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Thread: I give up

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    259

    Default Re: I give up

    I just like you to know that you are a very strong person! Your child is blessed to have you as her mama.

    Gabe and Jacob's Nanay

    Gabe born on September 07, 2004

    Jacob born on May 29, 2007

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    9,280

    Default Re: I give up



    It sounds like you are feeling alone in the struggles you're having. Just because your LO is 5 months old, it doesn't mean you can't ask for help. We all deal with new problems that come up in the breastfeeding relationship at various ages. For example, my son has started rolling and biting during nursing. Some people deal with low supply, mastitis, etc. At the LLL meetings you will find a wide age variety of babies. Not just newborns. And the nice thing is, these Mamas have been there, done that and will be able to empathize with you and offer help and guidance. I think what you really need is someone who understands what you're going through.

    Its never too late to contact LLL or an IBCLC for assistance. Even to just watch you nurse and offer a little advise, or to tell you that you're doing great (which you are!!!).

    I am the Mother of a small baby too. And it is HARD when people think big baby = healthy baby. Watch your baby, is she happy? active?

    Lyn
    Lyn
    Nursing the girl with kaleidoscope eyes


    Mama to Daniel (12/3/06) and Lucy Jane (8/28/08)

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    344

    Default Re: I give up

    Thank you all so much for encouragment. Last time I tried to contact a LLL, I was told Kayleigh was to old (she was 7 weeks then) and I should have this figured out.
    I am on Valium because my other 2 kids stress me out, they fight constantly and Mara failed Kindergarten and has to attend summer school. My BIL is kicking us out of our place and we have until July to find a new place and my SIL totally scr*wed us over on a place we seen and liked. Just so much going on. Today from 6am-3pm she was wanting to nurse, I got nothing done at all. I dunno if I am just not getting enough calories in in a day to keep my supply up, I get about 1,000 calories a day in. I think by 3pm I had only consumed 300 calories and was just beyond exhausted. I feel like a giant milk bottle. I have been comming here for advice since she was a month old and I love this site. to everyone and thank you.
    She is always smiling and happy.
    My fear is she is going to be TINY like my son, he is 3 years old and weighs just 26lbs and we have been through h*ll because of it. He was put in Riley hospital for children for a week over his weight, constant tests to rule our any health issues, on going stuff I do not want to go through again. I am mentally exhausted and I am depressed today.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    9,280

    Default Re: I give up

    Quote Originally Posted by PoisonousBlonde_81 View Post
    Thank you all so much for encouragment. Last time I tried to contact a LLL, I was told Kayleigh was to old (she was 7 weeks then) and I should have this figured out.
    I am on Valium because my other 2 kids stress me out, they fight constantly and Mara failed Kindergarten and has to attend summer school. My BIL is kicking us out of our place and we have until July to find a new place and my SIL totally scr*wed us over on a place we seen and liked. Just so much going on. Today from 6am-3pm she was wanting to nurse, I got nothing done at all. I dunno if I am just not getting enough calories in in a day to keep my supply up, I get about 1,000 calories a day in. I think by 3pm I had only consumed 300 calories and was just beyond exhausted. I feel like a giant milk bottle. I have been comming here for advice since she was a month old and I love this site. to everyone and thank you.
    She is always smiling and happy.
    My fear is she is going to be TINY like my son, he is 3 years old and weighs just 26lbs and we have been through h*ll because of it. He was put in Riley hospital for children for a week over his weight, constant tests to rule our any health issues, on going stuff I do not want to go through again. I am mentally exhausted and I am depressed today.

    I am so sorry that whoever you spoke with at LLL told you that. Contact them again and tell them that you really need help.

    It sounds like you are really stressed out and run down. Three kids is enough to do that to anyone, not to mention the issues with you BIL & SIL.

    It is hard to keep the calories up during the day. I found eating lots of small meals instead of 3 large meals was easier for me. Sometimes it was a yogurt and fruit, sometimes a PB&J, etc. I notice a drop in my supply when I don't drink enough water. Are you drinking to thirst?

    Your breastmilk is best for your little baby right now. Try to trust your body to provide for your child. Allow yourself and believe in yourself as a Mommy to give the best for your baby. Its so hard to do when you have a small baby. I struggle too. But I also know that using formula could add more stress: cleaning bottles, making formula, steriziling, not to mention tummy troubles and constipation.

    Is your partner helping you out? Is there anyway you can have an hour to yourself to regroup? Does your baby take a pacifier? What are the wet and dirty diaper counts?

    Have you tried a nice warm bath with baby to get the skin to skin contact?

    We are all here to support you in whatever way you need.

    Lyn
    Lyn
    Nursing the girl with kaleidoscope eyes


    Mama to Daniel (12/3/06) and Lucy Jane (8/28/08)

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    344

    Default Re: I give up

    Diapers are good. Nope hubby won't let me have 5 mins to myself. If I am outside using the phone, he will walk outside, yell at me that Kayleigh wants me and slams the door. I can not get no time to myself at all. My mom is like "he needs to learn how to hold her and let u have time to yourself." I was on the phone with her the other day and he did that, she got so mad at him. She hates pacifiers and will gnaw on her fist or fingers, she will go 3-4 days without pooping. Last one 3 days ago was yellow and very seedy and there was a whole bunch of poop.
    I will take her into the shower with me and I will wash her hair and body, she hates her baby tub anyways and will only take a bathe is she is with me.
    Hubby says its not fair she is attached to me more than him.
    She has of yet to sleep through the night, every night she is up at 2am ready for her meal and then again at 4am or 5am, depends. She is a very impatient baby.
    Thank you.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    9,280

    Default Re: I give up

    So it sounds like your husband DOES want her to accept him for comfort right? There are times Daniel would prefer to be with me, but I am so touched out that I really need some moments to myself. So I go in another room and ALLOW my husband to comfort him. Sometimes there are a few tears, but I think its important not to swoop in and do the comforting. I needed to let DH find his own way, KWIM?

    Would your DH be up to try to take a bath with your LO? Skin to skin contact is a great comfort to babies. And water is always a good distraction. I always help DH and Daniel get in the bath safely, give them a bunch of toys, and then I get 20 minutes or so to myself before I take Daniel out of the bath, etc.

    My son doesnt sleep through the night either, at 6 months. It is draining for me, and I can't imagine how it is for you with two older kids. But I really don't think formula would change that.

    Do you co-sleep? Its really saved us with the night-wakings. I can just roll over, nurse, and go back to sleep.

    Lyn
    Lyn
    Nursing the girl with kaleidoscope eyes


    Mama to Daniel (12/3/06) and Lucy Jane (8/28/08)

  7. #17
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    1,912

    Default Re: I give up

    Im not one to talk, err, at least I shouldnt be, but hang in there mom! Kids and men are a surprisingly stressful combination....I dont/cant give you advice on this, so just know that we are thinking of you guys over here. I hope it gets better for you.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    2,631

    Default Re: I give up

    Quote Originally Posted by PoisonousBlonde_81 View Post
    Diapers are good. Nope hubby won't let me have 5 mins to myself. If I am outside using the phone, he will walk outside, yell at me that Kayleigh wants me and slams the door. I can not get no time to myself at all. My mom is like "he needs to learn how to hold her and let u have time to yourself." I was on the phone with her the other day and he did that, she got so mad at him. She hates pacifiers and will gnaw on her fist or fingers, she will go 3-4 days without pooping. Last one 3 days ago was yellow and very seedy and there was a whole bunch of poop.
    I will take her into the shower with me and I will wash her hair and body, she hates her baby tub anyways and will only take a bathe is she is with me.
    Hubby says its not fair she is attached to me more than him.
    She has of yet to sleep through the night, every night she is up at 2am ready for her meal and then again at 4am or 5am, depends. She is a very impatient baby.
    Thank you.
    She wants you more than DH because you are her comfort, her food, etc. If DH doesn't want to let you have time to herself, and you are constantly holding her, then she isn't going to be attached to him at all! Perhaps you need to sit your family down, and tell them what is going on and that things have to change. The stress of finances, having no place to live, etc, is causing stress for everyone, even the kids who are fighting. What I would do, is take the baby, and go visit a friend, or relative, or park and say to DH and children that you need a break, and you are going to spend the whole day to yourself, or whatever, and they can either stop fighting and all pitch in, or they can just do it by themselves! You are very valuable Momma, and everybody deserves peace. Hopefully you will actually be able to concentrate on getting to enjoy your LO, and maybe you can come back with a fresh mind.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    226

    Default Re: I give up

    Don't give up! I unintentionally weaned my first baby because I didn't have enough support. I'm sure your mother has good intentions, but seems to be undermining you. Ask her to encourage you instead of advising you. Did she have you during a time when formula and rice cereal were popular? My mother-in-law didn't understand BF. I haven't read all the responses yet, but I say..the dishes can wait! The dishes and dirty clothes are not going anywhere. They will be waiting for you when you are ready for them...your baby needs you right now. Do you have a sling so you can keep the baby with you and still feel a bit free? Are you having BabyBlues? Can your mom come help or is she too far away? Maybe a friend could come help? I just had my 7th in Jan. too so I know the stess can be crippling! Some of mine are able to help now, but when they were little it was alot harder. Don't worry about the kindergarden thing...learning just takes time and patience. Don't forget that the situation is new for the kids too....do they like to help with baby?

    If the doc isn't worried then try not to worry yourself. You're a good mom and that is why your worried. If your lo is continuing on a steady weight gain and the doc is fine keep going as you are. You said baby is happy.....follow her lead! It's BABY'S opinion that counts in breastfeeding!!!

    How is baby's dad normally? Can you talk to him and ask for more support? Maybe counseling would help if he has never been an understanding guy? HTH!

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    455

    Default Re: I give up

    to you!! I just want you to know that your lo is only ten days older than mine and my dd only weighs 10lb 4oz. As long as your dd is having plenty of wets and poops, no worries. It sounds like you have enough to worry about, your dd is doing great, you are a wonderful mother. Take care of yourself and your little ones. Everything has a way of working out. Take care.

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