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Thread: Feeling weird about nursing my 17 month

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2006

    Default Feeling weird about nursing my 17 month

    Hi ,
    I have a hard time telling other ppl that we are still nursing.We were looking for nanny share and went to couple of places to check there.I was talking to one of the moms and somehow the conversation went to sleeping through night and I told her I will nurse her back so it will be job of 5 minutes.When I said that I kind of felt weird telling her that I nurse my almost 17 month old DD.When we nurse I dont feel any different but when talking to people I kind of feel I'm doing something in-correct .I'm not sure whether I have phrased my feelings properly just felt like sharing this.

    Last week my MIL said I'm making my DD dependent on me still nursing.And we had some heated argument with her.And I kind of feel I need reassurance that there is nothing wrong in nursing my 17 month old. And to support her argument she even asked my SIL who is a doctor to speak to me regarding this.I don't know whether my feelings changed after I spoke to these people...

    I want to change myself and feel good about saying to others that I nurse my DD.
    Thanks for listening

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006

    Default Re: Feeling weird about nursing my 17 month

    sorry you had a fight with mil that stinks.
    After all shes your baby and not mil, Ive already told my mil
    Look you raised your kids, and I am going to raise mine the way I feal is fit.
    I don't think your weird for nursing a 17 month old if that makes you feal any beter.

    To quote Dr. William Sears, "There is no set number of years you should nurse your baby." If you and your child enjoy breastfeeding, there is no reason you need to stop. Both of you will continue to benefit from breastfeeding as long as you like. Many mothers choose to wean naturally, allowing the child to outgrow the need gradually, in his own time

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Not around here as much :(

    Default Re: Feeling weird about nursing my 17 month

    You're feelings only changed because they 'made' you feel what you're doing is wrong. You know it's not a detriment to your dd, to still nurse her. I know you know that. Phooey on them for doing that to you. Frankly, you owe no one any explaination/conversation on the subject. If they aren't supportive, and you give them the "it's still so healthy for her because of the security, antibodies, etc" speech, then they don't need any more from you. KWIM? Never feel you have to justify what works for your family. MIL or not.

    mama - you're doing great!!!
    Click here to find an LLL leader near you...or call 1 877 4 LA LECHE for help now.

    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
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    Ban the bags. ......... Watch your language. ....... Help keep Dr Newman's clinic open!

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  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2007

    Default Re: Feeling weird about nursing my 17 month

    agree with pps.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006

    Default Re: Feeling weird about nursing my 17 month

    Mangai, good for you for knowing your daughter's needs and meeting them! It is challenging when others question how we raise our children, especially when they are loved ones who also want the best for our families.

    Some mothers benefit from practicing what they might say when someone confronts them about nursing into toddlerhood. It might be a brief explanation about whatever is most important to you, such as, "My daughter benefits from the nutrition and antibodies passed on in my milk, not to mention the comfort she receives in my arms. I am very comfortable with my decision to nurse her until she is ready to wean. Thank you for asking." Or, it could be a funny comment to deflect the question and change the subject, such as, "I'm sure she will wean by the time she is old enough for college."

    Sometimes being confident about a decision shows to others. Mothering Your Nursing Toddler by Norma Jane Bumgarner is an excellent book about all facets of breastfeeding a child past infancy. I know I enjoyed it when my first child was a toddler. It is available in many LLL Group Libraries, or your local library may be able to get it through interlibrary loan. It's also for sale in the LLLI Store and you can read its description there: http://store.llli.org/public/profile/154.

    Many mothers benefit from being around others who are also nursing toddlers. One good way to find them is to attend a LLL Series Meeting. In the U.S. you can find a local Group at http://www.llli.org/WebUS.html. (For other countries follow the link at the top of the page).

    Best of luck. You know your daughter best.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006

    Default Re: Feeling weird about nursing my 17 month

    Quote Originally Posted by mangai View Post
    And to support her argument she even asked my SIL who is a doctor to speak to me regarding this.
    Hi Mangai,
    In addition to the other resources and support you've already received here, you might be interested in seeing these quotes from the American Academy of Pediatrics.

    "Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child."

    "There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer."

    Full text available here:
    POLICY STATEMENTBreastfeeding and the Use of Human Milk


  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2006

    Default Re: Feeling weird about nursing my 17 month

    I know what you mean. My lo who is nearly 21 months still wants to nurse in public or at least check to make sure they're still there. I feel akward and embarrassed about it. I have no desire to wean, but it's hard when you feel like your doing something odd or different. But, I'm certainly not going to let what others think/feel/may be feeling be the deciding factor in such an important decision. I know that I imagine worse thoughts then most people are probably having. That's why these boards are great and real LLL meetings even better.
    Laura, proud vbacing, ecological breastfeeding mommy to four ages 8, 6, 5, and 2. That's Kate nursing her doll, Adam.

    The Seven Standards of ecological breastfeeding: (1) exclusive breasfeeding for the first 6 months (2) pacify baby at your breast (3) don't use bottles and pacifiers (4) co-sleep for night feedings (5) take a nursing nap (6) nurse frequently day and night; avoiding schedules (7) avoid practices that restrict nursing or separates you from your baby. The average return of menstruation for ecological breastfeeding mothers is between 14 and 15 months.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2007

    Default Re: Feeling weird about nursing my 17 month

    I have an 18month old DD and she's still a nursing maniac. I currently work full time (only til the end of the month though...then I'm converting to being a SAHM!!) and she has always nursed right away when I get home in the evening. She "reconnects" and we talk about her day. She tells me all about it in her 18month old language. When I start to feel weird telling people I still nurse I just remind myself that I'm doing the best I can for my kiddo. Attending LLL meetings helps too because then I see I'm not alone. Also going to this site helps. I have received some indirect criticism from my mom when she says things like "are you going to nurse her until she's in school or what?" I just tell her she isn't even two years old yet and there's no rush to make her grow up. Kids today don't even get to be kids! Anyway, i've also been told by a pediatrician (not our normal dr) that I need to stop nursing now because it has no nutritional value after 6 months and it's simply for comfort. WHATEVER!! I told our regular dr about this and he thanked me for informing him of doctors in our area who are "out of date". I'd be proud that you've made it so far nursing!!!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2006

    Default Re: Feeling weird about nursing my 17 month

    Just so you know, I still nurse my almost 15 mos. old youngest son, and I nursed my oldest son until he was 2 years old and self-weaned.

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with continuing to nurse your LO if that's what you both want to do, and I WHOLEHEARTEDLY SUPPORT YOU!!!!

    My personal take on things, is that is totally normal for a baby to be dependant on their mom and dad. It's how they're wired, and its normal and good for them to be dependent, they are babies/toddlers, that's what they're supposed to do. I hear so many people who say they nurse until 12 mos. or so, and then stop because "Sally" needed to grow up and be less dependent on Mom. That makes absolutely no sense to me, because a toddler can't take care of themselves whatsoever.

    In my experience with my own children, when kids are ready to be less dependent on mom and dad, they naturally do that, and nursing hasn't ever been a crutch for either of my children. They get alot of comfort and security from me knowing that I am always available and will always give them sustainance and always love and help them. Nursing is a reminder of that fact whenever they need it, and it has only strengthened my relationship with my boys, even after they were toddlers. They are definitely not overly dependent on me, on the contrary, I believe nursing them until the were much older helped them feel more confident that I would always be there when they needed me, even after they had run off to play.

    FTR, I still nurse DS#2, and plan to continue until he decides he is ready to stop.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2006

    Default Re: Feeling weird about nursing my 17 month

    Thanks for all the responses.I feel better and more confident. I will continue to do it till my DD needs them.
    Thanks all for your support.

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