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Thread: About to cry

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2007

    Default About to cry

    I'm so exhausted from trying to make breastfeeding work. My daughter is two weeks and I'm having trouble nursing her. Despite my constant efforts to nurser her, she never gets full to her content. I feel my milk supply might be dwindling, but still there. I no longer get a full feeling. She also constantly falls asleep during feedings. I read that they should suck for 10-15minutes per breast...yet to me that would be a dream. She will suck at my right side for a few minutes and that's about it. My left side seems like a lost cause. I rarely hear swallowing at that side. Either way when she is awake for a feeding she will get frustrated after about 5 minutes of feeding as if she can't get more out. Yet I check and there is milk to be had...just not flowing like a river like the beginning of the feeding.

    We have been supplementing since 3 days after birth (she lost 11% of her birth weight). Today I gave a go at not supplementing and just trying to make her really work at it if she's hungry. That ended in frustration. She would suck for her 5 minutes then when I took her off and didn't give her supplemental she got upset and fussed. Even when I gave her my breast she fussed at it. So she was still hungry, upset and then because she was still hungry she wouldn't nap. I seriously am about to have a breakdown and just start all out crying.

    Not to mention my 3 year old has been getting the shaft since I've been spending all of my day trying to feed the baby or get her to sleep. So in return I get her rebellion which just adds to the stress. Not to mention the fact that we are moving in three days.

    According to an article on Medela's website, she seems to have a problem transferring milk which is causing her ineffective feeding. It says to refer to a lactation consultant or doctor, yet I have and their advice to give her the breast every time she cries has hot helped the situation one bit...just added to my anxiety.

    Please someone help. I'm about to give up breastfeeding if this continues any longer. It just seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel for this turning into exclusively breastfeeding without supplementing.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2006

    Default Re: About to cry

    i'm sorry, honey those are rough days.
    i cant say that what i did was a) recommended or b) a good idea but it's what worked for ME.
    i could not handle the stress of trying and struggling to breastfeed. and i felt like a failure and that was not an option for me. so when ds and i just couldnt do it anymore, i started pumping and giving him a bottle. i figured, at least he was getting mommy's milk...it was not easy, i pumped every single time he ate, day and night for 2months. and then one day he was still hungry after eating his bottle, i gave him the breast and we've had the best breastfeeding relationship that one could hope for since then.
    i'm not suggesting that YOU do that....i'm just telling you my story, to tell you not to give up! you will find a way!
    i'm sure the mommies on this board that did stick it out and continue breastfeeding throught the hard times will help you out with your questions.

    *also, when ds did start bf, he only ate for 5 min on one side....and that was good for him....10-15min never happened for us except for while we were in the hospital
    Casey, mother to a cuckoo boy
    Guillaume~ a birthday present for his mommy 11~9~06
    still breastfeeding, co-sleeping and cloth diapering

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2007

    Default Re: About to cry

    I'm just lurking on this thread but I am so sorry to hear how frustrated you are. Know that you are doing a great job doing the best you can. I have experience trying to balance a newborn's needs with a 3-year old's and it is really, really tough. I know it doesn't seem that way, but it WILL get better, I promise!

    Do you have anyone to help out with your older child right now? Just so you can focus getting your new babe going??? I hate to say this, but if you have to, relax your standards for a few days. My daughter watched too many videos and ate a lot of chicken nuggets for a couple of days after my son came home from the hospital. After we got a little bit adjusted, things went back to normal. It's really OK. Really. Do the best you can. Cut yourself some slack. Also remember that your older child's world has been rocked too and he/she is adjusting as well.

    I think the most valuable thing I can suggest to you is to call a La Leche Leader for some help. That's what they're there for and that's what they love to do. I could type out suggestions for dealing with all your issues, but it sounds like you would benefit from some personalized, specific recommendations and they'll give you that and lots of support.

    Best of luck to you. You can get through this!!!!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    New Orleans, LA

    Default Re: About to cry

    Please don't be discouraged. I KNOW how you feel. We've been there and things seemed to get worse and worse and worse; then around 6 wks. everything just started working right and was so natural.

    As for the 3 yr. old, that is so tough. I will soon be in your boat with a newborn and a 19 month old who was just weaned.

    It is so hard in the beginning, but once you cross that hump (you'll know when it happens) it gets soooo easy that you can't imagine it any other way! No real advice, just some encouragement! Hugs to you.
    Mother - Wife - Artist - Cook - Writer - EnvironMENTAList - Cloth Diaperer (but we are soooo done with diapers) - Organic Health Nut...I'm sure there's more.

    DD1 - 12/15/05 Breastfed for 16.5 months
    DD2 - 8/6/07 Breastfed for 3 whole years and 3 little, extra days.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2007

    Default Re: About to cry

    dont give up...and u know if u have to supplement till u get supply up its ok..stress dosnt help ur supply. if u give her a bottle...still pump after that...pump every 3 hrs what i did was i put dd to breast and if she fell asleep id stimulate to wake her or if she still acted hungry i gave a bottle....i think alot of times we feel like we are failing because we supplement but ur not ur still nursing....im not sure if u said but have u tried fenugreek? im for anything that will help some ppl say dont do meds but why not ur helping ur self so u can help ur baby my OPINION.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2006

    Default Re: About to cry

    How has her weight gain been?

    You are doing a great job. You are working to give your daughter the best nutrition. Keep up the good work. The early part is the hardest, and it can only get better.

    Why did you start supplementing to begin with? By day 3, a lot of mothers don't even have their milk in yet, and that is totally normal. Now, though, she is used to getting satisfaction and full, fast and easy from a bottle nipple, and she is frustrated with the slow milk flow from the breast. You are right to try to reduce the amount you are supplementing, and if she is at least taking the breast, half the battle is already over! Have you tried pumping, in between feedings, to increase your supply? If I were you, and baby's weight gain is adequate, I would really try to ditch the supplement.

    I am sure its hard to handle a toddler and a new baby. I am about to have another, and I am sure I will only realize then how difficult it is. I agree with the pp...can you find someone to help out with the older child to give you some time to get to bed with that new baby and nurse, nurse, nurse?

    Unfortunately, the LC is right...you need to nurse when she fusses and that may be an awful lot of nursing. That's how it is in the first 6 weeks...it will seem like that's all you do.

    Wife to a grizzly
    Mama to my little deer (12/05) my loving bear cub (9/07--), and our little tiger (3/22/10)
    Born by one c-section and 2 amazing VBACs

    Miles in 2012: 350.5/900 (Actual Miles Ran: 189)
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    January Miles: 37.5/75
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    227.5 miles on my new shoes
    338 miles on my old shoes

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2006

    Default Re: About to cry

    Have you seen a LC or just talked to her? Having an IBCLC evaluate you while you feed would be a really good idea so she can tell you if your LO is transferring milk effectively. Hang in there! It does get easier, but starting out can be pretty rough.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2006

    Default Re: About to cry

    It can be very very rough! I understand how you feel and somehow (not sure how!) I got through it. I threw my dh out of the bed to the guest room and slept with my dd - everytime she cried, i latched her on..sometimes she would sleep and eat, but it helped her: increase my supply, me get some rest, and her to feed on breast milk only. She lost 9% of her weight and didn't get back up to it for 4 weeks. She ate for 3-6 minute bursts about 30 times a day and wasn't getting enough. She would get tired and fall asleep only to wake up 15-20 min later still hungry! It was the most difficult thing I have been through - I thought I was starving her and I couldn't stop crying about it.

    Since you are supplementing her regularly, maybe cut that down to every other feed and so on until you don't need to do that - just do it gradually to work up your confidence about it and wean her off it. During the day, sleep when she does, and if you can get someone to watch her so you can pump regularly - that will increase your supply. Invest in a good pump. Do nothing but sleep, pump and feed. Is there anyone who can help you with your other lo? I know you feel like you are neglecting him - but you will return to him very shortly and in good form once you come out of this

    You have a lot of stress to deal with. Establishing bfing can be horrendous. Having a baby is very hard whether you bf or not. Moving is hard too. Just take care of yourself - remember you and the lo come first right now. Everything else can wait. Hire movers. Don't do anything else if at all possible but feed the baby and take care of yourself. Also, do call a certified LC to come visit and help you get through this. They can observe the situation and help you. hth!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2006

    Default Re: About to cry

    I just wanted to add my dd is now 5 months old (22 weeks), bfs 4-5 times a day in addition to once at 10 pm and again at 4-5 am. She is over 16 1/2pounds and doing wonderfully - she caught up on that weight she initially lost! You can do this! And you will feel great about it once you get through these dark days.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2007

    Default Re: About to cry

    What your baby (and your 3 year old) needs most is a happy and well-rested Mommy! Don't forget to take care of yourself. If you need to supplement some, supplement, let go of the guilt!

    But try and stick with it!!! You'll be so glad you did. I have a friend whose baby refused the breast for the first 13 weeks, she continued to pump (she invested in a really great pump, I think she rented it from the hospital) and finally, at week 13, baby started to nurse again and they had a wonderful nursing relationship until baby turned 2.

    Angela (AP), mommy to Charlotte Rose (12/22/06) and Ruby (7/30/09) http://lettiebuzz.blogspot.com/

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