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Thread: Tandem nursing and weaning

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2007

    Default Tandem nursing and weaning

    Hi everyone,

    I hope someone can help me out here.

    I have two girls, the eldest will be 4 yrs in August and the baby is 10 months. I am very easy going about tandeming, but DD1 is getting really out of hand. She has always loved her booby, and I mean really loves her booby, and I don't really want to wean her, but I could do with her cutting down a bit. Right now we have a flexible rule that says she can nurse first thing in the morning when she joins us in our bed and last thing as she is going to sleep. This rule is "broken" if she is unwell or has hurt herself and needs to nurse for comfort etc.

    She has been cutting her last two molars and has been waking in the night around 2am, she joins us in our bed (we co-slept until she she was two and stopped coming through in the wee small hours) and asks for booby, I remind her that she doesn't have booby in the night now, and she gets cross and makes a load of noise and wakes the baby. I would be happy to nurse her at this time but I have found that if I do she wants it all night and as she is a lazy pre-schooler with plenty of teeth this gets uncomfortable as her latch slips in her sleep and she grazes me, also I need to turn over to nurse the baby who still wakes for a feed around 3am. She often asks to nurse at random times during the day. She is a pre-school three days a week (whilst I am at work), so is home with me 4 days a week, and she seems to ask to nurse when she is bored or just wanting my attention.

    Obviously I am not willing to just abruptly wean her, it goes against everything I believe in, and it would be horribley unfair for her to see DD2 nursing all day and not be allowed any herself, but I really need to find a way of cutting things down with her, as the current situation is physically and emotionally draining me.

    Any ideas??

    Last edited by Epiphany; April 12th, 2007 at 11:55 PM. Reason: typos

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2006

    Default Re: Tandem nursing and weaning

    Hi there! I have a just turned 3 nursling, and we've been fairly successful at getting down to just 3 times per day (morning, nap, and bed). For the random times that your daughter asks to nurse during the day, how does she react if you offer another alternative that involves time with you (i.e. read a book, play a game, go outside and play)? I found that was the most effective way to redirect. Of course, that is more difficult with a young baby to take care of as well. Now that he's older, I try to only "break" our three times a day rule in cases of absolute emergency (like screaming child on an airplane or stomach flu). We started using alternate comforting measures for when he gets hurt or has a cold or something, and those work just as well now. He sometimes still asks to nurse after his nap (one that he dropped on his own awhile ago), or multiple times in the morning before getting out of bed). For these times we've adopted a count to ten rule. I let him nurse to the count of ten and then we are done. He's usually fine with this and happily goes on to something else after. If not, sometimes we also count to ten on the other side. HTH!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2007

    Default Re: Tandem nursing and weaning

    I am right there with you. I am having the same issues with my 33month old son and my 14 month old daughter. Both are still nursing. I want to continue nursing my 14month old, and wean my son. My son is obsessed with nursing. I could probably wean my 14 month old now if I forced it and without any fuss, but I am just not ready yet! My son doesnt seem ready to quit any time soon.
    I have been discussing a "weaning party" with my son lately. I told him that we'd have a cake and all that. However, I am not sure if he is old enough to understand the concept of when after the party is over, nursing for HIM is over!! He is just interested in the cake and more nursing!!

    Since your daughter is 4 she may have a better understanding of the concept of the party. Ask her if she would like a weaning party. I have heard of it working in the past for other people.

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