am young (okay, not super young), so I don't have many friends my age with kids, but one of my good friends has been a nanny for many years. She keeps telling me that kids who are AP'd are a pain in the behind to watch and are spoiled. I just smile and ignore it - she just may change her mind when the kids are her own.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    242

    Default Re: my mother-in-law...

    Yesterday not only did my MIL not give my baby the milk, but she left it in the car...its 90 out here. She told me its time for the baby to wean anyway. I have a supply problem and worked hard for that milk. And who the heck is she to tell me its time to wean MY DAUGHTER.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
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    1,813

    Default Re: my mother-in-law...

    Quote Originally Posted by Hbsmomma
    My neighbor asked me "don't you want your body to be yours again", My response "they already own my heart...once one more piece of my body"?
    That's right my body is mine, and I decide what to do with it!!! Who are this people to tell us what to do!
    Hbsmomma: My sympathy to you. I can believe what kind of MIL you count with. If she can respect a simple wish for the welfare of her GD, I wonder what other things she's capable of doing later on. Who's she to decide when your daughter should be wean, that's YOUR decision ONLY!! I"m sorry but I wouldn't trust her with my babies!

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    1,168

    Default Re: my mother-in-law...

    She left your EBM in a hot car??

    O.M.G.

    How infuriating. I would have lost my mind at her.

    I hope you can revoke her babysitting privileges! I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.

    --Rebecca

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    190

    Default Re: my mother-in-law...

    I'm pretty lucky. My mom didn't breastfeed for more then 3 months with all of us kids, and when she came to stay with me after the baby was born she realized all the mistakes she made (nipple confusion, for one). She also thinks, now in hindsight, that I had reflux, which was one reason she switched to bottlefeeding me. She was gracious enough to point out that the difference in education from then to now is so huge, that it's no wonder a lot of babies back then ended up formula fed. She's my biggest fan right now, and she's always encouraging me. In fact, she reads information about breastfeeding in magazines and stuff and SHE calls ME to tell me!

    My MIL is pretty good too. I haven't recieved any comments, but she doesn't always follow instructions very well (like no pacifiers). But after reading this post, it could be worse. I have to say hat's off to all you Moms who are able to be diplomatic. I went on a rampage when I found DD with a pacifier in her mouth, that I don't think I could handle what you all handle. (I sort of have a big mouth.. lol).

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    863

    Default Re: my mother-in-law...

    It's nice to know I'm not alone. My MIL is generally a wonderful grandmother and though she's often commented she wished she could "give him a bottle" she made the effort to be supportive in the beginning by buying me a pump. It's a good thing she lives 3000 miles away though, or I think it'd be worse. Now that we're past the one year point I know she's made comments to other family members, including my husband, about me weaning. His response? "I think he'll be weaned by the time he leaves for college." hahahaha- thanks hubby! She is also very concerned about the co-sleeping as well, but like bf, she hasn't said anything directly to me in a while. She knows she won't change my mind, so she doesn't bother. She does role her eyes whenever there is talk of a 2 or 3 year old nursing or when I nip, but that's her problem not mine. My mom bf us until we weaned on our own- my sis until 3, me until 2, my bro until 2- and she knows this so I think she is really trying hard to bite her tongue. On her most recent trip out here, her big thing was to buy him real shoes. She thinks the soft soled shoes he wears are ugly and says the leather ones help the child balance. After all, her sons and other grandchild wore them and it helped them walk so much quicker ! She told me she doesn't understand the reasoning I gave when I told her I want him to develop the muscles to balance without artificial support. I didn't mention that her sons all have really bad joint problems-- though I can't decide if it was the cereal and whole milk at 3 weeks old {but--oh they were sleeping through the night at 3 weeks } or the hard soled shoes . Why does she care so much what he wears on his feet???

    I think another poster called it-- it's a control thing in some cases and a jealousy thing in others. I have to believe that most act this way because they love the child and want what they think is best for them (though I find it very selfish to want someone to wean because YOU want to feed the child). I usually try to ignore it and act silently confident in my parenting. The best response for me is, "well, I'm sure different families have different ways of doing things. This works for us." That usually shuts them up.
    Kristie L.
    LLL Leader
    (the poster formerly known as fezzik812)
    Wife to Brett, Mommy to Seamus (5.1.05), and Emelie (1.18.08)
    "You must be the change you wish to see in the world."- Ghandi

  7. #17
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    20

    Default Re: my mother-in-law...

    Maybe I'm crazy, but I've been breastfeeding for 4 years so far and I have never felt like I've lost my body or identity or anything. For me it has been the most normal thing in the world.

  8. #18

    Default Re: my mother-in-law...

    Quote Originally Posted by Amyruth
    Maybe I'm crazy, but I've been breastfeeding for 4 years so far and I have never felt like I've lost my body or identity or anything. For me it has been the most normal thing in the world.
    Agreed, if anythign bf has helped my find my identity asa parent. It seems to integral to everything else I believe. Some of my girlfriends that act like I am such a martyr for bfing, I try to tell them that waking up all night and heating bottles sounds like a much tougher job to me, at 2.5 months dd could help her self at the all night buffet while I snoozed! I guess it is all about how you view being a parent, I don't think about it as an action, but as something I have evolved in to being.
    Mother to Emily June, b. Sept 18, 2005 and Lucy Quinn, b. 1/20/2012

    “Buy the ticket, take the ride."
    Hunter S. Thompson

    Excitement on the Side: Who doesn't love a confident woman with long boobs...

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    25

    Default Re: my mother-in-law...

    Quote Originally Posted by Lexi'sMama
    , but one of my good friends has been a nanny for many years. She keeps telling me that kids who are AP'd are a pain in the behind to watch and are spoiled. I just smile and ignore it - she just may change her mind when the kids are her own.
    Well, your friend-the-nanny babysits for kids who are not really AP'd. I mean, is she watching infants? By definition, if they are with a nanny they are not with their mother, so they are not truly attatchment parenting now, are they? Being spoiled is not related to parenting style, unless your parenting style is 'let them run wild'

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    44

    Default Re: my mother-in-law...

    reading all these posts makes me thankful that my MIL lives in Dubai! although she's pretty good about it anyways.

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