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Thread: Question for a friend...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    513

    Default Question for a friend...

    I am a first time mom and my LO is 3 months old so I don't have experience taking care of two babies at once...

    A friend of mine's sister in law just had a baby on Monday and she also has a 19 month old, when she brought the new baby home the 19 month old tried to pick up the baby by the head, when they saw this they freaked out which made the 19 month old freak out and hold him tighter (in a choke hold) and they had to pretty much pry the newborn out of her arms (makes me sick to my stomach thinking about it!). The baby seemed to be ok so they didn't go to the hospital or anything...but OMG...how scary! Does anyone have any advice for getting this toddler to learn that the baby is fragile? I suggested a playpen for now to keep either one of them in it so she can be sane, and babywearing so she doesn't have to constantly hold one of them. The toddler is soooo fast that she can't turn her back for even a second. She also has scratched him on the face and poked him in the eye.
    Looking forward to hearing your advice =)
    Mama to Evan Born February 1st 2007 Breastfeeding for a year...thinking of weaning
    Wife to my Best Friend KR



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    344

    Default Re: Question for a friend...

    My son did the samething when Kayleigh was 4 days old, scared me to death. She was in her swing and I walked away to get something, next thing I know she is screaming bloody murder and my 6 year old daughters runs to me and tells me he has her by the neck dragging her into his room. I explained to him how he could really hurt the baby and she is way to small right now. he never did it again but he is 3 years old. The 19 month old is probably a bit jealous, so he needs a lot of attention. Maybe when she is nursing she could read him a book. My Dr. suggested to me when Kayleigh is nursing have my hubby take the kids and spend time with them and when she isn't nursing for hubby to take over and I go spend time with the kids. She will need to keep a close eye on her son and new baby until he gets adjusted. It will take sometime. I think attention is the key here. Good luck to your friend and congrats to her.
    Wish I could be of more help but my kids are spaced 3 years apart.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    289

    Default Re: Question for a friend...

    Mine are spaced farther apart too, but I think separation is probably key when she can't be right there to supervise. A playpen or wearing the new baby is probably a really good idea. I think a 19 month old can understand quite a bit- but it's probably hard to really get them to understand being gentle, etc. And I also agree that it's probably a jealousy thing too. And there might be partly that the toddler is wanting to hold the baby as much as he sees everyone else hold the new baby, so he just really wants his turn too.

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