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Thread: sleeping problems with 16 month old

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    6

    Default sleeping problems with 16 month old

    hi ladies! my question is for those who have co slept and always nursed their babe to sleep. my son and i have always co slept. i nurse him to nap and throughout the night. he appears very tired to me. he seems to have bags under his eyes. i sometimes find myself wondering if some part of me is doing a small diservice to him for always nursing him to sleep. it bothers me that he is unable to fall back asleep himself and that, half the time, he wakes himself up looking for the boob, should i be out of the room. so for you who have co slept and are possibly done with it, if your babies are older and self weaned, some reassurance? will he sleep himself someday? (i know he will, it is just hard to believe right now) what are your experiances? i too am very tired. i have thought of slowly getting him used to a crib but in no way can i taumatize him (or me)so i probably won't do it.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    1,168

    Default Re: sleeping problems with 16 month old

    Yes, believe it! Some day he will indeed fall asleep without nursing, by himself, perhaps in his own bed and room.

    16 months is about when we made the big shift away from endless night nursing. My husband started playing a much larger role in the nighttime parenting, and we very soon found that when our toddler was sleeping with Daddy but not me, he wasn't waking every 2 hours looking for the breast. Everybody got much better sleep. A full-size mattress on the floor of his bedroom gave us lots of flexibility in terms of who lay down with him to go to sleep, who joined him there later in the night, and even let him come find us in the night if he woke up lonely (he wasn't stuck behind crib rails, so he could just walk out of his room and into ours, usually accomplished without any crying or any disturbance to our rest.)

    As you get past his 2nd birthday, he will develop the cognitive ability to understand a reward system. We had great success around age 2.5 with "sticker cards" under my son's pillow at bedtime to encourage him in a non-punitive way to learn to fall asleep by himself. And as the Pantley book _The No-Cry Sleep Solution_ explains so beautifully, how a child falls asleep plays a huge role in whether he stays asleep for long periods.

    My now-4yo DS always goes to sleep in his own bed -- alone if I have put him to bed, or with my DH lying next to him if Daddy is doing bedtime (DH's preference; he enjoys the quiet time together at the end of the day.) Almost always, DS joins us in our bed during the night or in early morning, but once in a while he stays in his bed all night.

    About those bags under his eyes -- forget about the nighttime for a moment, how are his daytime naps going? After I read the Pantley book when 10mo DS was killing me with sleep deprivation, I focused on his naps and everything got much better with small changes.

    --Rebecca

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: sleeping problems with 16 month old

    Around 16 months is when I insisted DH really start helping me with the night stuff. I had just had a miscarriage, and DS was nursing every hour at night. He is a great eater and was allowed full access nursing during the day, which he took advantage of, but this got to be too much for me. I started to get really run down and was one unhappy mom during the day, and nights were terrible. But if DS could see or smell me, he screamed until I relented, and then I would cry in frustration and exhaustion. Not a pretty sight at 3AM, and nobody was getting any sleep. So I ended up having to move from the family bed. He sleeps with Daddy, and he hardly wakes at all now. Daddy puts him to sleep with rocking and then lays him down in the bed, and if he wakes before Daddy goes to bed, I slip in and nurse him back down. Then I go to my bed and crash (thankfully!) and Daddy goes in to sleep with DS. Sounds crazy, but it has worked for us.

    16 months is also when the napping routine became suddenly easier for us. DS started taking one long nap in the middle of the day instead of these cat-naps that recharged his energy but not his attitude

    A friend of DH's recently told us their 3 year old told her "bye-bye" one night and disappeared. She found him asleep in his bed a few minutes later! It will happen!
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    1

    Default Re: sleeping problems with 16 month old

    hi,
    i am having the same prblems.My 17mnths old son is getting up 5 or 6 times a night and doesnt sleep again withut being fed.i m having terrible time.If u find some good suggestions let me know.

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