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Thread: crying mommy alert - did i do the right thing?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    86

    Default crying mommy alert - did i do the right thing?

    help me!
    my 18-pound 3.5 month old son has been a beast to nurse for a couple weeks now, no matter what i do. he won't take ebm from a bottle, either. today was the worst - he was so hungry i could hear his tummy growling, and he wouldn't take a nap. i'm struggling with a cold right now and just didn't have the strength to fight with dh about this. he said, "maybe he's ready for solids?" again. i said no way, because last week when i tried to put a spoon in his mouth, he still had the tongue thrust reflex, and shows minimal interest in food. well, in my frustration/exhaustion/desparation, i mixed up the sample of milupa rice cereal that had been *shudder* so kindly included in my welcome wagon bag. well, wouldn't you know, he took to it like he's been eating his whole life, while i choked back tears. after eating at least 2 tablespoons, he told me he was done, latched on to my breast and nursed to sleep. i finally let loose with the tears.
    can someone please offer me some reassurance here? was i wrong to do this, or does it sound like my baby boy was ready? does it make sense that one so big might be ready for solids a little early?
    i'm off to pump now, so this doesn't disrupt my supply too badly...and cry some more over my baby growing up way too fast (as i brace myself to hear, "told you so," from everyone who's been trying to convince me that you can't exclusively breastfeed for 6 months.)

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    435

    Default Re: crying mommy alert - did i do the right thing?

    You know, when baby is happy and you are resting, I say you did the right thing.

    DD has been on single grain rice cereal since 2 months. She was born at 10 lbs and I was convinced not geting quite enough to fill her. Maybe I was wrong maybe I was right - but i give her 1 tablespoon at 10 PM every night and she has slept through the night since then.

    To ME, there is a HUGE difference between rice cereal and "solid food." I mean you gave him cereal, not a big mac *smile*. If this little cereal makes everyone involved feel better - then I say go for it.

    I usd to feel guilt because I would read things about bf and then would hear a lot of moms do the whole "I don;t give him/her anything at all besides bm for a year!" and then I realized that it works great for them - but for us - this worked. And the guilt went away.

    You are doing great - get some rest

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    23

    Default Re: crying mommy alert - did i do the right thing?

    Could this be a nursing strike?

    Also, I read in the book "My Child Won't Eat" by Carlos Gonzalez that some time around 3-4 months (has been a while since I read the book) babies tend to start to nurse a lot less and lots of mom's worry. I know you said that you could hear his tummy rumbling, but maybe he's just slowing down, assuming your dr. has given him a clean bill of health.

    I went through something similar with my dd around the same age (and I pumped as well) and everthing just kind of took its own course and turned out just fine.

    Sounds like you're doing great, going with your gut and all... (poor wording?)

    kms

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    2,866

    Default Re: crying mommy alert - did i do the right thing?

    Quote Originally Posted by geez_louise
    can someone please offer me some reassurance here? was i wrong to do this, or does it sound like my baby boy was ready? does it make sense that one so big might be ready for solids a little early?
    i'm off to pump now, so this doesn't disrupt my supply too badly...and cry some more over my baby growing up way too fast (as i brace myself to hear, "told you so," from everyone who's been trying to convince me that you can't exclusively breastfeed for 6 months.)

    I can't tell you if you were right or wrong to offer solids to your baby. It's simply not my place (or anyone else's) to judge that.

    I can tell you, though, that a baby's size has absolutely NOTHING to do with readiness for solids. Bigger babies do not need "more", though many would try to lead us to believe this is true.

    I can tell you, too, that it is absolutely possible to exclusively breastfeed for six months...or more. It all depends on baby's physical readiness.

    I'm wondering if your baby's behavior might have signaled something other than hunger, and therefore, the need for solids? What do you think?

    I want to note, too, that commercial infant rice cereal has about 20 calories per 2 tbs of dry cereal. Breastmilk has about 22-24 calories per ounce. Breastmilk wins, hands down. Also, note that it's a well-circulated myth that cereal helps babies sleep better! Studies have proven that the link is just not there. One theory for the connection is that the introduction of cereal coincides with a baby's naturally gained ability to sleep for longer stretches.

    Here's some links you might find helpful (be warned that most contain info re: not starting solids early):
    http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/so...ay-solids.html
    http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/so...lids-when.html
    http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/so...olids-how.html
    http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/solids/index.html
    http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/vi...dcalories.html
    Links about your baby not nursing:
    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...e-nursing.html
    http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns...ible-baby.html

    HTH!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
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    7

    Default Re: crying mommy alert - did i do the right thing?

    I think home executive has given you a lot of good information. Please read through that. There are definate risks to giving a baby rice cereal too young. It is important that a baby show all signs of readiness (including sitting independantly) and that no arbitrary date be used to decide when he's ready. Some babies are ready before six months and many well after. Also consider that if a baby is given thinly made rice cereal, it is often the consistency of hindmilk and not really a solid at all.

    Also, please keep in mind that having given solids doesn't mean you have to continue to do so. Many mothers mistakenly think that once solids have been given you've started a course that must be continued. Solids need not be continued, or given every day, just because they've been started. This IS something you can change your mind about.

    I encourage you to read the information home executive has given you (as well as the link below) and to decide what feels right to you. It actually sounds to me like you have very good instincts and I think you should follow them. It also sounds like you have a lot of pressure not to trust your nursing relationship to come through as you feel like it could. I assure you, you are the expert on your baby. Please trust that and listen to yourself over all the fearful noise around you.

    You mentioned that you have had a cold. Have you been taking medication for that? Are you aware that many cold medications cause a (temporary) drop in milk supply for many women? It is easily fixed by stopping the medication and frequent nursing.

    Do you know what cluster nursing is? Many babies begin to cluster nurse as they get closer to sleeping longer stretches at night.

    Here's a great article about Cluster Nursing and Fussy Evenings
    http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/fussy-evening.html

    It sounds like you had a frustrating evening that ended in heartache. Every mother has bad days. You are not alone or a bad mother. You are a loving, committed mother who simply wants desperately for her baby to be happy and healthy. He's lucky to have you.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    86

    Default Re: crying mommy alert - did i do the right thing?

    thanks so much everyone for your support. it seems like we've gotten through the worst of this little blip. Adam is nursing much better now, and not really fussing at all.
    I think he's just starting to teethe and had been nursing a little less over the last few weeks (so subtle i hadn't really noticed) and finally the change caught up with me, and my supply dropped, making him even more frustrated. I've managed to get my supply back up and my little one is happy as a clam. the doctor looked at him yesterday and says he's just fine.
    i had already read most of those links (thanks anyway!) and know that the general consensus is not to offer anything but the breast during a strike, but i think i did the right thing - it gave us all the chance to collect ourselves so we could get through the strike.

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