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Thread: my baby hates my breasts!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    86

    Default my baby hates my breasts!

    help me ~ this problem has been getting progressivley worse for the last few weeks. my 3.5 month old son is so hard to get to the breast. he used to be very enthusiastic and gradually has been turned off by me. he often gets angry just at being put in a nursing position, even when i can hear his tummy growling. i try feeding him before he's hungry, waiting until he's really hungry, every imaginable angle and position, when he's going to sleep, waking up...i can't figure out what happened to cause this aversion, believe me, i have read every article here and on kellymom...i've tried everything and more..i'm getting so frustrated and ready to quit breastfeeding. please help me!
    Thanks

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    167

    Default Re: my baby hates my breasts!

    geez louise......I am with you there. It must be that time (my ds was born on Dec 30th) He fusses at my breast, does not wait for second letdown. I had my supply up and going and for some reason it went down again. I found out the two reasons he was fussing at my breasts: 1)I am not producing enough for him 2)I ate something that REALLY upset his tummy.
    I need to take my own suggestion when I tell you to stick with it, it will get better, your doing the best thing for your ds.
    I am also ready to quit. This will be my THIRD time to rebuild my supply and I am tired and exhausted. We went through this 2 weeks ago.............Seriously for something so natural why does it have to be so hard.
    DONT QUIT!!! Your doing a great job

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: my baby hates my breasts!

    Hey...I had a similar problem and still do to a certain extent! My baby is 6 1/2 months and I would say that since about 3 months I've had that problem of him getting fussy at my breasts. He would basically only nurse when he was really hungry. There were a couple of days that had me really concerned because he didn't nurse for hours and hours--like 12 hours one day!

    I did some reading--and there's a really good book called "The Nursing Mother's Companion," which has a troubleshooting section and covers every imaginable problem (I don't remember the name of the author, unfortunately!)--and I think that initially, my baby's problem was my overabundant milk supply and a foremilk imbalance (he was getting all the thin, lactose-rich milk that your breasts produce at the beginning of a feeding), which made him very gassy (also, I think, it didn't help that I was eating tons of old Halloween candy).

    I started nursing him on one side per feeding, which slowed down my breasts' production of foremilk and ensured that he was getting the richer, heavier hindmilk...and I quit eating Halloween candy and also avoided coffee and dairy and his gassiness improved a lot (tho not sure how much diet changes really had to do w/ it, except for candy). He used to spit up a lot--at every feeding. I really think he has reflux, and had it badly before I started trying nursing on one side. Now he spits up once or twice a day, small amounts.

    Then, maybe he started teething, plus I'd been hopping around from my husband's home (we're separated) to my father's, where I'm currently living, which I think threw us a bit out of whack...plus, I was very tired, caring for my baby basically all on my own, and he developed this new sort of fussiness where he would START nursing and then get mad and pull off.

    Only recently, I've started to think that now it might be a slow letdown. This is because I finally got around to trying the pump and I realized that it took forever for the milk to start flowing. So now I'm pumping between feedings to try and up my supply and get the milk flowing quickly. We'll see.

    But basically, I dealt with it by only feeding him when he got really hungry. I would wait 4-5 hours if I needed to. In the beginning, he was a huge baby--over 16 pounds at three months, up from 8 lbs 1 oz at birth--and now he's still big, but his growth did slow down quite a bit starting at around 4 months. At his 6-month checkup he was 19 lbs, 6 oz. At first he was gaining like 2 oz per day and now I think he's gaining about 1/2 oz per day.

    I have been really worried and sad sometimes--I envy those mothers whose babies want to snuggle and nurse all the time. There was a lactation consultant at an area WIC office (Women, Infants, Children, which I believe they have all over the U.S. and the lactation consultations are free) who helped me and of course I let my pediatrician know what was going on.

    It makes me sad that I had to have all this trouble with nursing. I think it's been hard living with my father and not being able to really relax with it, always having to hide out in my room b/c it's not comfortable for me...and I could never find a comfortable position, for some reason...I was always hunched over in some bizarre configuration...anyway, nursing has just been a hard road for me and it makes me sad. I envy moms whose babies want to nurse and snuggle at any occasion.

    Well, we'll see if the pumping helps! I am considering giving him the bottle now. Partly because I'm tired of worrying and struggling and partly because I might want to start working again. We'll see.

    That's my story. Sorry if I'm a bit long-winded! I would consider the possibilities of reflux (which my pediatrician offered me drops for, but I just didn't want to use them, and maybe that was a mistake on my part) or slow letdown. And definitely, definitely, if you can, try to find a lactation consultant!

    Oh--I should add that signs of a foremilk imbalance are greenish or blackish stools (if a baby is getting enough hindmilk, the stools will be yellow) and general gassiness/spitting up (explosive poops, baby pulling his legs up to chest or squirming a lot)...at least, that's what I recall from my reading!
    Last edited by mama_k; April 16th, 2006 at 11:54 AM.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: my baby hates my breasts!

    OMG! My problem is identical to yours. I am so stressed over this problem. My son (3.5 mo) waits like 5-6 hours to finally try to eat (he gets hungry way earlier than that, 2-3 hours after nursing) and he eats with great dislike, with little bit of pushing. I don't know what to do eather, my milk supply is decreasing, after he eats, there's not much to even pump for another 5-6 hours. And finally when he eats there's only 50-80ml in my breast! I hope somebody can help us!!! I fell sorry for you and myself too

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    1,168

    Default Re: my baby hates my breasts!

    I'm pressed for time, so I'm going to respond just briefly here, in part also to bump this thread up so others will see it and hopefully respond.

    To all of the above posters -- have your babies gotten any bottles at all? This kind of impatience and resistance to nursing is sometimes the result of "nipple confusion" (more accurately called nipple or flow preference).

    There are other questions to ask and links to share, but I will leave it at that for now and will try to come back to this tomorrow. Hang in there -- you're all doing great by persisting through a difficult spell!

    --Rebecca

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    201

    Default Re: my baby hates my breasts!

    I just want to say that I understand that feeling of sadness over the fact that nursing has not been what you had hoped it would be. I would say a lot of us on this forum have felt that way, because we're the ones here looking for help. All the moms who were blessed with an easier road are home snuggling with their angelic nursers I guess, not online. I think it's definitely important to recognize that disappointment, and I would venture to say even grief over giving up the idea that nursing will be a natural and enjoyable venture. It's gotten a lot easier for me but it will never be the ideal I had hoped for. I feel for you.

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