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Thread: fat milk cow!!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    Default fat milk cow!!

    I posted this in the facing critism, but did not get a response. So, could someone tell me how you reply to your MIL calling you Quote "a big ol' fat milk cow" in front of about 10 people? Not to mention she was talking to my 7 yr old neice, who has never seen anyone BF before. I was trying to explain to the little girl why she couldn't feed the baby, and my MIL butted in and said that!! I was horribly embarressed and extremely hurt. I get no support with BF except for my hubby and my mom, And I have gotten used to friends putting me down when I BF my 1st son, and my MIL has said things before, nothing to this extreme.

    PS I am so glad to have found this site. Where there is nothing but support.

  2. #2
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    Mar 2007
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    Default Re: fat milk cow!!

    I am So Sorry!!!! That makes me so I cannot believe the insensitivity of some people! And to say it to a young girl like that! ARG!!!! Well Here's a That is so disrespectful. What did you DH say about it? Is he supportive? Maybe he could talk to her about the lesson she taught him, you know "If you don't have anything nice to say, shut the h*ll UP!" Ok, maybe it doesn't go like that, but I like that version for older people
    Danielle

    Mom to Gage 12/28/06

    Wife to Trinity 6/21/03 my best friend

    ed for year, finally done!!!!
    for more than a year now!

  3. #3
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    Mar 2007
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    Default Re: fat milk cow!!

    That's pretty insensitive . I don;'t know how your relationsip is with her, but it might be a good place for DH to stand up and tell his mother that it was inappropiate it. Just try to make it sound like it's coming from him and not you.

    My MIL actually said something similar, but then was very apologetic after DH and BIL started giving her crap. She didn;t mean to be nasty but she referred to me as a Holstein ( we are all farmers) when we were all out to dinner. She just kept saying that she meant because I was producing such good milk.

  4. #4
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    Mar 2007
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    Default Re: fat milk cow!!

    Our relationship is good most of the time. My hubby is very supportive of my choice to BF, but at the same time he is the youngest of 4. VERY big mama's boy she can do no wrong in his eyes. He said she didn't mean it like it sounded. And I said well then what did she mean? In other words he is defending her. And doesn't want to say anything to her "because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings!!"

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
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    Southern California
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    Default Re: fat milk cow!!

    Quote Originally Posted by leeann101883 View Post
    And doesn't want to say anything to her "because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings!!"
    What about your hurt feelings?????? And while she may not have meant it to be cruel or insensitive, she doesn't know how you and the other ten people, including your young neice will take it! That is so rude! I am sorry! to you!

    Hi, I'm Allison

    Mama to Henry Carl 12/28/06

    7lbs, 15 oz, 20.5 in
    Breastfed for 20 months!

    Mama to Ryan Thomas 11/20/08
    8lbs, 7 oz, 21 in
    Breastfed for 30 months!
    Mama to angel 4/03, Mama to angel 12/05


    Feb TBTTW 33.1/70

  6. #6
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    Oct 2006
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    Default Re: fat milk cow!!

    You know what, I would have a little talk with my hubby because it should be his place to talk to his mother. He can do it nicely. Just have him tell her that she really hurt your feelings when she said that and that she should be more supportive of you giving her grand baby the best nourishment possible. I don't see why that would hurt her feelings when she was the one that hurt yours. Maybe she didn't realize she was being so offensive.

    If he absolutly refuses to talk to her about it, I would call and tell her that what she said really upset you. What would it hurt. She would just stop being to insensitive.

    My husband talked to his mother after she hurt my feelings by asking exactly what I was feeding my lo and insinuating that it wasn't enough- since my lo is small. I avoided her for a while, then he talked to her and told her that I was upset and hurt by all her questioning. She hasn't said anything to me about it, but atleast I know she knows to mind her own business.

    Good luck and here is a big

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    Default Re: fat milk cow!!

    That's a horrible thing to say! I am so glad I have my MIL's support, my mom and sisters are the ones who are always pushing the formula. Just because breastfeeding didn't work for them. "I never produced any milk, or it hurt too bad." Its too bad that BFing wasn't as popular then as it is now, they would have had a lot more support.

  8. #8
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    Oct 2006
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    Default Re: fat milk cow!!

    . I am still trying to pick my jaw up off the floor. How incredibly...as I am typing I am really having a difficult time trying to find a word to describe what sounds to me like a terrible woman. I am very happy that you have support here and at home from your hubby.

    I agree with PPs that DH should be the one to say something, but if he is not, I would definitely take it upon myself to do so. There is no reason you (or any of us, for that matter) should have to put up with that. If it does come to you having that chat with MIL, *try* to stay calm and maybe even use it as a teachable moment if she does not understand why you chose to BF. Tell her how much that comment hurt your feelings, too. I really do not know what else to tell you, but good luck and keep us posted.
    Robin

  9. #9
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    Nov 2006
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    Default Re: fat milk cow!!

    I instantly would have said, smiling of corse: I just had a baby ....what's your excuse?
    karin

    wife to the best guy... anthony
    BF~PTCD'ing~ co-sleeping~ babywearing~organic eating mom to adorable anneliese 9/27/06 and sweet little melania 12/22/07
    and mom to my first love.... 3 fur babies

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    Default Re: fat milk cow!!

    Quote Originally Posted by mastiffkarin View Post
    I instantly would have said, smiling of corse: I just had a baby ....what's your excuse?
    I love this response. Another favorite of mine is, "Oh my God, did you just say that OUT LOUD?"

    I think that you are family now, and you really need to tell her how you feel. It would be nice if your hubby would step in, but this is the kind of thing that should not be sugar-coated. She was WAY out of line, and standing up to her will ensure that she stops and thinks before she is blatantly rude to you again.

    I swear, people who did not breastfeed are often very jealous of those who do, so they make up excuses and try to diminish your accomplishment by cutting you down. You could find a bunch of articles about the benefits of breastfeeding and mail them to her with a note, telling her that since she is so unsupportive of your choice she should probaby educate herself about the "current" views on breastfeeding, and maybe congratulate you for your decision instead of trying to make you feel like crap. That's what I would do, but I tend to be sort of confrontational, which isn't for everyone.

    Anyway, I'd rather be a cow than a pesky mosquito who bites.

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