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Thread: I just need some support today

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    2,156

    Default Re: I just need some support today

    Like the PP said "Women like you give us so much support". When I was pg with my first I knew I wanted to "try" to breastfeed, when ds was born, I still wanted to, I just didn't know how long........My ds is now 18 months and down to 2 feedings.

    I really don't know what would have happen if I didn't find this forum!!
    I am expecting my 2nd dc in September, and I KNOW I can do it!!
    So THANKS to women like you!!
    Last edited by mommy to Landin; April 3rd, 2007 at 08:40 AM. Reason: SP

    Kimberly Mommy to Landin and Avery

    ------------------------------------------

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    19

    Default Re: I just need some support today

    Hang in there! You are doing great. I am still nursing my two boys at the same time (33 months and 5.5 months). It is hard sometimes when others looks at you like you are crazy. I would suggest seeking out others who are like you. Is there a LLL in your area? Awhile back I was having troubles with people saying "you're still nursing him?" and I asked my ped. for suggestions when they ask: how long are you going to nurse? and he suggested saying "Until he goes to college." Usually humor works best for me...
    I might be selfish but I am hoping that if I nurse long enough, my firstborn son's first memory might be of him and his brother nursing together!

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    760

    Default Re: I just need some support today

    I came across this site which has some notecards for sale featuring breastfeeding women around the world. Some of the women are breastfeeding toddlers. I thought it was inspring to see these beautiful and colorful pictures.

    The site is a bit political, about supporting breastfeeding and boycotting formula, but maybe someone else can suggest a site with some similar images...

    http://www.babymilkaction.org/shop/gcards.html#gcard

    I wish someone would come up with a "fact sheet" that we could hand out, with reasons for EXTENDED breastfeeding. My LO is just 6 1/2 months old and relatives think maybe it's time for him to stop nursing! They have the impression that the benefits of breastmilk are for the first few months only, and they were skeptical about that anyways.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    1,048

    Default Re: I just need some support today

    My most successful answer to the question, "How long are you going to do that?" has been: "It depends on whether she's going to college out of state or not." It makes people smile and relax a bit about it. I aknowledged that she's getting bigger and expressed my own surprise at how attached she was to breastfeeding, and then I strongly recommended it. I eventually learned NOT to defend it and only provide facts, figures, WHO quotes, etc. if someone asks. It was better just make it clear that it's working for us and leave it at that. Defending it opens it up for debate. If I just act like I know what I'm doing, people don't worry about it. They know it's none of their business and even though some people are even grossed out by it, I think most people know that it's really OK.

    I also feel a twinge of guilt around formula feeding moms. I think it's because I feel like she can almost see my disappointment when I find out she's not breastfeeding. I have this urge to go out of my way to let her know I'm not judging her or condemning her, that she's just as loving and nurturing as any breastfeeding mother and I'm sure her baby will be just fine. But of course that would come across as patronizing and condescending.

    My daughter will be three this month. She's pretty much weaned. I guess she's averaging once a week now, and I never know if each session is the last. I've pushed the weaning process along, but I'm VERY glad I waited until now to do so. Why? Immunity, closeness, consistant and happy nap times, the chance to SIT, less concern about how much she's eating and drinking, getting through toilet training (I remember nursing her to relax her enough to pee on the potty!) and other milestones, natural lessons in limits and respect, the sence of achievement and growth she feels as she weans as a "big girl," my reduced risk of cancer, my milk got rid of ringworm in ONE application...

    A major challenge at 19 mos is setting limits. They get pretty darn assertive at that age. Its when people start looking at you funny for a number of reasons: they keep wanting to nurse, they are throwing a tantrum, they are starting to show signs for boredom, they keep picking their nose, they are learning to use new communication stratagies to get what they want and boss you around. These are perfectly developmentally appropriate. For me, continuing to breastfeed meant one less battle and one more parenting tool.

    Whenever I start to feel uneasy about my parenting choices, I look at my child, not other adults. And when I do I see one awesome kid. Really, she is just so dang cool.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    627

    Default Re: I just need some support today

    Quote Originally Posted by awnja View Post
    Defending it opens it up for debate. If I just act like I know what I'm doing, people don't worry about it. .

    I think this is the key.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    789

    Default Re: I just need some support today

    here's a fact sheet from kellymom

    http://kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html

    it would have to be condensed and reformatted to fit on one page but i think i might do that when i get closer to extended bfing!

    Anne- Mom to two active boys: Henry 10/06 and Jamie 4/09


    Looking for an LLL leader in your area? click:
    http://www.llli.org/webindex.html

    confused about abbreviations? check this out:
    http://forums.llli.org/showthread.php?t=807

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    760

    Default Re: I just need some support today

    Quote Originally Posted by fergie830 View Post
    here's a fact sheet from kellymom

    http://kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html

    it would have to be condensed and reformatted to fit on one page but i think i might do that when i get closer to extended bfing!
    Thank you for this!

    Usually I wouldn't bother to tenaciously defend what I'm doing as far as breastfeeding because I'm fairly easy going and I already struggle to fit in as a vegetarian in my workplace and with my family and friends (I'm outnumbered and I know it! ), but this is a particular scientifically minded family member who will be more persuaded by medical facts than what would be considered my "emotions".

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    130

    Default Re: I just need some support today

    My favorite answer to someone who says that breastmilk has no nutritional value after one year is, (alarmed and horrifed expression) "Oh my gosh! You mean it turns into Kool-Aid!?"

    I also love the response on Diane Wiessinger's site (the section titled "What can you say when they say..."): "Why do you ask?" If the person is being nosy, you have gently informed them that it's none of their business. If they genuinely want info, it's a great way to start a conversation. http://www.wiessinger.baka.com/bfing...s/whatsay.html

    Dawn

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    760

    Default Re: I just need some support today

    I would just like to say a big thanks to all the wonderful mothers out there who are helping to pave the way for extended breastfeeding by proving as great examples and who are taking their time to encourage and educate those of us considering doing it!!

  10. #20
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    18

    Default Re: I just need some support today

    Quote Originally Posted by awnja View Post
    Whenever I start to feel uneasy about my parenting choices, I look at my child, not other adults. And when I do I see one awesome kid. Really, she is just so dang cool.
    I'm really grateful I found this forum, the above quote really made me feel empowered.
    I think it's interesting that being an extended breastfeeder actualy puts us in the minority so we are forced to constantly deal with other's lack of sensitivity and crass remarks. Yet, we go out of our way to be sensitive with our responses as to not hurt their feelings.
    Maye it just goes to show that our ability to have empathy for our children expands to our general behavior towards others. I won't go on to point out the lack of empathy some have and what that entails, but I think it's implied.
    I do feel proud when I look at my free-spirited kids and like to think my parenting style has something to do with it! My daughter and son(still a nursling) both nursed past 2 yrs and are all the better for it.
    I hope one day extended bfeeding, when possible, becomes the norm rather than the exception, maybe when my daughter is a mommy!

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