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Thread: Help feeling VERY depressed! another long one...

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    83

    Default Re: Help feeling VERY depressed! another long one...

    We had that same fussy time up until my daughter was about two months (maybe even two and a half months)....but it definately started getting better around two months....I second the Miracle blanket...it isn't a special material but it wraps them in really tight and helps them sleep a lot better, as they get older they (at least my DD) was able to squirm her way out of a regular blanket swaddle and then she wouldn wake up and couldn't go back to sleep. Will your son take a pacifier? Maybe her just wants to suck during that time? We used to just trade off holding DD and rocking her and doing whatever possible to keep her from screaming. Also, you may try starting a bedtime routine at this age. maybe at 5 or 5;30 give your son a bath (this cna relax a lot of babies and my DD loves getting a bath!) and then swaddling and giving either a bottle or bf'ing, whatever works best (you could even pump while DH gives a bath and then give a bottle of EBM (that's what we do)....then put the baby down and maybe he will sleep better. Good luck and know that things will get better. I felt the same way as you at that stage, like I was a bad mom and couldn't figure out what to do do to help my DD, but honestly sometimes despite your best efforts there is nothing you can do and they just need to cry....it will get better!

  2. #12
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    258

    Default Re: Help feeling VERY depressed! another long one...

    This is an excellent article I found last night that may be helpful to you:

    http://www.medela.com/Newfiles/pdfs/Colic.pdf

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    10,440

    Default Re: Help feeling VERY depressed! another long one...

    My first baby was very, very, VERY fussy . . . most of the day, but nights were really bad. From about 3 PM on, he screamed.

    Wearing him in the sling a lot, and particularly during his fussy time of day, helped. Just having him ON me, not just near me, made a difference. I would get DH to take over fussy baby duty and go to bed, and DH would bring me the baby to nurse when he seemed hungry. I got some rest and a break, and the baby did better for DH.

    He didn't like swaddling, but he tolerated the sling very well. He still was fussy, but IMHO, that's part of his personality. He's still a TOUGH kid to deal with.

    We didn't do bottles, so I'm not sure that's a magic solution. If you're willing to do bottles, it might work. I'd be absolutely sure the latch was perfect before introducing one, since our first was given one bottle while I was in emergency surgery about an hour after he was born, and we fought nipple confusion for 8 weeks, along with some other issues, like OALD and oversupply.

    Acid reflux comes to mind to me. My first had that. We suffered for four months before it was diagnosed. Medication helped tremendously.

    For yourself, try to make sure you get some quiet time every day to take care of you. I didn't get that, I was really upset about how things were going, I didn't feel really great, and there I was stuck with this fussy baby all day (>12 hours) every day, plus all the other stuff I do. I ended up with serious PPD, and studies have shown that women with these tough babies that cry a lot are at much higher risk of PPD. So take care of yourself.

    It does get better, I promise. And not every baby you have, should you have more, will be like this. My Colton is hardly ever fussy. It's a total miracle! Some babies just demand more of us and need a higher level of parenting.

    Oh, and if you can, get the book "The Fussy Baby" by Dr. Sears, or check out his website.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    28

    Default Re: Help feeling VERY depressed! another long one...

    I don't know if my input will help you at all, but I'll tell you how we're coping with the evening fussies.

    First and foremost, having my husband around to take turns rocking, walking, and giving the baby a finger to suck on when he just needs to suck is the most important thing. There is no way I would be able to handle this alone.

    Second, we do much better if I get enough sleep. The last two days I have had naps over an hour long in the afternoon, and it leaves me much better equipped to deal with a long period of fussiness. If I wear out before the baby does, it really ruins the whole evening. I find it hard to sleep during my baby's morning naps, but in the afternoon I force myself to do it.

    Lennon's fussy period always starts with a late afternoon or early evening feeding. After breastfeeding like a champ all day, suddenly he will just be irate about it and will pull off screaming after a few seconds or a few minutes. In turn, I worry that he isn't getting enough to eat and is miserable because he was starving. Somehow I've managed to get him to eat for at least five minutes each time (we often have hourly feedings during colic) by keeping my hand gently but firmly on the back of his head so he has to think twice about pulling off. If he repeatedly freaks out about the boob, I take him off and try again in awhile if nothing else has calmed him and he still rooting like crazy. I was concerned that maybe he wasn't getting enough hindmilk because of these short feedings, but since he does great the rest of the day and is still growing like a weed, I was able to just stop sweating it.

    I don't know what makes the crabby session finally end each night, but I will say I used that Johnson's bedtime lotion the last two nights (I put it on my own arms rather than on the baby) and both nights he chilled out soon after, although it could just be a coincidence that he was ready to stop fussing then.

    I was feeling exactly like you only a very short time ago, and I promise you it will get better! I'm sorry you're having such a rough time; I know all too well how overwhelming it can be. Sooner or later, you'll be giving advice instead of needing it!

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    202

    Default Re: Help feeling VERY depressed! another long one...

    Thank you for the advice. I was concerned about reflux because there were a couple of times in his first few weeks that he spit up a lot of milk and it worried me. Now, he is spitting up maybe about 1/3 of his feedings, but it's usually not a whole lot and sometimes it is just little dribbles of milk (I've heard this is normal.) The doctor didn't think he had reflux, but it seemed that she mainly thought that bc he wasn't projectile vomitting. I've read articles on reflux and he has some of the other sypmtoms like hiccups and chocking, but I also have overactive letdown, so I attributed it to that. He does seem to be gassy, but that's probably normal. It worries me sometimes that it could be something else that I don't know about though. He seems uncomftorable a lot and I can tell the pain is from his stomach because he clinches and strains as if he is having a bowel movement, but usually doesn't have the bowel movement until like 5-10 minutes later sometimes or not at all until the next feeding or right before. I guess that's just gas? Sometimes he'll fall asleep and then wake up straining and squeeling 20 minutes later...and then I have to try to put him back to sleep. It seems like he's so tired, but can't stay asleep. He has plenty of dirty diaper so he's not constipated, but that's what it looks like. Sometimes his diapers are seem watery to me, but they might just be "soft," because they are always yellow. He went to the doctor a week and a half ago and she seems to think he is healthy as can be...growing rapidly, but I still worry.

    Yesterday and last night were great...but I don't know if I just got lucky or if it is because of something we did. When Daddy got home around 5:30pm I went to the grocery store, while he bathed him and gave him a bottle. Daddy siad he was fine in the bath (which he usually isn't.) He fell asleep after the bottle and woke up again a little fussy, but not much. When I tried to feed him again he ate fine from the first boob, and looked like he wanted more but started screaming at the sight of it. So, I tried to rock him to sleep, which was successful after only like 5 minutes of screaming...the rest of the night he was great. A lot of times he wakes every hour and a half, but last night he was sleeping for 3 hours at a time...and then 2 1/2. Daddy did put that lavender Johnsons lotion on him, so maybe that did the trick, bc I only tried it once before...or maybe it was the bottle. I don't know.... he was passing gas in his sleep, but it didn't wake him up.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    262

    Default Re: Help feeling VERY depressed! another long one...

    IMHO it sounds like there might be something up besides just being fussy. With reflux there doesn't have to be much spit up at all. It took us 4 minths to relize that our DD had it because she was gaining waight and almost never spit up. My DD is VERY sensitive to the foods that I eat which cause gas and her reflux to be worse. She used to scream every night sometimes for hours, and was a terrible sleeper. We would have to hold her and run the vacuum or shower to calm her down, I thought that I was going to go crazy! I changed my diet, she got put on meds for the reflux, and I started burping her more often. She is like a different baby! Don't give up, there is an answer, and even if there isn't it will pass. I'm so sorry mama!

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    65

    Default Re: Help feeling VERY depressed! another long one...

    have you tried wearing him? my kid hated being swaddled too, but he loves being worn and dancing really helped us early on. hang in there.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    202

    Default Re: Help feeling VERY depressed! another long one...

    I bought a sling from babiesrus...the ultimate baby wrap...but it got really complicated trying to use it....so I haven't quite figured how to get it tied just right. I kind of did it today and baby seemed to like it.
    Last edited by Jordan's Mommy; May 15th, 2007 at 04:12 PM.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    202

    Default Re: Help feeling VERY depressed! another long one...

    Proud Mommy, How did you find out your DD had reflux? Before the medice was your DD fussy/crying a lot EVERY day? It's weird, because the past two days...especially today my baby is a COMPLETELY different baby....he has been a happy little angel. I'm really confused, because I've never seen him act like that. I am thankful, but just confused bc I'm not sure what's so different. [/QUOTE]

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    1,712

    Default Re: Help feeling VERY depressed! another long one...

    Mama. The newborn days, especially with the first, are so hard. Both my babies were fussy at night. I promise it does get better. I agree with the pp, get in touch with you LLL leader now. Don't wait. I used to walk, bounce, rock, etc for hours. Wearing them in a carrier of your choice can really help too.

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