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Thread: Is my 10 month old trying to wean?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    2

    Default Is my 10 month old trying to wean?

    I could use some advice on how to encourage my 10 month old son, James, to keep on breastfeeding. He is my first child. I have nursed James since birth (he was 8 lbs 6.1 oz). Now he is about 25 lbs, and he is a very big boy. Up until this week, he still nursed throughout the night, before & after his two naps, at bedtime, and at least once more during the day.

    Basically, James is fussing when I offer the breast anytime other than during the night. He now is pushing me away when I offer it to him any other time, now to include before bed time. He howls and cries and wrestles me if I try to keep him in position. He has even bit me, which I assume is to show me he doesn't really want to nurse!

    James does get three meals of solid food a day, and he sometimes gets a 4 oz bottle of formula if he is staying with my parents for a few hours. Again, this pattern has not affected his desire to nurse until this week.

    I am not sure if he is teething again, as he already has 8 teeth (4 up and 4 down). He is drooling a lot and chewing on his hands. I am giving him Tylenol a couple of times a day now to help out with any pain he may be having.

    Also, James started walking with assistance at 9 months, and within the last few weeks, he is pretty much walking on his own, even though he does need help now and then. I am wondering if this could be part of the problem...

    Please help!! My desire to breastfeed is still there, but my heart just breaks every time James cries or pushes away from me. I could use some advice. Thanks!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    3,900

    Default Re: Is my 10 month old trying to wean?

    It doesn't sound like weaning. It sounds like he has become more independant and wants to spend time exploring, vs. nursing.

    This phase usually passes fairly quickly. In the meanwhile, you could try nursing in a quiet, darkened room to help with the distraction. You will find some other helpful tips in these (non-LLL) resources:
    http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns...ible-baby.html
    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/older-bab...g-manners.html

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    44

    Default Re: Is my 10 month old trying to wean?

    My son will be 10 months on the 10th and my son is doing the same thing. He will only nurse when he is tired before naps and at night. He is just too much on the go to nurse during the day although occasionally he wants to nurse and will suck on for maybe 5 seconds and he is off again. He is taking a few steps on his own but mostly just pushing everything that will move around the house. He has a week here and there since he was 7 months old that he would not nurse at all if he was awake. Now he mostly nurses at night. He has been waking me up every 1 1/2-2 1/2 hours. The last two nights he has made 3 1/2 hours in between which is much more bearable. The last two days have gone like this: I nurse him at 730 (bed time), 10ish (my bedtime), 130ish, 5 ish, 9 am (nap time), 130 pm (nap time). In a few weeks I won't be able to nurse him for his naps so I am trying to get him to take formula in a sippy cup. He won't drink much. He will down water though. Unfortunately, I must return to work. My goal was to make it to one year but we have drained our savings a little sooner than we hoped. I'm just so grateful I was able to stay home with him 10 months. I'm still trying to figure out a way I can bring in enough extra income and stay home with him. Anyway, I'm off track. I know how it feels when your baby pushes you away and refuses to nurse. It is so frustrating and upsetting and we worry so. I felt resentful because my son would really bite hard or pinch and hit so hard it was difficult not to get angry. Hang in there and don't feel guilty if you switch to formula feeding. I think I would have by now with all his biting and fighting me if he would take it. I haven't enjoyed breastfeeding as much as most Mom's but it is an emotional time even for me to think about giving it up. I do want to wean at the one year mark. My son only had one month from 6-7 months where he slept 4 hour stretches. I'm to the point now I don't think I can sleep anymore than that although I desperately need to especially since I will be returning to work May 1st. Anyway, I want to wish you luck and let you know that you are not the only one. It seems a lot of people lately have written in with similar problems. I think from approx. 8 months, some babies seem to drastically reduce the frequency and length of nursing sessions, which apparently is normal. I really start worrying about my son some days when he outright refuses all day long but he makes up for at night--oh lucky me. Try not take it personally when your son pushes you way--I know its hard. Best wishes, Glennysmom

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    77

    Default Re: Is my 10 month old trying to wean?

    Hi, I had the same issue with my ds a couple months ago (he will be a year old soon). I too felt very bad at that time. But things have slowly changed. This is one main way that worked for us - give him something to play with when he nurses - either a toy, or something which he cannot touch without your supervision otherwise, or nursing necklace, something different everytime, so he can play while he nurses. He just seems very distracted with so many things around him. A quiet dark room sometimes does not work if he is fully awake - instead if he is fully awake and playful, just nurse in a quiet brighter room with a toy in his hand (also make sure the toy doesn't make any noise though!). Hope this helps.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    259

    Default Re: Is my 10 month old trying to wean?

    glennysmom,
    try expressed breast milk in sippy instead of formula...ever taste formula? especially when all you have had is bm? might drink it better than formula.
    for the refusing to nursers: try dark areas lying down works great..good luck

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    44

    Default Re: Is my 10 month old trying to wean?

    Amy,
    I tried expressed milk and he doesn't drink hardly any of it so I end up throwing it out. I don't pump well most of the time so I'm discouraged to pump. I can only pump when he is sleeping and most of the time he has just emptied my breasts so that is probably why I don't get much. As soon as my son sees the pump he tries to violently disassemble it. Maybe once I return to work and he is no longer nursing before his naps (remember he nurses throughout the night) I will be able to pump more or enough but I'm not sure I will be able to or really want to since I will be weaning him soon. My son will only nurse well in the chair in his room and I have to put a sleep sack on him so he knows he is going down for a nap or he won't seriously nurse. A few times I have tricked him at 4PM by putting on the sleep sack to get him nurse but don't put him down for a nap. If I look at him while nursing, talk to him he will stop nursing much less letting him play with something. I tried a nursing necklace a few times with him and he about strangled me. I hope he doesn't go on anymore strikes which means once he is off of one he will nurse every hour and half at night until my supply builds up again. I do pump when he is striking but it doesn't build up my supply like nursing does. I appreciate your advice and everyone elses that have helped me along the way. All babies are different and everyday is different so us Mom's have to keep trying, trying and trying until we think we have figured it out and then try again because all has changed. I know this but it doesn't stop me from looking for an easy answer/quick fix--wishful thinking.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    259

    Default Re: Is my 10 month old trying to wean?

    glennysmom,
    i hear you about try,try again, and just when you think you have it...baby says "nah--not this time" LOL you are right about that. i wish that i COULD give a quick fix answer (then i wouldn't have to work!!! LOL) we can only share what has worked for us, and take away from it what we wish to try and hopefully something (ANYTHING, especially during those up all nighters) will work. my ds and i usually do good when i work nightshift, he will nap with me almost all day, nursing on his own, today i got home from work at 7:30 am, and i slept a total of 1 1/2 hours (not all at once) from 8 am - 4 pm when i had to get out of bed to get ready to work tonight...it is 9pm, and dh just called and said ds STILL won't sleep...it is all trial and error...good luck.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: Is my 10 month old trying to wean?

    UPDATE......................

    Thanks to those of you who offered advice. I believe that most of what you all said was true. James is very, very busy, and he doesn't like to stop! Instead of just "whipping it out" any old place in the house, I've tried nursing him in his room with the shades drawn and his sound machine on, just like we do before naps and bed. That seems to have helped some with him settling down. Having something for him to do besides nurse has helped out, too. I gave him a little squeaky farm animal toy he likes, and that keeps him occupied long enough for him to "sip" for a few minutes, sometimes as much as five to ten minutes. My husband didn't know what to think when he saw that show over the weekend!

    Also, I tried expressing some milk, but he just doesn't want the bottle any more. That's OK with me, though, as he's probably fine without the milk during the day until I pick him up from my parents' house.

    It was a big relief to hear from those of you who've already gone through this. Thanks for the tips & the encouragement!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    77

    Default Re: Is my 10 month old trying to wean?

    That's great that you could keep him engaged for the 5-10 minutes he nursed. You could encourage him to nurse for longer time by keeping a few more things next to you and when he loses interest in one thing, give him another and ask him to nurse more while he plays with the next thing, and so on till he is full. I know initially it will sound like a circus, but eventually it is good since you don't have to be worried that he didn't nurse at all!

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