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Thread: Going back to work at 10 mos.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    138

    Default Going back to work at 10 mos.

    I am just curious if anyone made the transition back to work with an older baby? I may be going back to work when my daughter is 10 mos. old and would love some insight into what that transition looks like when the baby is older and more aware of the fact that mommy is leaving. Should I expect lots of crying, more waking up at night, etc? Any thoughts are appreciated - I haven't completely decided to go back for sure and don't want to make a decision until I have a good idea of what I may be facing.

  2. #2

    Default Re: Going back to work at 10 mos.

    Many parents go back to work (or school) when baby is older. You're not alone!

    You may find that baby wakes more at night, either to nurse (reverse cycle-nursing), or just because her schedule has suddenly changed, and it will take a few days to settle down again.

    You might be able to avoid bottles, and just offer your milk in a sippy cup instead, too.

    If your daughter has something that she regularly falls asleep with, or likes to snuggle with, be prepared to take that item with you to daycare.
    Shannon
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    Protect your privacy online; don't use your full name. Click My Alias at the top left corner.

    I'm horrible at html and encoding links, so I apologize in advance for all the long links!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    138

    Default Re: Going back to work at 10 mos.

    I just want to post that I chose to go back to work (at 10mos.) and I am glad I did - it was a really healthy decision for me and my daughter seems to be doing well as well. I almost wish I had gone back sooner because my daughter is doing so well and after battling months of depression I finally feel like myself again. I know working isn't for everyone, but for me, it is really a necessary thing for mental health and it helps us with additional income. My husband and I don't seem to be fighting as much either - he now has to help care for dd and chip in on housework with no complaints - he can't say "well, I work" now, because we both do. Also, I find myself not resenting my dd so much, enjoying the time I do have with her, and not stressing over all the little details as much (like say, the fact that she woke up for the first time at 1am instead of 4am). When I was a SAHM, I would get so worked up and caught up in the details of our day - I just don't do that anymore and I think it's because I have some other things to think about too. I just wanted to post this because the decision to go back to work was very guilt-laden for me, and now that I have done it and everything worked out for the best, I wish I would have had some support in making the decision sooner.
    I do have to say that my positive outlook might be a little biased based on our wondeful daycare sitaution . . . We have really the best situation where she is onsite with me - I have been able to join her for lunch almost daily so far. And, the care giver to child ration is 1:3 on bad days; some days she has 1:1 - the daycare is subsidized by the employer so that's why that can happen sometimes. She will also have the same teachers until she is 3 - they move up with the babies for continuity of care. So, it really is a good situation. There were a few days at first that were challenging - she cut a tooth at daycare before she was really comfortable with her teachers, but after the first week or so, she has been doing really beautifully.
    I am also off by 3:30 so I have the rest of the day with my dd.
    Being a SAHM isn't for everyone and I really do think there's some merit in the comment that mom needs to be happy in order to do a good job with baby.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    1,645

    Default Re: Going back to work at 10 mos.

    I'm so glad things worked well for you! I have been toying with the idea of going back to work myself (DD is 9 months old). I LOVE caring for her but am really missing adult interaction. DH works really long hours, we're 3 hours away from our families and what's left of my friends work. So, it is really hard for me somedays.
    Amber
    Mommy to Bridget (12/20/05) and Brady (9/6/07)

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
    Posts
    17,438

    Default Re: Going back to work at 10 mos.

    I too have been continually looking at this since DS was about 6months old...your daycare situation does sound perfect! More stuff to ponder.....

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    138

    Default Re: Going back to work at 10 mos.

    Amber - your situation sounds a lot like mine was. I was going absolutely nuts because my husband was gone for such a long time each day, and since we had recently moved, I didn't have any friends and family nearby. My "community" basically consisted of my daughter and I - for 12-14 hours/day it was just her and I. So, I can sympathize with your situation.

    I think the big key to being happy with going back to work is the child care situation - if you feel comfortable with who your baby is with all day, it is much easier to go. I think it also helped that my dd was older because she is able to play and not be held all day now - once they get to that point it makes the 1:4 caregiver ratio of most daycares more reasonable.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    1,645

    Default Re: Going back to work at 10 mos.

    I think you're right about it meaning a lot to be totally comfortable with your LO's care provider. I just don't know that I could find anyone here that I would trust...I mean you hear so many horrible things nowadays. I would constantly be worrying about DD. Your situation sounds perfect...maybe I could just "shop" for employers who offer onsite child care, that would at least alleviate some of my anxiety.
    Amber
    Mommy to Bridget (12/20/05) and Brady (9/6/07)

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    127

    Default Re: Going back to work at 10 mos.

    Glad to have found this thread. I am planning to go back to work mid-January. DD will be 10 1/2 mo. We, too, will have excellent childcare (my MIL will come to our home to watch DD). And I work close enough to home that I could stop by at lunch sometimes, and I can be home by 3:15 pm each day.

    Despite these many factors, I am so uneasy about it. I've heard opinions that 9-11 mo. is a difficult time to make the change because separation/stranger anxiety is just setting in. (My MIL will do a great job, to to DD, she's just someone who is not mom or dad.) Thoughts on the timing of this?

    Proud Mother of ThreePrecious Children

    Calder Anwyn
    February 21, 2006
    Nursed Until 18 Months
    Ewan Walker
    May 31, 2008
    Nursed Until 15 Months
    Reed Bennett
    February 26, 2011
    Off to a beautiful start...!



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    138

    Default Re: Going back to work at 10 mos.

    I too was worried about my dd's transition, given the age. I think it went easier than it would have at an earlier age, honestly. To ease the transition, I would just start leaving her with your mother-in-law for blocks of time now, and let them get acquainted. It did take my dd a week or two before she started really seeing her teachers as people she could go to for comfort - perhaps building that in for your dd before you start back to work would help. Some trial runs would probably help you feel more comfortable too.
    The more time you spend leading into the arrangement (1 hour here and there, leading up to larger blocks of time, leading up to you leaving the whole day . . . ), the easier it will flow, I think. I did a modified version of that with the daycare, and I'm sure it helped.
    Someone told me that children are really resilient and I just couldn't buy into it before I saw it first-hand. My dd had a hard first few days, but now she's excited when we get to her school. I'm glad I saw it through, kept her in daycare and kept working. During the first few days I felt like a horrible mom and that I was abandoning her, but now I think it is better for us both. I get the stimulation and financial comfort I need from work; she gets to spend all day with someone who LOVES to be with infants, and starting at 3:30, she gets a mommy who's not burnt out on baby time.
    Good luck and don't stress too much - it will go fine.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    127

    Default Re: Going back to work at 10 mos.

    Thanks so much for sharing your ideas. Even though the transition is three months away...I find myself thinking about it every single day. And with such mixed emotions, of course. I will definitely use the smaller blocks of time to build up to the whole-day schedule, as you suggest. And I will try to keep your experience in mind, when the first few bad days make me want to throw in the towel! We will find our way through this, I know....

    Oh, the joys of motherhood!

    Proud Mother of ThreePrecious Children

    Calder Anwyn
    February 21, 2006
    Nursed Until 18 Months
    Ewan Walker
    May 31, 2008
    Nursed Until 15 Months
    Reed Bennett
    February 26, 2011
    Off to a beautiful start...!



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