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Thread: sex with my husband

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
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    Default sex with my husband

    I don´t know if this is the right forum to ask, but here goes:
    two questions:

    1) I had a vaginal birth, and I was wondering how long I should wait to have sex with my hubby? does it hurt?

    2)How is intimacy affected and how do you deal with it if the child shares our bed? (I´ve been advised to have a "family bed", the first seems easy since we can´t have sex anyway)

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
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    2,539

    Default Re: sex with my husband

    There have been posts about this very topic (I had a thread as well). I did not want to have intercourse with my hubby for sometime because I had a lot of discomfort. Everyone is different, but it is recommended that you wait until you get the okay from your MD. It took about 6 months postpartum before I felt comfortable again. I was given the advice of using a lubricant and to have a glass of wine it really does help

    We also co-sleep and love to have mommy and daddy play time in the shower or use other rooms in the house, we keep a monitor of DS close by incase he wakes. HTH, I will try to bump those threads for you.

  3. #3
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    Feb 2007
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    Default Re: sex with my husband

    Quote Originally Posted by yequita View Post
    1) I had a vaginal birth, and I was wondering how long I should wait to have sex with my hubby? does it hurt?
    In answer to the first question: I waited a full 2 months, but then, I tore an awful lot during delivery. AND I had an extremely long post-partum period that just wouldn't stop, and I HATE making love in the middle of my period, so...yeah. If you want to know the best course for yourself, I would ask your gynecologist. In answer to the second question: Um, yeah. It feels a lot like the "first time." But then after that, it gets easier. Use LOTS of lubricant the first couple times.

    2)How is intimacy affected and how do you deal with it if the child shares our bed? (I´ve been advised to have a "family bed", the first seems easy since we can´t have sex anyway)
    Well, we don't co-sleep, so I can't answer your exact question here. But the best general advice I can give personally is to continue being intimate no matter what-- kisses, carresses, sweet nothings, whatever you and your hubby enjoy most short of "doing it."
    ~Sylvia~

    Wife to Nick, m. May 2005

    Mommy to Gabriel (b. January 2007, 8lbs. 15oz.), nursed 18 months.

    Isaac (b. August 2009, 9lbs. 1oz- naturally), nursed 22 months, through PPD/PPA and emergency gallbladder surgery.

    and Corban (b. March 2012, 11lbs. 6Oz.- naturally in the water), my NICU baby, still nursing strong at age 2!


    Daughter of God

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    1,500

    Default Re: sex with my husband

    surfin- looks like we simul-posted.

    Quote Originally Posted by surfinrn&mom2mason View Post
    I did not want to have intercourse with my hubby for sometime because I had a lot of discomfort.
    Same here. The first couple times we tried, I just hurt too much and we had to stop. It was hard to get myself back "in the mood" phyiscally (the spirit was willing but the flesh was weak, hehe). But as stated above, it got easier. And now I'm back full swing
    ~Sylvia~

    Wife to Nick, m. May 2005

    Mommy to Gabriel (b. January 2007, 8lbs. 15oz.), nursed 18 months.

    Isaac (b. August 2009, 9lbs. 1oz- naturally), nursed 22 months, through PPD/PPA and emergency gallbladder surgery.

    and Corban (b. March 2012, 11lbs. 6Oz.- naturally in the water), my NICU baby, still nursing strong at age 2!


    Daughter of God

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    855

    Default Re: sex with my husband

    I agree with pp, your supposed to wait until after your check up with your ob- usually 6 weeks. We did it a little earlier. I think it depends on if you tore or not. I didn't so it wasn't painful the first time, just sore for a while. Use LOTS of lube. It takes a while for your libido to come back...too bad a husbands doesn't decrease. lol

    We co-sleep with our lo. We co-slept with our son for almost 5 years. We always put our lo in her swing asleep so we can have our time together. You never know if it is going to be 5 min or an hour before she wakes, so it is kinda like your always hurrying. If the lo is already asleep in the bed, other rooms can be fun.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
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    San Diego
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    Default Re: sex with my husband

    I waited five weeks, I just went on how I felt. I think they say six weeks is safe but I was ready. We co-sleep and we have "our" time on the floor when my son falls asleep. We only do that because he sleeps poorly the first few hours of the night. When he sleeps better, we'll probably go to the back bedroom with a monitor. Oh and our love life has actually gotten better. Not physically really, but emotionally. It's even more special now than it was before.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    285

    Default Re: sex with my husband

    we waited months. and when i say months, i mean MONTHS- It was probably about 6 months. I had some residual medical problems preventing any intercourse from the time I was 12 weeks prego until about 6 months after the birth when i was cleared. I had a c-section, so there wasn't a question of pain (although it was still different after the birth).
    to be honest, there were too many other things on my mind to have worried about that. your partner should be VERY understanding. you just squeezed a whole human out of your you know what...

    Mari
    Mommy to Mohamed 6-9-06

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    It's round on the ends and high in the middle
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    Default Re: sex with my husband

    I had a c-section, not a vag. birth, but I had pushed for 2 and 1/2 hours, so it felt like the best of both worlds.
    My doctor cleared me for sex after 7 weeks. However, even with the LO being 13 weeks, sex is something I have had to work up to. It has hurt each time, and seems like it's taken me longer to get into it. Lubricant is a good friend of mine now - without it, I dont think sex would happen at all.
    I read that most post partem women experience more vaginal dryness than before they gave birth. Just a little something to think about...

    Jessica
    Fancy Momma to the Divine Miss M, 2/15/07 BF'ed for 17 months!
    Currently TTC Baby #2


    Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies - Damn it, you've got to be kind. - Kurt Vonnegut

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    258

    Default Re: sex with my husband

    After both deliveries, we waited 4 weeks. I had a major episiotomy and a lot of stitches with my first, and only "skid marks" with my second that had one stitch each, really minor.
    For me, no, it didn't hurt much. After my first, it did hurt some, but a lot of lubricant helped. With my second, no pain at all.

    As far as where, anywhere but the bed! There's no reason why sex has to happen in bed.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    1,421

    Default Re: sex with my husband

    I waited the 6 weeks (thats about all I was going to get with my hubby )

    It was painful at first, but I gotta say, KY saved me. It really helped and after a few times it stopped hurting
    Danielle

    Mom to Gage 12/28/06

    Wife to Trinity 6/21/03 my best friend

    ed for year, finally done!!!!
    for more than a year now!

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