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Thread: i am worried about bf my baby too much

  1. #1
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    Mar 2006
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    Arrow i am worried about bf my baby too much

    I also posted this in the weening forum.

    Hello all! I am having the most awful time with my daughter, Kaylee. She is 7 months old, and over 22 pounds. Right now I bf and she is getting a little bit of solids. For some reason she has always had a hard time falling asleep for both naps and at bedtime, and it only seems to be getting worse. The only way I can get her to fall asleep is by bfing her, but the trouble is that she sucks for soooo long. Even if she does fall asleep, 8 times out of 10 she wakes up when I gently take my nipple out of her mouth. So, I am extremely aggravated that I am always having to lay with her for almost her entire nap twice a day. Also I am worried that her excessive sucking during her naps and the night hours (she wakes up all through the night to suck) is causing her to be so big. She will not take a pacifier or a bottle at all. I have tried putting her in her crib, thinking maybe, out of sight out of mind - but that doesn't work.

    Also, another issue is that I want to ween her when she is 12 months (actually I would love to ween her from bf to ebf now, but I know it won't happen that fast, so I am setting a goal of 12 mo) I am just so worried, it won't go well. I don't want to traumatize her. I am honestly getting so sick of feeding her, especially when I know she's not hungry. It really wouldn't bother me if she wasn't' so big. I truly am confused. Everybody has such different opinions on the matter. Some would say to throw her in the crib and just let her cry and after a couple days she'll realize she isn't going to be fed during the nights and she'll start just going to sleep. Other's say that that is the most traumatic thing you can do. UGH!!!! I am so frustrated...any ideas, anyone??

  2. #2
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    Default Re: i am worried about bf my baby too much

    Oh I understand your frustrations! I have wanted to throw the towel in many times! My second child isn't that bad, but my first...WOW! The kid was nursing constantly. He LOVED his mommy milk, and comfort nursed all the time. it drove me nuts because I didn't want to be constantly connected, I wanted to be able to have a little time to myself! He could not self soothe at all! I just kept doing what I knew in my heart was right (nursing) and knew that it would not last forever. We co-slept, which is what I assume you are doing since she needs your boob to sleep ! It doesn't last forever, DS is now 3.5 and an incredible little boy. He is incredibly self confident, independent, loving, empathetic, funny, oh the list can go on! He is a GREAT kid, with a great sense of himself. I truly believe that was because I followed his cues and met his needs. He doesn't nurse anymore (although he is still rather fond of my breasts!) and he sleeps through the night for the most part. We are working on him falling asleep on his own right now, and with much success! This may seem like it will last forever, but it won't! I find myself crawling into bed with my son now, when he is asleep, to cuddle him like I used to. I miss it. He on the other hand, doesn't need it anymore .

    Your doing a great job, it will all be past you before you know it!

    Sarah

  3. #3
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    Mar 2006
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    Default Re: i am worried about bf my baby too much

    DS is like that a lot. We cosleep (pretty much all of the time these days) mainly because he cannot be separated from me for more than an hour or two or he wakes up screaming. I am against the CIO method, simply because we tried it (at the insistance of MIL) and it seemed to break some of the bond that we had by me forcing myself to ignore his crys. So that is part of the reason we are cosleeping too, to help repair that. I too plan on weaning around 1 year. DH has issues with bf to start with, (his mother was ruled by Dr. Spock) so he doesn't really understand the whole attachment parenting thing. So we agreed to stop at 1 year, but I plan on doing it VERY slowly because that is what I have heard is best. As far as how, that I don't know yet but have a few more months to figure out.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: i am worried about bf my baby too much

    Have you tried giving her a pacifier? I know she is older, but maybe that would work?

    Once your daughter reaches 12 months you can give her whole milk and start the weaning process to whole milk instead of breastmilk if you want. I nursed my daughter until she was ready to quit. We just started giving her whole milk in place of a nursing session occasionally. Soon she was only nursing at nap and bedtimes. Then one day she didn't nurse anymore. I thought I would be ready, but when it happened I was pretty sad. They grow up so quickly! She doesn't even remember nursing now, but she gives the greatest hugs and is so thoughtful and compassionate.

    I have big babies too. My daughter would nurse throughout the night as it sounds like yours does. My son, who is 3 months, will not do that, but is starting to fall asleep at the breast and want to stay there. He is big just like she was and it's not from nursing through the night.

    A friend of mine's son gained weight faster when she had to put him on formula. Your baby will grow as she is supposed to. You are doing a great job!

  5. #5
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    Default Re: i am worried about bf my baby too much

    I'm sorry that you are feeling so frustrated. It sounds like are confused about normal breastfeeding and infant behavior. But let me just reassure you that your baby is totally and completely perfectly normal! A lot of babies have a very strong urge to suck which is why they'll want to be latched on to the breast almost non-stop. The good news is as they get older, this behavior tends to taper off. It also sounds like your baby may have developed a sleep association with nursing. This is alright too! Many babies develop this. But you needn't wean in order to correct it (and some mom's don't ever correct it -- they can sleep while baby suckles all night long). You can break the sleep association. Have you tried reading The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley? It's not a quick-fix solution but she does discuss how to break this sleep association without weaning.

    Also, keep in mind that weaning may not solve these issues that you are having. This is something good to read: Would Weaning Make My Life Easier?

    The thing to keep in mind is that breastfeeding isn't an "all or nothing" situation. You might choose to simply night wean your baby (although, really at 7 months old baby probably does still need to nurse at least once or twice through out the night) instead of complete weaning altogether.

    That said, some babies are very small, some are average and some are very big! I don't imagine that your baby is big like she is because she's nursing so much. The very best thing you can do is to allow your baby to nurse when she needs to. As she gets older, her nursing will slow down. You may even see her body change from this chubby baby to a leaner toddler. Or not! She may always be somewhat of a "chunk". Just as small babies are small because of genetics, large babies are large for the same reason.

    I also wanted to address your comment about you not liking to nurse her, especially when you know she's not hungry. Your baby is comforted by nursing -- she is being comforted by the love of her life, her mama. You are nuturing her and giving her something that no one else can. Did you know that by nursing your daughter you are protecting her against breast cancer? Nursing protects you against breast cancer, cervical cancer, osteoporisis and the list goes on and on. You are truly doing an amazing thing not only for your baby, but for yourself as well! Breastfeeding doesn't last forever -- sometimes if we can see the light at the end of the tunnel then we can relax and simply enjoy the ride

    I hope this has helped -- keep up the good work! You're doing great!

  6. #6
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    Default Re: i am worried about bf my baby too much

    [QUOTE=mommymilk] I find myself crawling into bed with my son now, when he is asleep, to cuddle him like I used to. I miss it. He on the other hand, doesn't need it anymore .

    mommymilk, this is sooo true...i look at my 5 (almost 6) year old while i am nursing my little ds and think back all those years ago and try to remember him in my arms, now i am lucky if i get a hug and kiss from him (mom, my friends...lol) one leader at a lll meeting brought in a piece of paper, about 12 inches long, if i remember, she had life span marked off on it, and if you saw the actual "time spent nursing" compared to "life span", you would realize how short we have this time. i do understand being "touched out", maybe you could try a few hours away from the house, maybe easier now that dd is older? good luck, come back and vent when you need, we are here for you

  7. #7
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    Mar 2006
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    Default Re: i am worried about bf my baby too much

    I guess I just NEED the reassurance that I am not doing anything wrong. I always want my baby to come first, but I had never heard of babies sucking all night like that, and milk comes out all night, so I am worried about the calories. So I feel guilty, like I am doing something wrong. It wouldn't be so bad if she didn't nurse so much during the day also! I had read on Dr. Green's site ( it was addressing woman who were worried about their children being underweight) that they should not wish to have chubby babies because a study was done and showed that chubbier babies are more likely to be chubby teenagers - well that made me feel horrible! I can't seem to find any information on breastfed chubby babies - I wonder if it would be different results because they are breastfed??

  8. #8
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    Default Re: i am worried about bf my baby too much

    I'm not familiar with Dr. Greene, but you may want to look into what study he's citing on his website. I can tell you this -- formula fed babies have a higher risk of being overweight or obesity. This is probably because their feeds are quantified -- for instance, if mom makes a 6 oz. bottle she urges baby to finish it so that it doesn't go to waste. If that baby were being fed at the breast, he may not take in that much milk. I imagine that there's probably other factors related to artificial feeding and obesity too. I found this by doing a quick Google search of "breastfeeding and obesity" -- not a LLL source but maybe it will help you sort this out: http://jhl.sagepub.com/cgi/content/abstract/19/1/9

    I honestly would not worry about it. You have a healthy baby! Chances are she won't be overweight if you model healthy habits from the start.

    Try to just enjoy your baby and your breastfeeding relationship You are doing a great job!

  9. #9
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    Mar 2006
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    Default Re: i am worried about bf my baby too much

    Alissa,
    I too have a comfort sucker who sleeps best when he is attached to the breast. As soon as I remove my nipple he wakes up and starts fussing. I read the no cry sleep solution book and there were excellent ideas. What works best for ds and I is that once I know ds is done eating I slip my nipple out, put the pacifier in immediately and then I lie him in bed (shhhing the whole time). I will deal with the paci later, I just need some good sleep sometimes also. We mostly co-sleep, but when I first put him to bed at 7-7:30 I give him the paci. When I am ready to give him his last feeding I take him into bed with me. I usually wake between 3-3:30 for some odd reason and place him back into his bed. He is usually so sound asleep by then, he does not need the paci.
    Hope that works for you as well as it has for me!!

  10. #10
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    Mar 2006
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    Default Re: i am worried about bf my baby too much

    Thank you, everyone. I am def. going to have to get that book I actually did try the pacifier thing a few months ago, and it worked the first couple times, then after that, I think she "caught on" cause it started to make her mad! boy babies sure are a lot of work... but worth it.....:

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