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Thread: so sad, may have to give up already

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2007

    Default so sad, may have to give up already

    I am so sad. My DD is only 3 weeks old and I may have to give up BFing already. She BF's for a bit and then falls alseep...I try everything to wake her... put her down... she screams... then I BF her for a second and she falls back to sleep.....put her down... scream.....On and on and on this pattern goes(always miserable). Finally one night DH gave her a bottle of formula. She ate 3 oz AFTER I BF her. So now, when she doesn't seem content, we supplement with formula. I was hoping we could keep it to just nights(when she was most upset) However it has been during the day too. I believe I have enough supply, even when she feeds for awhile I still leak some sometimes when she is done. She also is gaining weight and having the right amount of wet/dirty diapers(we have only been supplementing the last two days). She just never seemed satisfied because she falls asleep.

    DH does not understand why I am so upset. I just feel like it is the beginning of phasing out BFing KWIM? I have a 6 yr old that was formula fed. Had I known then, what I know now, I would not have given up so easily. Now DH keeps saying other DD was FF she turned out fine. (that is NOT the only reason I wouldn't have given up)DH says that continuing to BF just because I will look back and wish I hadn't given up so easily is no reason(or not the right reason) to keep at it. I honestly don't get that. Regretting it for the rest of my life is not reason enough to keep trying?

    I feel like by supplementing my supply will go down. Then when she is awake more it won't be there. How much longer will this 'constant' sleep last? It is my second, but I honestly don't remember. Can I build it(my supply) up at that point?
    I really don't want to give this up, I keep thinking if I stick with it will get easier. However DH is past ready to give formula constantly. ( he does not pester about it though)
    I just don't know what to do... One up side to formula, I actually got to see her awake without her screaming, how nice that was. That part definately makes me happy. I don't want her hungry.
    Sorry this is so long... thanks for listening.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2006

    Default Re: so sad, may have to give up already

    You can still BF! No reason to give up! 1st I would stop supplementing now. It is very common for a BF baby to still drink down 3oz of formula from a bottle. With a bottle a baby is more apt to drink a lot more, this does not mean your BM is not enough for her! Here is a great article!

    As far as her sleepiness. I would undress her and try to get her a little cold maybe? My LO was pretty sleepy so I would undress her and then she would nurse then.

    Don't give up! Throw out all the formula! You don't need it. Keep up the nursing. Do you cosleep? Maybe do that and get some good night nursings in.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2007

    Default Re: so sad, may have to give up already

    You don't have to give up! And you don't have to supplement!
    Is her weight gain ok? Poop/pee output normal?

    Everything you described is sooo common! Lots of us have had sleepy babies. And a baby that will drink from a bottle after a nursing session is very, very typical. It is no way whatsoever a reflection on your supply. What baby would pass up an easy meal? None I know of.

    Toss out the formula. Nurse, nurse, nurse. If baby gets fussy, give her a boob. Simple as that. You'll make what she needs. It may be a few days(or weeks) of a lot of nursing, but that's ok!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2006

    Default Re: so sad, may have to give up already

    Do you have a local LLL? I'd get my latch checked by a leader or a lactation consultant. She may just not be "getting it" yet. She's got to learn how to get the milk out and she might not have that mastered yet. Or, she could be having a growth spurt and wants more milk. If that's the case, you need to nurse so you'll have the milk for tomorrow.

    Also, could you pump and give her the milk in a bottle? That would be one way to maintain your supply while she's working it out.

    Hang in there. It gets easier. Somewhere between 6 weeks and 3 months, but it does get easier.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2007

    Default Re: so sad, may have to give up already

    Throw out the formula!!!! You said her output was normal so you have no supply issue. Sounds like you just have a baby This is a hard time, but you can get through it. Baby is 'content' after the formula for the same reason we eat after a holiday meal, her tummy is so full that she must sleep to conserve energy in order to digest it. Stick to it momma! You can do it.

    And tell hubby to shove it

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2007

    Default Re: so sad, may have to give up already

    I had many of the same concerns - in fact I was so exhausted in the first month (only at 6 weeks ) had my MIL and DH wanting to supplement with formula. He got a few bottles of formula and I cried and cried thinking my body wasnt making enough for him. He would ALWAYS seem hungry (which he still does)

    Then I found this site and realised he was mainly just ensuring my supply. As long as your baby is gaining weight and has lots of wet diapers and poo diapers - she is getting enough! She just might want to cuddle and comfort nurse. Personally - I have my son attached to me almost 12 consecutive hours during the day. It does get frustrating - but when I see Gabe thriving i know this is the best I can do for him. We do keep our formula at hand just in case - But i am starting to build a supply of EBM in the freezer.

    Dont give up! but know - that I think the majority of us on here have contemplated throwing in the towel at one time or another. I am still waiting for it to get 'easier' but i am not giving up yet

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2006

    Default Re: so sad, may have to give up already

    I completely agree with the PP's. You don't need to give up, and you probably don't need the formula either! I'd strongly suggest contacting a local LLL leader if there is one near you. Here is a link to find one: http://www.llli.org/Webindex.html

    It just sounds like you need some good support right now. Like the others have said, what you describe is very common. You are right to worry about the formula causing your supply to decrease. The more formula baby takes, the less she will take from you, and your supply will adjust accordingly. Some newborns need to nurse A LOT. You can also try breast compressions to help keep baby actively nursing longer. Here is a link that talks about that: http://www.bflrc.com/newman/handouts...ompression.htm

    Call a local leader and keep posting here for support!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2006

    Default Re: so sad, may have to give up already

    Go with what the pp said NURSE NURSE NURSE and when you think your done nursing NURSE some some. It will get easier I promise. My ds eat I think literally for like 6 hours straight at that age and as soon as he was content I had time to go to the bathroom and then start it all over again! He is 12 weeks old now and take about 10 mins to eat his meal and then is awake and happy! YOU CAN DO IT! These ladies are wonderful, they kept me from giving up this time round too ( I gave up after 2 weeks with DD) Don't give up yet, the fact that you are all your baby needs is a truely wonderful thing. Tell DH that you are providing the best possible thing for you and your lo. He'll understand (and if he does'nt right away, he'll see how wonderful *and convienent sp?* it is later when it gets easier.
    One more thing I thought might help (it saved my relationship with ds) try taking a bath with your lo and let lo lay in a feeding position, if they start to fall asleep splash a little bit of water on them to wake lo up. ALso skin to skin contact is a must lay down topless and have baby in a diaper. Have a nurse in if possible. Go to bed with water snacks remote and baby and stay there all day if possible.
    All the advice that I have for you is what these wonderful ladies said to me and it worked wonders. Good luck mamma and come here as often as you need. If you just need a little encouragement when it gets rough just say so and youll get it

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Bryan, Texas

    Default Re: so sad, may have to give up already

    3 weeks seems like a growth spurt. Your LO is trying to get your milk supply up and by supplementing you are sabotaging that effort. Take the baby to bed with you and nurse as often as she wants to nurse. If you need a break...hand her off and go take a hot shower...but it won't last. Take care and trust your body to make what you need for your baby.
    All over the world there exists in every society a small group of women who feel themselves strongly attracted to giving care to other women during pregnancy and childbirth. Failure to make use of this group of highly motivated people is regrettable and a sin against the principle of subsidiary. ~ Dr. Kloosterman, Chief of OB/GYN, Univ. of Amsterdam, Holland


    Mama to:
    Shiloh (5/6/06) Nursed for 13 months and Josephine (7/26/08) Nursed for 23.5 mos Currently nursing my new little firecracker, Finley Catherine, born on the 4th of July!!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2007

    Default Re: so sad, may have to give up already

    Maybe she is crying because she is wanting to continue to suck(just for comfort)while she is sleeping? It might not have anything to do with needing more milk. My DD did that all of the time. She would nurse, fall asleep and then I would unlatch her and she would act like she was starving and wanted to nurse again, but she wasn't swallowing, just sucking. Just a thought...

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