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Thread: Are extended nursers spoiled?

  1. #11
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    18

    Default Re: Are extended nursers spoiled?

    I agree with the above and would like to add that my first bfed untill she was 2.9 and my second was born so I tried tandem but wasn't getting ANY sleep so I let my 1st cry 2 nights and then she was weened.
    If anything I feel bad not 'spoiling her' more because now I feel that was a connection I can't get back and probably would have lasted naturlay at least another few months or so. Now she's 5 and off to Kindergarten next year. I can't believe how fast those bfeeding years went!
    SPOIL ON!
    Last edited by nycmama; May 4th, 2007 at 10:46 PM.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    289

    Default Re: Are extended nursers spoiled?

    I'm glad someone posted the quote from Dr. Sears. When I read the original thread starter it was in the back of my mind that I had read something he said about spoiling children- but couldn't remember exactly what it was.

    I think a lot of times that people think call children spoiled when they are very clingy to their parents. Here's my thoughts on the matter.

    I nursed my oldest (now 12) until he was almost a full year old. He weaned himself, but looking back now it was likely a nursing strike- and I just wasn't educated enough to know the difference. He was also supplemented with formula because my supply just wasn't enough ( was working 80+ hours a week and not able to pump much.) He wasn't really ever called spoiled- but now is a very self-directed child able to function very independently with me rarely ever needing to nudge him to do his chores or homework.

    Hannah and Rebekah (8 and 3) were both nursed exclusively until they were 18 months old. Both didn't start on solids really well until about 10 months because they reacted to first foods- so solids were delayed. They did get fed my milk in bottles because I was still working full-time. Both were called spoiled by family members/friends because they were fairly clingy- especially Rebekah after I quit working when she was 15 months old. She then picked back up nursing multiple times a day because she had me all to herself. She was called spoiled quite a bit for this reason since she got where she wanted no one but me. Today she is the most independent of the lot. She will try foods the others won't even touch, and will go pretty much anywhere- with me or without me.

    So- I think that for a brief period in their lives these 3 were totally spoiled. And I have no shame for that. My ds that is almost nine months will likely be the most spoiled of them all because I work only occasionally and he is total booby monster. My hope is that he won't wean himself until well past 18 months. But I think that a little "spoiling" now goes a long way towards helping them see that their needs can be met- and that will profit me well adjusted kids who feel confident because they never had to worry that they wouldn't get fed when they were hungry.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    239

    Default Re: Are extended nursers spoiled?

    I would say absolutely not. My dd has to share me with six older children and now a new baby on the way. She does daily chores to help around the house and is very independant. Now she does have occassional meltdowns about things like preschoolers will but she also is able to take a lot of things in stride.

    I think a child that nurses is going to have a tendency to be a lot less demanding.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Are extended nursers spoiled?

    What is mommyof3 blog? Or where do I find it?

    Thanks,

  5. #15
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    361

    Default Re: Are extended nursers spoiled?

    It's my blog, it is in my signature, at the bottom of this post. The post the original writer is referring to is here: http://thesfamilychronicles.blogspot...04/peeved.html

    We had a b-day party for my 4 and 1 year olds and one of our invited guests stood on my deck and referred to my children as spoiled little expletives. This person did not know that my mom was listening to him talk. Needless to say we were very upset and I felt the need to express my thoughts on my blog. Rest assured that person will never be welcome in my home again.
    http://thesfamilychronicles.blogspot.com

    "At the heart of motherhood is the kind of satisfaction unequalled in any other profession on earth."
    -Tina Neidlein


    Isaac- 1/1/01 Nursed only 4 months, had no idea what I was doing.
    Nathan- 4/28/03 preemie, 1 month NICU stay and still managed exclusive nursing for 6 months, better.
    Anna- 4/15/06 Self weaned just after turning 3.
    Baby girl due May 14th

  6. #16
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    The Twilight Zone
    Posts
    282

    Default Re: Are extended nursers spoiled?

    In a word, no.
    "You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    1,048

    Default Re: Are extended nursers spoiled?

    Ya know, if my daughter were to go to someone else's home as a guest and insult their young children, then I might regret the way I brought her up. Who's the "spoiled brat" in that story? That's RUDE.

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