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Thread: Can I get her to comfort nurse?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    53

    Default Can I get her to comfort nurse?

    Hello,

    I don't want to sound "needy" but I do have a big part of me that wants to be needed by my baby, for more than food.

    My DS is almost exclusively breastfed which has been up and down to say the least, but we've been sticking to it.

    I notice that when she is done eating, and just wants to suck, of when she is fussy due to gas or something, she doesn't want the breast and prefers to suck on her paci. It's like she thinks I'm "food only," and other sucking needs are met by the paci. I know the easy answer to this is "elminate the paci," but what do you do when you are trying to comfort a baby with the breast, and she is crying about it? How do you comfort a baby with the breast when she is all hysterical about it? I was told that if the baby starts to cry at the breast to take her away, cause you don't want her to associate negativity with the breast (especially if you have recently been dealing with a bottle preferance issue to bat, like me).

    I don't know if this sounds silly, like, why do I want to be my baby's pacifer, but I have waited a long time for this child, and I want to be her comforter too, not just her food. Is it wrong to want to be needed in this way by my baby?

    Any suggestions?

    Lisa

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    189

    Smile Re: Can I get her to comfort nurse?

    I don't have any suggestions...I'm sorry. Does she fall asleep with paci in mouth? Maybe you can slip it out when she is almost asleep and offer breast and if she accepts it than maybe she'll start to accept it at other times.

    But, I do want to let you know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to comfort nurse. So don't worry about that.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    8,591

    Default Re: Can I get her to comfort nurse?

    My dd is exactly the same and I do wish sometimes that she needed me for that. She is soooo hard to get to sleep and I just wish sometimes I could offer her the breast and have her suck herself to sleep. My nephew does that and everytime he eats he falls asleep. It seems so easy!!!!

    And I understand what you are saying because that seems to be everyone's answer--take the paci away. But I just can't seem to listen to her cry (for what I think is a really easily solved problem--insert binker) and she absolutely refuses (screams and arches her back) the breast for anything except food. So, I have just come to the realization that the paci will comfort her when it comes to sucking and I will hold her and rock her and love her for comfort, just like I would if she had been bottlefed. I have a slight eating problem anyway...emotional eating...so I guess in a way its good for her to learn that food isn't the answer (I don't know if there is any real psychological merit to that but its what I have come up with to make myself feel better ).

    My nephew also won't let anyone else put him to sleep which is really troublesome now that my sil went back to work and my brother has him in the evening and can never get him to sleep. My dd, on the other hand, can go to sleep with my husband too, and the sitter, really easy. So there is one plus to the paci satisfying her sucking needs.

    We waited for our dd for a long time too--through 2 miscarriages and a long time waiting to get pregnant the first time and I really, really wanted her to need me--but as my signature says, she is already showing her independence from mom. And I def. want her to be an individual, so I will just have to let her figure out her wants/desires on her own, as frustrating as that might be .

    Keep it up--I don't know how old your dd is (mine is 3.5 months), but aren't they wonderful?!!

    Erin
    Wife to a grizzly
    Mama to my little deer (12/05) my loving bear cub (9/07--), and our little tiger (3/22/10)
    Born by one c-section and 2 amazing VBACs


    Miles in 2012: 350.5/900 (Actual Miles Ran: 189)
    Miles in 2011: 708.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 509)
    Miles in 2010: 800.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 620)

    January Miles: 37.5/75
    February Miles: 59/75
    March Miles: 42.5/60
    April Miles: 64
    May Miles: 41/70
    June Miles: 59
    July Miles: 39.5

    227.5 miles on my new shoes
    338 miles on my old shoes

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    53

    Default Re: Can I get her to comfort nurse?

    Thanks for sharing. I really appreciate your feedback and especially pointing out that others who have the opposite problem can't leave their babes . . . . that doesn't sound like fun, either.

    My DD is 3 months also . . . .

    I feel stupid now though. I was just in the shower, thinking, God blessed me with this beautiful, healthy baby . . . . after all I've been through, and I have the NERVE to complain cause she doesn't comfort nurse? Somebody please shut me up when I get like this. I guess I was feeling very needy this morning and was thinking how much easier it would be to have a babe that falls asleep at the breast. So big deal, we can't fall asleep nursing. . . . sometimes I wonder what's wrong with me?! I always look a gifthorse in the mouth and I should know better by now.

    Thanks for listening to my silliness.

    Lisa

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    8,591

    Default Re: Can I get her to comfort nurse?

    Well, I certainly don't think you are silly--just a mother who had a certain thing in mind for how it would go and when it doesn't go that way, you feel let down. That's how I feel too--and I do know that I sometimes have more needy days than others!!! But you are right and you said exactly what my husband says when I have days like that--we have to look at the bigger picture, at the wonderful baby we have been blessed with and her health and the fact that she looks both to me and my husband for comfort!!!

    Anyway...you never know what they will throw at you next, so be prepared for them to change in ways you can't even imagine. My in-laws were here this weekend and dd started having a little "stranger anxiety" and wouldn't let anyone hold her except me and wanted to nurse all the time (yes, even for comfort!). They left and she is back to her old self, but I had a brief moment of how I thought it would be!!

    Erin
    Wife to a grizzly
    Mama to my little deer (12/05) my loving bear cub (9/07--), and our little tiger (3/22/10)
    Born by one c-section and 2 amazing VBACs


    Miles in 2012: 350.5/900 (Actual Miles Ran: 189)
    Miles in 2011: 708.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 509)
    Miles in 2010: 800.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 620)

    January Miles: 37.5/75
    February Miles: 59/75
    March Miles: 42.5/60
    April Miles: 64
    May Miles: 41/70
    June Miles: 59
    July Miles: 39.5

    227.5 miles on my new shoes
    338 miles on my old shoes

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    117

    Default Re: Can I get her to comfort nurse?

    do you co-sleep with ds? i co-sleep with my daughter and she likes to comfort nurse, but sometimes i think she'd suck on me 24 hrs a day if i let her.
    there's nothing wrong with wanting to comfort nurse your little one, especially since you've waited awhile for him so i would suggest maybe napping together when you can and see if he'll nurse himself to sleep that way.
    i'm a brand new mom and this works for me so that's the best advice i can give, good luck!

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