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Thread: Is this okay?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    19

    Question Is this okay?

    As some of you may have read in my previous post, I would like to re-lactate. However, I can't spend all of the time I need to bring in a supply( pumping), or even BF regularly because I don't have the time. Also, my DH is not supportive of relactation at all. He wanted my to stop BFing for his birthday present. Sometimes when it is just my DD and I, I will latch her on just to soothe her. I still have milk, but not enough to nourish her, so she takes formula. Is it okay that I BF her only sometimes just for soothing and bonding purposes? Does the milk in my breasts go bad since it has been sitting there for a few days or maybe even a week without being expressed? I seem to have quite a bit of milk still, and she will even stay latched on for a long time and I can hear her swallow. I believe that I had some over production issues which made BFing so miserable in the first place. I haven't BF'd her for nourishment in almost 2 weeks, but I've latched her for soothing a few times over the last week. It is nice, my nipples no longer hurt and my breasts have softened and are no longer painful and I feel like I can finally enjoy bonding with her while BFing even though I am not her main source of nourishment. Does this make any sense? Am I going to make her sick, feeding her "stale" breastmilk?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    18,063

    Default Re: Is this okay?

    your milks not bad or spoiled!
    some older todlers only nurse at night to go to bed or in the morning when they get up.
    IT doesn't have to be an all or nothing nursing relationship.
    you have to do what you feal comfortable with.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    683

    Default Re: Is this okay?

    I've read your previous posts and you know, it hasn't been very long since you have cut back on the nursing. If you just put your baby to your breast each time she wants to nurse and then supplement her after those nursing sessions then I think you'll have your milk back in no time at all. The key is to build your supply back up while slowly decreasing the supplements.

    And, as the previous poster stated, your milk never goes bad Nurse your baby as often as you want to!

    I'm sorry that your husband is unsupportive. Perhaps you could find the support you need at LLL meetings?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    179

    Default Re: Is this okay?

    I am so sorry that you are having to go through this with your hubby. That must be hard. Maybe he is jealous for your time? One thing you could tell him that might make him feel better, is that it is actually quicker and easier to nurse babies. Bottles are very time consuming in preparation, cost, ect... The breast is so quick and easy. Nothing to sterilize. Just put the baby to breast and walla! Baby is fed! Those first few weeks of nursing are rough, but after that, it is usually smooth sailing and easier in the long run. Those first few weeks of going through the pain, pay off in the end. Like the others mentioned, the milk never goes bad like formula. It is amazing how our bodies are created for the babies. Even our breast milk adapts in its content as the baby grows and matures. I do think that in now time, your little one will be taking much more of you. It is wonderful that she is latching so well after bottles. Happy nursing to you!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    19

    Default Re: Is this okay?

    Thanks for your responses ladies!

    I've been nursing her 1-2 times per day since that last post. Although, DH doesn't know about it. He and my DS are going on a 3 day camping trip tommorrow, and I am going to try to nurse her more frequently while they are gone. If things go well, I will tell him I started BFing again when they return.

    The weird thing is, that when I nurse her she stays on continuously. She does not get frustrated because of low output she sucks until she falls asleep and that is BEFORE a supplement. I think that I have quite a bit of milk still because when I manually express, it sprays across the room . Is this normal for being about 3 1/2 weeks since exclusively BFing/pumping? Like I said before, I think that I may of had some oversupply problems.

    I do however wish that we could exclusively nurse. I wish that I would have never given her a bottle and would have seeked a LC's advice earlier in our BF relationship. This is probably going to be my last baby and I have many regrets, as I was determined to make this work because it didn't with my DS. I find myself a bit depressed about it.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Charleston SC
    Posts
    2,601

    Default Re: Is this okay?

    Please do not feel any guilt, You make the beast descions that you can at the time... How did everything go after the camping trip?

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    19

    Default Re: Is this okay?

    Well, while the boys were gone I spent the entire first day BFing my little one. It went well, but I haven't been able to spend that much time at it since that first day (last Wed.) I am just so busy, and all of the time that relactation would take I just don't have it. My DH works about 60 hours per week, and we have a 2 year old plus I am going back to work it another 2 weeks. Also, since that day I've been BFing her once or twice per day, and she is just soooooo irritable all of the time. I don't know if she is confused or what. Also, she went from sleeping through the night, to waking up at night. I'm struggling for a routine as it is, and I'm afraid this is making it harder. And, I don't have any support. I haven't yet told my husband about BFing her again, and I would never tell my mother because she would think that I am crazy. Those two were so fast to suggest I quit BFing in the first place and I'm afraid I hold a bit of resentment towards the both of them for it. I don't know....I just wish I could go back and do it all over again. I would have done things differently. Which makes me already think about having a third child even though we were going to stop at two, just so I could try this again. I don't know why I am so guilt ridden over this, I just wish I could let it go...It is making it hard to enjoy my baby.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    179

    Default Re: Is this okay?

    I am so sorry to hear how things are going with your family. Is there any way that you can talk with your husband and tell him that the bottle is just too time consuming and that to bf would be much easier for you now that your baby is a little bit older? That this would allow more time for him and other things? Maybe he would soften towards bf. When the babies are little, they do go through growth spurts and little things where they fuss more than when they are older. Have you heard of the book "Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Karp? In the book, it talks about the 4th trimester that babies go through. They are still adjusting outside of the womb. It sounds like to me that you do have a milk supply, you just need to keep nursing to build it up more. Try to nurse at least every three hours to keep the supply going. To just nurse two times a day, might not be enough stimulation to keep things going in the long run. Even if you just nurse for 15 min. on each side (try to go as long as baby likes though) for every three hours, that will do a lot to build up your supply. Let us know how things are going. You are really doing great!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    683

    Default Re: Is this okay?

    I agree with the sentiment expressed by Anne Marie -- why not try to discuss this with your husband? Breastfeeding is not an all-or-none situation. You certainly can still nurse your baby during the time that you are with her. You will maintain a milk supply during those times (our bodies are pretty amazing!). Breastfeeding is obviously important to you and your husband will probably understand if you express this to him. Or at least if he doesn't "get it", maybe he'll be respectful enough to back off and let you mother your baby in this way?

    I am so sorry for you that you are feeling the way you are. You are still really early into this breastfeeding game though and given the right amount of motivation and support, you CAN succeed. Is there any way that you could attend LLL meetings to get the support you need?

    And as Anne Marie also mentioned, babies go through growth spurts and just general times of fussiness and unhappiness. It's rarely related to breastfeeding. It's just a normal part of being an infant.

    I wish you the best of luck!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    5

    Default Re: Is this okay?

    Lots of babies will 'comfort nurse' well after milk is gone. Alot of adoptive parents will offer a breast to calm and attach to children who were never breastfed. It's not all about the milk.

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