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Thread: Am I an evil mother?

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    651

    Default Re: Am I an evil mother?

    I gave ds a paci at 2 wks and I definitely used it constantly to hush my baby because he was such a "sucker", and I didn't really care what others thought because it made him happy.

    Then, oneday at church when he was three months old, he woke up in the middle of the sermon and spit his paci three pews up! I was stunned. He never took a paci again, absolutely hated the thing!!! (and I didn't react or anything to scare him when he spit it, it was like he just decided he didn't like it)

    Oh yea, be prepared though for fertility changes...I got my af back within weeks of him taking the paci, and the month after he rejected it and went back to using me, I lost my fertility again! haha
    Melanie

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    167

    Default Re: Am I an evil mother?

    I will chime in with the other posts, you are not an evil mother, you are just trying to satisfy your child's needs. My daughter uses a pacifier, I started it with her when she was six weeks. I really struggled about it, but what I found out was that I had a baby who just wanted to suck on something for comfort. It has really helped us out. My lo uses her pacifier just for sleeping, and sometimes for comfort. I am so thankful for it. I am glad that you have found something that works for you.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    2,866

    Default Re: Am I an evil mother?

    Quote Originally Posted by KrystleDawne View Post
    Her latch is still good while nursing, and she doesn't need it to go to sleep at night, just when she gets over fussy occasionally during the day before a nap, or when our routine gets way out of whack. Please tell me I'm not evil....cause the leaders at my meeting didn't make me feel to good about it.
    You're not evil.

    Here's some info on the pros and cons of pacifiers:
    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/start/concerns/pacifier.html
    http://www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBNovDec95p172.html

    Take what works for you, and leave the rest!

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    It's round on the ends and high in the middle
    Posts
    1,557

    Default Re: Am I an evil mother?

    I use one too! If I didn't, my little girl would be attached all day long and I'd never get anything done. As it is, I have fallen into the motherhood wormhole and cant get a 15 minute task done in less than 5 hours, so...
    It's too bad that someone made you feel bad about it. I think we all just have to do what feels right for us and what works for us!

    Jessica
    Fancy Momma to the Divine Miss M, 2/15/07 BF'ed for 17 months!
    Currently TTC Baby #2


    Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies - Damn it, you've got to be kind. - Kurt Vonnegut

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    627

    Default Re: Am I an evil mother?

    I think babies have their own preferences. If your milk supply is well established, I don't see a problem with using a pacifier unless it causes some other trouble with your nursing relationship. My dd is one of those who doesn't like to comfort nurse, because if she wants to suck for comfort, she doesn't want milk. She gets really miffed if she's trying to comfort nurse and milk comes out. The pacifier comes in handy for those times.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    1,512

    Smile Re: Am I an evil mother?

    Oh do not feel bad! You have to do what works for you and your LO. The best advice I ever got is to listen to everyones advice and then do what I think is best - even if it is Not what others say to do. You know your baby best so do what works for you and your LO!! You are doing great!!
    Samantha: born 3 1/2 weeks early on Sept 2006 6lbs 4 oz 18 inches long with situs inversus totalis. Now a strong healthy little girl that wants to be a NICU doctor, loves her little sister and breastfeeds her dolls!
    Milk donated with while nursing first LO: 2,200 oz
    Alexandra: born 3 weeks early on July 2010 7lbs 8 oz 19.5 inches long.
    Milk donated with while nursing first LO: 1,200


    For information on becoming a Breastmilk Donor http://hmbana.org/index/donatemilk

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    16

    Default Re: Am I an evil mother?

    I honestly have no issues with pacifiers at all but I know a lot of people do. Both of my LO's used them in the hospital because both spent their first 4 days if their lives in the NICU hooked up to IV's and monitors and both needed to suck. The nurses wanted them to use a paci so they wouldn't pull out their IV's.

    If babies need to suck on something I would much rather they suck on something that can eventually be thrown away...thumbs/fingers cannot.

    And don't forget they are also called soothers for a reason. Sucking on them allows LO's to self-soothe.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    45

    Default Re: Am I an evil mother?

    I'm glad to see the consensus here is that the decision is yours, based on baby's needs! You are most definately NOT evil!!!

    This raises an interesting question: what exactly do people (generally, not here) think is evil about pacis??? The theory about them damaging teeth is only true if you fail to wean the LO. They are called pacifiers for a reason...they can soothe a baby, especially one who loves to suck (don't they all? ). What's wrong with soothing a baby?

    As I said in another thread, nipple confusion is not a given. It doesn't always happen and in some cultures, bottles/pacis and BF are used from birth with no problems.

    So, my dear, let go of your guilt and when you see your LO sucking away, think of how cute Maggie Simpson is with her little paci

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