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Thread: Hey Ladies, I'm hoping to find some support

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2007

    Default Hey Ladies, I'm hoping to find some support

    Hello, I have been breastfeeding my daughter who is now 16 months since she was born, she never took a bottle just me... Well I have been trying to wean her and its been 2 days since she nursed my boob is hurting really bad, I really dont know what to do for it. I am also so upset about this I feel so bad for her although shes doing really good. I wanted to wean her because she was getting so demanding for it and I couldnt go no where she would scream in the car the whole time.. I guess I also did it because of what everyone else says. Oh shes to big whatever!! I did Breastfeed my son until he was almost 2 and the only reason I stopped with him is because I was pregnant with my daughter.. I dont know I feel so bad I feel like our connection is gone I feel like im kinda losing my baby ... Since the day she was born my breast was the only way she would go to sleep and watching her cry and fuss falling asleep is killing me.. I dont know why its bothering me so bad today but it is.. I was fine with it when we started My husband says oh ur doing a good job, its easy for him to say that cause what Im going threw emotionaly sucks!! I didnt feel this way when I quit with my son why do i now?? Im sitting her crying my eyes out no else breastfeeds around me friends, family no one.. So no one can understand where im coming from. Im hoping someone will here.. Breastfeeding is the best I miss it and its only been 2 days without.. I dont know what to do about the fullness and its hurting // Well if anyone has anything to say I would love to hear and sorry I have been going on and on.. . Its just such a sad thing I didnt think it would be this bad for me, I feel like just giving it to her. But I guess I would have to go threw this all over again///////// Thanks Kristy

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006

    Default Re: Hey Ladies, I'm hoping to find some support

    to you during this hard time. If you're weaning, then perhaps to relieve a little bit of pressure you can hand express? I think LLL has some good articles on how to wean and deal with discomfort. You can also try some cold compresses?

    I'd also ask yourself why you are weaning; if it is b/c of other people's comments, then perhaps you can still bf her now. I know that my DS loves his boobies. If he's hungry but I can't immediately BF, I explain to him (only 12 months old) why not yet and will give him a sippy cup instead or distract him. He'll take water, diluted juice or EBM in his sippy cup which is helpful. In the car I keep a small supply of crackers if hungry or toys to keep him occupied. LLL also has articles on toddler/extended BF. I think one of the books that other people have talked about is nursing your toddler ?? That may give some good suggestions if you decide to start BF again.

    Best of luck with whatever you do...remember it's YOUR choice. Hugs again to you.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2006

    Default Re: Hey Ladies, I'm hoping to find some support

    Could you go back to nursing but less often than before?


  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006

    Default Re: Hey Ladies, I'm hoping to find some support

    Hi Megansmommie05,
    You sound really conflicted about this. On the one hand you thought you wanted to wean, but now you are having doubts. LLL usually recommends weaning gradually for the sake of both the mother and the child. It's usually easier on both of you to drop feedings here and there and then wait for a period of time before dropping other feedings. Usually the last feedings to go are the most "special" ones, often around nighttimes or naps. It's OK to take it slow. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. You can even set a few limits around nursing to make it work more for you or your family without giving it up altogether. Stopping "cold turkey" can be hard emotionally for the child and it can put the mother at risk of plugged ducts and mastitis. If you decide you are committed to stopping nursing altogether, then by all means go ahead and express just enough for comfort.
    Some good books are How Weaning Happens and Mothering Your Nursing Toddler.
    And here are some more resources about weaning and nursing toddlers.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2006

    Default Re: Hey Ladies, I'm hoping to find some support

    Welcome to the forum. I think you will find that a lot of women here understand your situation!
    IMO, if you wean, it should be because it's what you and your LO want, not other people who don't know what they're talking about. And you don't have to wean "cold turkey," you can gently encourage weaning in lots of ways. I have an 18 month old and I know she would be traumatized if I tried to wean her cold turkey. And I'm sure it would be very hard on me as well!!
    If you "give in" now, that doesn't mean you will have to go through this again later, because if you wait until you and your child are both ready then it will not be so traumatic.
    This forum is great for support. Is there an LLL group in your area that might give you some in person support as well?


    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2006

    Default Re: Hey Ladies, I'm hoping to find some support

    I went 2 days without nursing, then another 4 days. Before that I limited lo to once a day. That was great because we had that special time every day but no one really needed to know and eventually she didn't even ask when it wasn't the appropriate time. The gradual process has been very easy on my breasts. In fact, she's probably only gotten colostrum the last couple times. (hm, maybe weaning has HELPED us avoid sickness this season?) I also promised my dd that she will get at least one more "nursie" someday. (though I'm trying to put that off until she forgets how and I'm dried up, I will offer at some point) She's older, so she's very verbal, but we have both found comfort in the fact that she'll have another opportunity. It's later, not never.

    Even at almost three years old, I feel a little sadness about weaning her before her time. Oh the anger and hurt I put her through. But because she was older, she was at least CLOSE to being ready and I've found peace in that as well as in being able to see it as her accomplishment, learning experience, etc. We can both be happy to have nursed through the first year. That's a recommendation all good sources agree on.

    I understand the distance you are feeling. I must say that it HAS been nice to finally be able to cuddler her without her trying to nurse. The child will return to you when the boundries are accepted.

    Another thought. All the comments and pressure to wean back when she was still a baby seem stupid and trite now that she's weaning. Really stupid.

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