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Thread: Help feeling VERY depressed! another long one...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    202

    Unhappy Help feeling VERY depressed! another long one...

    I feel like I might have written a similar post when my baby was a couple of weeks old but I'm not sure...now he is six weeks old and everything seems blurry. I've heard that babies normally have a fussy time in the evening, but for like 2 hours every night my baby is more than fussy...he is hysterical! This normally occurs sometime between 5-9, but it has occured more than once a day on occassion and has occured earlier as well. I feed him on demand, but sometimes it's still hard for me to determine if he is just hungry or tired....I'm starting to think this "hysterical time" is because of both.

    Tonight I fed him around 5pm but he only ate for a couple of minutes and wouldn't eat anymore...he was fussy for a while, but not too bad...then around 6pm his fussiness started to escalate so I thought that he was probably just sleepy, but because he started sucking on his hand I thought I might try to offer him the breast again to see if he might not have gotten full off of the 5pm feeding. He always takes the breast at first no matter what, which makes it even harder to tell if he's hungry. He started sucking and and then started crying...I didn't give up right away and kept offering, but that just made it worse, so I thought...okay he must be really sleepy. I tried to put him to sleep and it worked, but then he woke up 15 minutes later bc I tried to put him down in his crib. At this point everything started all over again...started sucking on breast and then screaming like crazy. I've heard that there is either less milk in the evening or the flow is slower, but with my OALD I can see that the slowness might not be problem...when he's in a good mood, he handles it well and has learned to mostly adjust to the OALD. HOwever, when mostly in the evenings when he gets really upset, NOTHING can console him for like 2 hours....sometimes only an hour....before he falls asleep. I don't know if this means that he was sleepy in the first place or frustrated with the breastfeedng (for some reason that I'm not aware of) and just got so tired of screaming that he fell asleep hungry.

    When this happen I feel so horrible, because my baby starts screaming hysterically to the point that he starts chocking a little bit before he calms down. I don't know what to do in this situation besides try to console him which doesn't work! I'm feeling so depressed. I try soooooo hard to do everything right and make my baby happy, but I feel like I am depriving him of either sleep or food and I'm not sure of which. If I gave up bf I would feel even worse, but I feel so bad right now bc I could be neglecting him of food...even though he won't take it. I heard not to supplement during this time bc it will lower my supply for the evening, but what am I supposed to do?!!!!!!!!! I can't just let him scream every night for 2 hours!

    I was supposed to attend my first LLL meeting today and I completely forgot about it until the time had already passed...so now I have to wait until next month! But I can't...I need help now! What do I do....I feel soooo alone. And I feel like I'm not doing the right thing.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    9,280

    Default Re: Help feeling VERY depressed! another long one...


    It's going to be okay. You're right, the evenings are often referred to as the "witching hour" for a reason.

    Supply can be lower in the evening. My son got used to the fast flow, and expected it. So when he was impatient I used breast compressions.

    If you feel he is frustrated with a fast flow, try leaning back to nurse with him more on top of your breast so he can control the flow a little better.

    Here is a link to a thread from someone dealing with similar issues to you. There is LOTS of great advice in the thread that I think might help you.

    http://forums.llli.org/showthread.php?t=22482

    Lyn
    Lyn
    Nursing the girl with kaleidoscope eyes


    Mama to Daniel (12/3/06) and Lucy Jane (8/28/08)

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    1,987

    Default Re: Help feeling VERY depressed! another long one...

    You don't have to go to a meeting to talk to a leader. Give her a call on the phone and see what she says. It's so hard when we can't figure out what's going on with our little ones. Sometimes just remembering that this won't last forever helps a bit. Hang in there!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    202

    Question Re: Help feeling VERY depressed! another long one...

    Thank you...the replies from the other post did help...glad to know I'm not alone. I know it sounds silly, but what do I say when I call the LLL leader? The number that I have...is that most likely her private number or do they have a special number for this purpose? You would think they'd be getting a million calls a day!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    SoFL
    Posts
    6,237

    Default Re: Help feeling VERY depressed! another long one...

    when you call your local chapter, there will be a list ( i always get a recording) of all the leaders on call. they have the name and number, which is prob a home#. but they are on call for that day so it is ok for you to call, don't feel bad, it's what they are there for! i left a message for my leader and within 2 hours she called me back and was very helpful. things will get better, although it may not seem that way right now. hth
    Lisa
    Married to my Sugar Daddy
    Mom to Matt (5/14/97)
    James (11/8/06)
    Kelly Anne (3/14/08)
    Paul (3/11/10)

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    6,959

    Default Re: Help feeling VERY depressed! another long one...

    It does sound like evening time fussiness, but check this link to some signs of reflux just in case. Here is a great list of ways to sooth a fussy baby compiled by Dr. Sears.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    19,888

    Default Re: Help feeling VERY depressed! another long one...

    Ugh. The "unhappy hour(s)" are just AWFUL, aren't they? My daughter had her evening fussy time every night between 7 and 9 for about 2 months. "Fussy time" is a definite understatement, though- she was screaming like we were sticking her with red-hot pokers. I think she was too tired to feed effectively and too hungry to go to sleep.

    We resorted to an evening bottle. I was pumping anyway, to build up my supply, and we were doing a combination of breast and bottle feeding, so my daughter was used to the bottle. What worked for us was to have a nighttime bottle ready to go at precisely 7 pm. At her first cry, I would offer the breast, but if she wasn't into it, my husband would bottle-feed my daughter while I pumped. Something about the bottle calmed her down right away- perhaps the ease with which the milk came out. After a couple of months, she didn't need the evening bottle any more. She would just take the breast and be satisfied.

    Good luck!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Far away
    Posts
    2,448

    Default Re: Help feeling VERY depressed! another long one...

    I second the bottle idea. We had to give DS a bottle from day 9 onwards because he just wasn't eating enough and dropper/cup feeding were completely useless. I was sooooooo upset and stressed out about this. I was told by several people he wouldn't EVER breastfeed properly if I did this but here we are at 3 months with my DS happily latching on to my breast with no problems (and taking a bottle with no problems.) The best of both worlds - I easily returned to work and can leave the house for errands/visiting friends if I want.
    Andrea - mama to Laith 02.20.07 and Sommer 01.21.11
    'Either you repeat the same conventional doctrines everybody is saying, or else you say something true, and it will sound like it's from Neptune.' - Noam Chomsky

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    5

    Default Re: Help feeling VERY depressed! another long one...

    Have you tried swaddling your baby? My infant was getting really fussy all day long and then I remembered a friend gave me a Miracle Blanket, so I threw her in that and she has been an angel every since. She loves being wrapped up tight. I read up on swaddling to make sure it was okay and some babies like to be swaddled up to three months old. Sometimes they are just overstimulated. Good luck!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    202

    Default Re: Help feeling VERY depressed! another long one...

    My baby has never really liked swaddling....Daddy has done it a couple of times and got him to calm down, but I never had any luck...although I'm not real good at either. Any tips? Is there a special material blanket that's better than the other?

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