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Thread: sex with my husband

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
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    58

    Default Re: sex with my husband

    MY dr said we could resume sex after 4 weeks. I had a vaginal delivery and a big episiotomy. I was hesitant because of all the horror stories I heard from other moms so I told my husband that my dr said 6 week. Of couse as soon as I came home from my 6 week check up my husband was home waiting. Well I used replens. It is a vaginal lubricant that you insert into the vagina like you would monistat, then on the outside we used KY b/c it tends to get sticky for me if we use to much KY. As far as where we went into the spare bedroom during LO long afternoon nap. I highly recommend the Replens. It is in the same section as KY and condoms. Good luck!!

  2. #12
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    Mar 2007
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    Far away
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    Default Re: sex with my husband

    What do you do if you have NO desire for sex? Even my husband's little soft kisses annoy me. I think there may be something wrong with me. It's been 13 weeks since LO arrived and I am not at all interested. (And I wasn't all that interested for the latter half of my pregnancy either.) The thought of it seems too much of a hassle and too weird. I kinda feel like I would be fine with never having sex again with him!

    We are co-sleeping but I don't think that has anything to do with it really. If I was truly into it, we'd just have sex in another room. I know part of it is because I feel fat and flabby but that can't explain it all...
    Andrea - mama to Laith 02.20.07 and Sommer 01.21.11
    'Either you repeat the same conventional doctrines everybody is saying, or else you say something true, and it will sound like it's from Neptune.' - Noam Chomsky

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
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    513

    Default Re: sex with my husband

    You know I thought when the Dr said it was OK at 6 weeks I'd be ready, but I'm still not at 16 weeks. I too get annoyed when my husband tries to kiss my neck or tries to get to 2nd base. I'm so not into that baseball game...I'd seriously rather actually watch baseball. We've had sex once since Evan was born, it wasn't great at all. I hope I can be into it soon, I feel kinda bad for my husband. Today is his birthday...maybe I'll try to be in the mood *LOL*
    Mama to Evan Born February 1st 2007 Breastfeeding for a year...thinking of weaning
    Wife to my Best Friend KR



  4. #14
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    Apr 2007
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    NW OH
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    3,473

    Default Re: sex with my husband

    I too had a vaginal birth with a small tear, and my husband was also waiting at the door for me when I got home from my 6 week check up.
    But on the down side, I also havent had any desire for sex. My son is 4.5 months old, and I still am not ready. Probably due to nights of interrupted sleep and being a paranoid first time mommy, my son is always on my mind. And maybe I feel selfish or something for taking a few moments to spend with my husband so I choose not too so I can be with my son. I do try and give in once a week or so, because my husband has been so patient with me I try to show him I appreciate him a little
    We also co-sleep so we wait until he is asleep and go to the living room or our extra bedroom, and havent had any problems in that sense. I just hope to have my libido return someday, but until then...

    (Andiuae, we are alike in this area...I dont even like to be kissed! I feel bad, but I just dont even want to THINK about sex, let alone have it!!)


    I'm Heather, SAHM to Cooper , born 1/2007
    and Bennett, our precious NICU grad born 8/2009
    and wife to Bill since 10/2003!
    We're young, but we know we can do it!
    Life with the Stevens-blog

    I'm an Ergo Baby Carrier affiliate!

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    104

    Default Re: sex with my husband

    We waited 3 weeks, even though i had an episiotomy and the Dr said 6...somethings just can't wait. It was actually really good (the glass of wine and bottle of lube helped). Some positions were out of the question for a while, and we had to go easy, but i didn't have any real pain to speak of. As far as the desire for sex...i was all over the board, one day i was all over DF and others i coulnd't stand to have him touch me. It takes times for you hormones to start evening out, and breastfeeding is a notorious drain on libido. I found that if i forced myself to be in the mood for a while, i end up wanting sex more. Kind of a "fake it till you make it" kind of thing (and no, i didn't mean "fake it" just fake the mood for a while )

    We dont' cosleep now, but did at the time...we'd have quickies while Eden was in her swing...nap time was a blessing, and there's always shower fun! Never underestimate the power of the quickie. It's what got us through the first months.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    202

    Default Re: sex with my husband

    Does anyone have the opposite problem?! Honestly, after 8 weeks I haven't had much of a desire to have intercourse yet, because I'm scared of the discomfort I might experience (Vaginal delivery and episiotomy.) However, I've been acting like I want to only because my DH has not even come close to trying!! After reading these posts it just confirmed that this is NOT normal! What's wrong here? I mean he was in the delivery room of course and he saw EVERYTHING, but I consider myself an attractive person and have quickly lost a lot of pregnancy weight. What's goin' on!

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    118

    Default Re: sex with my husband

    PP, I don't think that is so abnormal. I had a c-section and went through the same thing. A few weeks after, I would try to spark a mood but then get upset at HIS lack of response I don't think it was that I was actually ready or wanting to have sex, but that I needed reassurance from him that he still wanted me.....and he was only avoiding sex because he didn't want me to hurt myself further (I overexerted myself after coming home from the hospital and popped a stitch). Our dd was in the NICU for a while, and now that she's home I'm so consumed with taking care of her that I'm not in the mood so much. I hope some kind of balance comes along soon!

  8. #18
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    9

    Default Re: sex with my husband

    Doctors say you need to wait six weeks. Once you go to your 6 week check up with you OB and they give you the go ahead you can have sex. Otherwise refrain as much as you can.

    I just had a baby Friday and that's what I was told.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    1,110

    Default Re: sex with my husband

    Quote Originally Posted by andiuae View Post
    What do you do if you have NO desire for sex? Even my husband's little soft kisses annoy me. I think there may be something wrong with me. It's been 13 weeks since LO arrived and I am not at all interested. (And I wasn't all that interested for the latter half of my pregnancy either.) The thought of it seems too much of a hassle and too weird. I kinda feel like I would be fine with never having sex again with him!

    We are co-sleeping but I don't think that has anything to do with it really. If I was truly into it, we'd just have sex in another room. I know part of it is because I feel fat and flabby but that can't explain it all...
    I am going through the same thing and the worst part is I've been like this for a long time. We TTC for 2 years and at the end we weren't enjoying sex that much. The good thing is that we are very good friends besides lovers and he is very, very understanding. As a pp said, we are even going through a very nice fase, not phisical but emotional.

    My DD is now 15 weeks and we had intercourse for the first time in months (like since I was 6 months PG) . It was very painful, we used tons of lub. I didn't enjoy it, but I knew I was doing something nice for him. My suggestion is to try not to force yourself (forcing it would make it a duty and it's supposed to be fun) and think about the good things that you experienced with him (like vacations with him or your first kiss or even when you gave birth and he was right there with you). Also, talk about it with him, read him articles about sex and post-partum and tell him it's painful but it will get better. I think comunication is the key. I'm not going to say I enjoy it because I don'T, it hurts soooo much and I'm deffinitely not in the mood but these thoughts help me to relax and try to at least do something nice for him.

    I talked to my Dr about it and he said it's totally normal and it will get back to normal.

    We are not alone

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    MollyWeasleyIsMyHeroVille
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    Default Re: sex with my husband

    Quote Originally Posted by Jordan's Mommy View Post
    Does anyone have the opposite problem?! Honestly, after 8 weeks I haven't had much of a desire to have intercourse yet, because I'm scared of the discomfort I might experience (Vaginal delivery and episiotomy.) However, I've been acting like I want to only because my DH has not even come close to trying!! After reading these posts it just confirmed that this is NOT normal! What's wrong here? I mean he was in the delivery room of course and he saw EVERYTHING, but I consider myself an attractive person and have quickly lost a lot of pregnancy weight. What's goin' on!
    Have you asked your DH about it? I know it's an odd conversation but at first DF was a bit like that, and when I asked him what was up he said that he was afraid it would hurt me too much, and with all that I'd gone through just a few weeks ago he was worried it would make me never want sex again.


    ~Meg~
    Wife to Ray (09/07/07)and Mama to:
    Xander (01/19/07) nursed for 30 months
    Liam (12/12/09) still nursing through the night and in the mornings!
    Sebastian (7/29/12) my newest little nursling who graciously shares his milk with big brother!


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