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Thread: I am so sad!

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    New Orleans, LA
    Posts
    5,036

    Default Re: I am so sad!

    Quote Originally Posted by sarasmom View Post
    If she is not a mommy yet, she just doesn't 'get it'! She may very well change her mind when her little one is still nursing after a year.
    Most of my friends are mommies and still don't get it. The one who isn't a mommy seemed to be the most interested and encouraging, yet just the other day (before we were weaned) she said, "I can't believe you're still doing that." I, easily, could have said that to someone before falling in love with my daughter and our nursing relationship. It's just ignorance.

    Anyway, I know how hurtful it can be when you feel betrayed by someone you trust. Sorry and know that this, too, will pass.

    You know you're doing the right thing. And I know that dd and I would not have been so successful if not for dh attending bf classes with us and helping us with positioning and latching after my c-section. Hang in there!
    Mother - Wife - Artist - Cook - Writer - EnvironMENTAList - Cloth Diaperer (but we are soooo done with diapers) - Organic Health Nut...I'm sure there's more.

    DD1 - 12/15/05 Breastfed for 16.5 months
    DD2 - 8/6/07 Breastfed for 3 whole years and 3 little, extra days.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    18

    Default Re: I am so sad!

    Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I signed up on this forum precisely to find support when it comes to people like that. I hope she appolagizes on her own and if not I think a healthy confrontation may help you. Although she'll probably say something like,"If it were mine I would never blah blah whatever." But your relationship with your children isn't about her it's about what you know is right. Don't let her undermine you. While it may hurt, please stay proud and don't let a comment like that shame you. I know she's a good friend of yours but frankly, I think her attitude is disgusting.
    I am bfeeding a 2 1/2 year old here in Manhattan and I may as well be a circus act compared to most of the women I'm around all day. I try not to care what they think but it's hard sometimes.
    Well hope that helps! NURSE ON!

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    19

    Default Re: I am so sad!

    Thank you all so much for your support!

    The worst part is that my friend IS a mother (she never made it out of the hospital with breastfeeding). I could go on and on over my disapppointment with her choice NOT to BF, but I try to keep my opinions to myself -- and I COULD get mean!

    I love BFing and I am so thankful for this website. I have been so upset by my friend's comment, I have stopped talking about my son completely with her -- actually I have been distant and cold. (I am still too upset to confront her.) We are moving in June and maybe this move will be for the best (easier than a messy "friend" break-up).

    Thank you again!

    Julie

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    30

    Default Re: I am so sad!

    As you should be sad! This is your support network... well, supposed to be. I was lucky enough to remove friends like this from my life by the time I was 25. My two best friends, while we might not always share the same opinions on things, do so with the issues that are most important to me. Also understand that even if they didn't agree, they would support me completely. And on the issue of bf, I honestly didn't think I would even be bf this long!

    The way I see it, is that I feel bad for anyone who has the nerve to attack me or my young... for any reason. It's as simple as telling your gf you like her shoes, but not telling her if you don't like them and she didn't ask. It's so politically correct for some of these women to take a bf class, because everyone is doing it, and then they are usually the ones who could careless after the first week when they need their sleep. Do not forget these things when you put your guard up when you talk to these types of people!

    The other day I had a woman at a Walmart start a simple " How lovely the weather is convo and how hot it is in here" conversation. I told her how I was hot all the time and when she asked why I told her because my baby was teething and nursing on and off a lot more frequently and I felt like we were permanently attached. Not with me, she asked how old. I told her: 9 months. She suddenly made a face like I hurled on her shoes and said, " Don't you think it's about time you stop that? He's too old for that!" I replied to her, " You asked me about the weather, not my opinions on my own personal decisions to which you have no right to an opinion. Besides, I didn't look at your overweight body and tell you to but back the calories did I?" She says, " Oh, now that's just rude!" I replied, " Taste of your own medicine tastes like **** doesn't it?!?" And I swear, a line of about 14 women literally applauded me and told the woman she needed to learn to mind her business if she couldn't behave in public! lol

    Now sure, not everyone can say what I can, but know in your heart you are right. So incredibly right because doing what you feel is right makes you and your baby so incredibly happy and would break your hearts and put you through termoil if you listened to them! And know that by you coming out and saying you're STILL nursing your baby, allows me to pull strength to tell those people how I feel, as Drew and I venture into toddlerhood without the slightest thought to weaning

    Enjoy every moment of this beautiful relationship you have created. Pitty your friends who have to miss out!

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    19

    Default Re: I am so sad!

    Quote Originally Posted by MamaCow View Post
    " You asked me about the weather, not my opinions on my own personal decisions to which you have no right to an opinion. Besides, I didn't look at your overweight body and tell you to but back the calories did I?" She says, " Oh, now that's just rude!" I replied, " Taste of your own medicine tastes like **** doesn't it?!?" !
    Wow, way to go! My husband was just looking over my shoulder and reading my post and said (sweetly), "Wow, you must have been very upset to still be writing about what happened" and yes, I am upset!

    You are so right in saying all these women take these classes because it is the thing to do, but as soon as it gets a bit tough, they are breaking out the bottles and the formula!

    I am proud of myself and I am so happy that in this crazy world, I can give this gift to my son. I (we) didn't take the easy road and I (we) shouldn't feel like we have to watch what we say and worry not to offend women who didn't have this amazing experience. My friend hurt me and I am more mad at myself for not confronting her decisions right then -- I was too shocked and too hurt.

    Thank you all so much for your support, this board has truly been my rock!

    Julie

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Oh FFS!
    Posts
    10,008

    Default Re: I am so sad!

    Quote Originally Posted by nycmama View Post
    But your relationship with your children isn't about her it's about what you know is right.

    I am bfeeding a 2 1/2 year old here in Manhattan and I may as well be a circus act compared to most of the women I'm around all day. I try not to care what they think but it's hard sometimes.
    Well hope that helps! NURSE ON!
    Your first comment is spot on! Bravo!

    Another bravo for being in manhattan and not giving a crap. I know it's hard not to (I had friends who did just that in manhattan and never once did I say anything). I have to say that DH and I would be in the car going home from dinner and be amazed that she was still nursing. I even said that once they know how to ask, blah, blah, blah. Things definitely change when you're the mother. I'm so glad that I kept whatever comments I had to myself or within me and DH. Now I totally admire her and you.

    Lazlo'smom, keep in mind that she may be feeling a bit left out as well. Friendships change once children are introduced. On the other hand, totally out of line to say that in a public forum. You do what's best for your child and encourage your other friend in her decision to breastfeed. Either she comes around or she doesn't. I always look at it like weeding out the bad seeds. Do you really want that energy around you and your LO? That's always my question to myself.
    Last edited by @llli*mothersky; May 7th, 2007 at 08:12 PM.

    Mama to my little Diva: Miss K (7/15/06)
    And her little sister: Lulu Pie (3/21/09)

    "Don't toush da mango"
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    My body creates, houses, nurtures and nourishes life. That is awesome.
    Kegel Kop says: TIGHTEN UP!

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