Happy Mothers Breastfed Babies
Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Co sleeping?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    290

    Default Co sleeping?

    Hello All!

    Just wanted to say first of all how great this forum is, I'm new here.

    I have a question about co sleeping with my four month old son. He is exclusively breastfed and at the start of the night I will put him in the cradle. But when he wakes up a few hours later I will usually end up bringing him back to bed with us for the rest of the night. He still eats about 2 to 3 times a night, and I know that is a lot for a 4 month old. I think it is because he is with me, he mainly uses it for comfort I think. I know that that is one of the great things about breastfeeding is that you don't have to get up in the cold of night and make a bottle - But is he too dependent, am I doing something I'll regret? I love sleeping with my baby and I don't mind him eating like that, I am a stay at home mom and I get plenty of sleep. I just want to do the right thing and I know how many differing opinions there are on the CIO method. I really don't think I could do that. I know I am rambling but I guess I'm wondering what the long terms effects of this behavior will be? Will I have a five year old in the bed with us? I want to consider my DH too, we have time for ourselves now when our ds goes to bed around 7 or 8. I need to make sure I am doing the best for our family. Any insight or experience would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    683

    Default Re: Co sleeping?

    Hi there

    You mentioned that your son, at 4 months old "still" nurses 2-3 times per night and that this is a lot. I actually disagree, lol. Most babies at that age still need to nurse throughout the night. Regardless though, if nursing your baby throughout the night works for you and you like co-sleeping with him then by all means, do what feels right and what works for you! You are in no way making him "too dependent" or "spoiling" him! Your 4 month old should very much be dependent on you -- and should continue to be dependent on you for a very long time. Dependence fosters independence.

    Will you have a 5 year old in bed with you? Maybe. Hard to say. Why not cross that bridge if/when you get there? If it helps, all 3 of my children have co-slept with us and now they're 2, 4 and 6 years old and all of them sleep in their own beds 99% of the time. Sometimes we wake up with 1 or 3 kids in our bed but you know what? That's okay with us

    Do what works for you! It sounds like you are doing a great job and really enjoying your baby, which in my opinion, is what is important. Keep up the great work!
    Last edited by LLLCarol; April 20th, 2006 at 11:34 AM.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    181

    Default Re: Co sleeping?

    I second Carol's post! The right way is the way that feels right to you. Do what your instincts are telling you. My 5.5 months old dd co-sleeps with us and has only just now reduced to one middle of the night nursing, sometimes two. There is no 'wrong' amount of night nursing. Every baby is different. It sounds like you are doing a great job and are comfortable with it. Don't fix what's not 'broken' Keep up the good work!

    Tracy

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    86

    Default Re: Co sleeping?

    if you are ok with things, then, no, there is nothing worng with what you are doing! my 3.5 month old co-sleeper actually does most of his eating overnight, which, yeah, some might say is a bad habit, but it doesn't bother me, heck, it takes less effort to roll over in the night than to feed him in the daytime. go with your gut, mama!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    290

    Default Re: Co sleeping?

    Thank you so much for all your encouragement!

    I feel like what I am doing is the best for my baby, but just about everybody I know is teaching their baby to fall asleep on their own - they sometimes make me feel like I don't know what I'm doing as a new mother. I would miss valuable time with my ds, I feel, not holding, cuddling, and looking into each others eyes as he drifts off to sleep. I just couldn't refuse him when he needs me in the middle of the night by letting him cry. It is so nice to find those who feel the same way and are meeting their childrens' needs. Sometimes I think that people think babies are supposed to be convenient for them and meet the parents needs instead of the other way around.

    Thank you again! As a new mama I am always questioning if what I am doing is right, but like you all said I guess I just need to follow my instincts.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    43

    Default Re: Co sleeping?

    I agree 100%!! I am the proud momma of a 7-yr old, 4-yr old, and 3 1/2 mo old, all of whom slept with us as infants/toddlers. The two older kids now sleep in their own beds and it really wasn't too difficult to transition to that. I completely agree with all the others that what works for you and your family is what is right for you. Keep up the great job!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    35

    Default Re: Co sleeping?

    Hi.

    I absolutely agree with all of the above. I am currently co-sleeping with my 5 month old ds, who nurses approx every 3 hours at night. He also gets a lot of his nutrition during the night, because as he is the youngest of 4, I don't always have all day to sit and nurse him. I really treasure the time alone I have with him during the night without one of his siblings saying "can I hold the baby?".

    On to the more technical side of things... you might like to look at www.askdrsears.com and read about infant sleep patterns, and the benefits of co-sleeping. Once I read all the scientific guf about infant sleep patterns ect I felt much better about the whole night time feeding routine. It also helps to know that they do go into their own bed. My now 2.5 y.o went into her own bed at 18 months and slept all night from the first night. Which was quite handy as the next day I discovered I was pregnant with baby #4.

    Remember to keep listening to yourself and your own instinct as a mother.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    19

    Default Re: Co sleeping?

    My first son co-slept with us until he was sleeping through the night. He is now 2 and we go through our bedtime routine and then turn out the lights. I (or my dh) lay with him for a bit and we talk and how he has his puppy with him and what a big boy he is. When he's ready, which is 10 minutes at the most, he tells us it's ok for us to leave. Now I co-sleep with my 2 month old and am looking into the idea of a sibling bed for when he is older. There is a small matress beside my bed if he wakes up in the night and wants to sleep in our room. Some weeks he won't use it at all. Other times he's on it all night, every night. Do what you think is right. You will NOT regret it.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    863

    Default Re: Co sleeping?

    I find it interesting that Ferber, the man who brought the CIO method to the masses, has recently recanted many of his statements and admitted that his method is not being used the way it is intended and can sometimes even lead to neglect.

    I also like to look at the genetic memory of the baby. Human babies are designed to want to sleep near their parents for many reasons. Back in the times of the cave man, it was not only a matter of easy feeding, it was a matter of safety to have your baby next to you. Your baby knows that you will offer not only food, but protection and love! Isn't it wonderful that we have all these in abundance? Westerners are in the minority from a global perspective in believing that putting your baby in a box in a different room and letting them cry will teach them independence. As far as I'm concerned, it just teaches the baby that he can't rely on his parents to meet his needs.

    If you are looking for some written support regarding co-sleeping, I have found Dr. Sears to be a wonderful source. Whenever my mil engages me in the topic I offer up some of his findings and she is left with little to say. Sears says, "wherever the whole family sleeps best is where the baby should sleep." Sounds good to me! :-)

    BTW... it is very rare for a child to sleep through the night consistantly before at least 8-9 months, often longer. DS is almost a year and still wakes up 2x a night to eat. Thank goodness for co-sleeping other wise I'd be a zombie!!!
    Kristie L.
    LLL Leader
    (the poster formerly known as fezzik812)
    Wife to Brett, Mommy to Seamus (5.1.05), and Emelie (1.18.08)
    "You must be the change you wish to see in the world."- Ghandi

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    135

    Default Re: Co sleeping?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jessie
    Sometimes I think that people think babies are supposed to be convenient for them and meet the parents needs instead of the other way around.
    Yepp! Correctly spotted and analysed. You know, I think it is so sad that people like you, who care for their babies well, are made to feel inadequate by this convenience parenting humbug! You are doing well, and if your child will need you for months and years to come, you will probably not even mind.

    We no longer have a bedroom, but a family dorm. The two-year-old sleeps in her own bed next to Daddy, and the baby is in a sidecar cot next to me. My husband's famous quote on this arrangement is: "I think this is so cool, us and our two babies on either side."

    Baby, BTW, is eight months old and "still" nurses 3 or 4 times a night. I am trying to phase it out gently by using a staged intervention approach. So I don't feed him, if he settles for a cuddle; I don't cuddle, if he settles for holding hands; I don't hold hands, if he settles for my soothing voice. That way, I am trying to get less involved in his night wakings. In a few months time, you might want to try something like that, but at the moment your baby is probably genuinely hungry at night!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •