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Thread: did you PLAN to nurse past 1 year?

  1. #21
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    Default Re: did you PLAN to nurse past 1 year?

    No. originally I thought 6 months would be pushing it LOL! Now we are fast approaching 2 years and I am wondering if I am going to continue. It has just become so much a part of our daily routine. And I love the bonding time. Now that DD is on the go all the time, I rarely get to just hold her.

    Our only problem is that DD and I no longer fit comfortably in our nursing chair together. Last night I was holding her and remembering how her little 5lb 10 oz body use to fit in the crook of my arm. Now she is 22 pounds and her legs hang over the arms of the chair. Where did my tiny, tiny baby go????? :

  2. #22
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    Default Re: did you PLAN to nurse past 1 year?

    Quote Originally Posted by epbrown View Post
    I spend a lot of time on another message board and it has helped me to feel more normal, because they aren't bound by some of the same rules that LLL is...they believe that nursing until age 2 should be the recommendation, not age 1 like it is in the US by the AAP.
    I'm curious as to where this information comes from. Usually, LLL is accused of pushing mothers to nurse until kindergarten!

    Seriously, though, there is a lot of misinformation out there about LLL. Maybe even on this board, and we (the Leaders on the board) just haven't been made aware? If there is something we need to know, please speak up!

    LLL's official stance on weaning is part of LLL philosophy:

    "Ideally the breastfeeding relationship will continue until the baby outgrows the need. "
    http://www.lalecheleague.org/philosophy.html?m=1,0,1

    Here is a quote from an article about LLL philosophy and how it evolved:

    "Weaning is a process, not an event; it begins when foods other than human milk are introduced and is completed when a baby no longer nurses. Breastfeeding is so much more to a baby than a source of food; it means security and comfort. These emotional needs do not end when the first solid food is introduced. Gradually, these needs are fulfilled in ways other than nursing. As each infant has his own style and schedule of nursing, each baby-child has his own style and schedule of weaning. An attentive mother can follow her little one's lead as snacks or drinks, cuddling, and other activities gradually replace nursing. "
    http://www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBMarApr97p36.html

    More on nursing toddlers:
    http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/advantagetoddler.html
    http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/weantoddler.html
    http://www.lalecheleague.org/llleade...ebMar98p3.html

    All that being said, LLL is here to support mothers no matter if they breastfeed for 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years, or beyond.

    Also, to be clear, the AAP recommendation per their breastfeeding policy is:

    "Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child."
    AND
    "There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer."
    http://aappolicy.aappublications.org...rics;115/2/496

    The WHO strategy is:

    "All mothers should have access to skilled support to initiate and sustain exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months and ensure the timely introduction of adequate and safe complementary foods with continued breastfeeding up to two years or beyond. "
    http://www.who.int/child-adolescent-...l_strategy.htm


    HTH! If you have more questions, please do not hesitate to ask.


  3. #23
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    Default Re: did you PLAN to nurse past 1 year?

    I planned on one year. Wow i was so ignorant I had no idea that the baby would get attached to it. I figured I'd just stop after her first b-day. well I started re-thinking that one right away. Then I was kind of planning on child led, but I finally weaned dd just before she turned three. And i will tell everyone I can that she nursed until about three years old. I REALLY want to normalize this!

  4. #24
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    Default Re: did you PLAN to nurse past 1 year?

    Quote Originally Posted by ppalagi View Post
    So if you breastfed your baby past the one-year mark, did you plan to do so? or did you just get caught up in the momentum? What did you say to people who thought you should wean your baby?
    I did not plan to do so. I honestly thought I was going to nurse for six months, then wean and return to work. I guess you could say I got caught up in the momentum, but really I think I just realized that ds had a need to nurse beyond that time frame. He did so well on breastmilk (he was growing well, and he was rarely sick), and he was attached to breastfeeding for comfort.

    I didn't really care what people said about him still nursing. And, once he was over age two, we hardly ever had a reason for anyone to know. He mostly nursed down for naps and bedtime. I guess you could say I was "undercover". I just didn't talk openly about it. Some of our family knew, but my Dad was the only one to ever ask when he was gonna stop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kelly Ann View Post
    It's really nice not to worry if she ate or not because I know she's getting what she needs.
    Exactly!

    Quote Originally Posted by Blessedbee View Post
    i never thought about it...i nevr thought about nursing a two or three year old either....now i look at ds and he seems like such a baby still! how can i take that away from him??
    Yes! People seem to think that babies become adults at that magic cut-off age of 12 months. But, I don't feel that way at all! Babies/toddlers still have an intense need to be with their mothers. I, personally, could not deny that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Blessedbee View Post
    since the supernanny show i joke with dh about how i need to nurse for my own wellbeing haha
    I think you'll get a kick out of this Hathor cartoon:
    http://www.thecowgoddess.com/index.php?paged=3

    Prolactin is relaxing.


    Quote Originally Posted by Blessedbee View Post
    i do find myself missing my dh though....with cosleeping and nursing all night there is really no more cuddling with him.....and i just have no sex drive at all, so surprisingly that has started being an issue in my head maybe tipping the scales toward weaning a little bit??


    Perhaps set up a date night? I found that if I planned ahead for intimacy, it helped me. You could have everything you need on hand (lubricant, a special drink, ect). Tell your hubby in the morning that it's his night. Maybe call him at work and make suggestive comments. Whatever you can do to make it fun, you know? Then, when baby goes down for sleep, roll away from baby, make sure he's safe, then go reconnect with dh.

    One hint: Make sure that you keep your baby's routine the same on this day.

    Quote Originally Posted by all night DQ View Post
    It is so convenient. Yesterday, my lo fell asleep in the van right before lunch. When he eventually woke up we went to a store and stayed too long. When we were done he was hungry! I had no provisions with me; it was a life saver to be able to nurse him. I can't imagine giving that convenience up just because he's now a baby that can walk and talk.
    Convenience is HUGE. Comfort for babe goes along with that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Meredith View Post
    I'm an odd duck- I planned on nursing my children until they were done before they were born. So here I am, tandem nursing a 3YO and a newborn!
    Good for you!




    I love reading all these stories!

  5. #25
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    Default Re: did you PLAN to nurse past 1 year?

    Quote Originally Posted by LLL_Jolie View Post
    I'm curious as to where this information comes from. Usually, LLL is accused of pushing mothers to nurse until kindergarten!

    Seriously, though, there is a lot of misinformation out there about LLL. Maybe even on this board, and we (the Leaders on the board) just haven't been made aware? If there is something we need to know, please speak up!

    LLL's official stance on weaning is part of LLL philosophy:

    "Ideally the breastfeeding relationship will continue until the baby outgrows the need. "
    http://www.lalecheleague.org/philosophy.html?m=1,0,1

    Here is a quote from an article about LLL philosophy and how it evolved:

    "Weaning is a process, not an event; it begins when foods other than human milk are introduced and is completed when a baby no longer nurses. Breastfeeding is so much more to a baby than a source of food; it means security and comfort. These emotional needs do not end when the first solid food is introduced. Gradually, these needs are fulfilled in ways other than nursing. As each infant has his own style and schedule of nursing, each baby-child has his own style and schedule of weaning. An attentive mother can follow her little one's lead as snacks or drinks, cuddling, and other activities gradually replace nursing. "
    http://www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBMarApr97p36.html

    More on nursing toddlers:
    http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/advantagetoddler.html
    http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/weantoddler.html
    http://www.lalecheleague.org/llleade...ebMar98p3.html

    All that being said, LLL is here to support mothers no matter if they breastfeed for 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years, or beyond.

    Also, to be clear, the AAP recommendation per their breastfeeding policy is:

    "Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child."
    AND
    "There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer."
    http://aappolicy.aappublications.org...rics;115/2/496

    The WHO strategy is:

    "All mothers should have access to skilled support to initiate and sustain exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months and ensure the timely introduction of adequate and safe complementary foods with continued breastfeeding up to two years or beyond. "
    http://www.who.int/child-adolescent-...l_strategy.htm


    HTH! If you have more questions, please do not hesitate to ask.

    Jolie...here it just seems that the 2 weeks, 2 month, or 2 years or beyond rules...not the until the baby outgrows the need. The board I am talking about actually very strongly encourages nursing until age 2...whereas here its okay to nurse for 6 months or even shorter, as long as you nurse. Don't get me wrong, LLL is the only reason I am still nursing, but I think there is a misconception about the pressure--my friends and family seem to think that LLL pressured me into continuing nursing, and that's just not the case. I could still hang around here if I hadn't nursed my baby at all...but on the other board, its not as accepted to only nurse for 3 months or 6 months. Its actually frowned upon.

    Also, the fact that the AAP has to state that there is no evidence of psychological harm just sickens me. Its NORMAL, and that statement makes it seem abnormal to me.

    I do believe it is welcomed here, to nurse indefinitely, and to child-led wean. But its not suggested or recommended by very many of the leaders here...at least not that I see.

    Erin
    Wife to a grizzly
    Mama to my little deer (12/05) my loving bear cub (9/07--), and our little tiger (3/22/10)
    Born by one c-section and 2 amazing VBACs


    Miles in 2012: 350.5/900 (Actual Miles Ran: 189)
    Miles in 2011: 708.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 509)
    Miles in 2010: 800.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 620)

    January Miles: 37.5/75
    February Miles: 59/75
    March Miles: 42.5/60
    April Miles: 64
    May Miles: 41/70
    June Miles: 59
    July Miles: 39.5

    227.5 miles on my new shoes
    338 miles on my old shoes

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
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    135

    Default Re: did you PLAN to nurse past 1 year?

    I only nursed Taryn for a week before I gave up (many things working against us, especially a dr. who scared me into using formula for jaundice). So, when I had Nicholas I set a goal of a couple weeks, once I got there, I thought "I can do 3 months." Then at 3 months, I thought 6 months. When he turned 6 months, I thought to myself "Oh, this is stupid, he'll nurse till we're done." He weaned at 25 1/2 months with a little bit of help from me.

    After that I decided that if we ever had another child, I wouldn't set any limits on my child. Landon is 27 months and showing no signs of weaning. There are some days I think he will be the first person to take his mom to college because he still needs to nurse. LOL. It is so freeing to not put a limit on it. I take it day by day. Some days he nurses more than others. There is no pattern or schedule. I follow what he needs and still nurse on demand.

    I don't worry about what people think about it. The more I nurse him in public or tell people about still nursing, I feel I'm doing my part to make EN a "normal" thing in today's society. He doesn't ask to nurse in public much anymore, but if he asks and there is a spot for me to sit down (or I have my sling with me) we'll nurse wherever we are. He was throwing a fit in Wal-Mart last week so I sat on one of the benches by the beauty aisle and let him nurse and a woman in a wheelchair zipped by me, looked at him nursing, looked me in the eye and grinned. It was so empowering to know that I could tame the savage beast that is a 2 year old with something so simple and have another woman validate what I was doing with a smile. Amazing!

  7. #27
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    Default Re: did you PLAN to nurse past 1 year?

    Quote Originally Posted by epbrown View Post
    Jolie...here it just seems that the 2 weeks, 2 month, or 2 years or beyond rules...not the until the baby outgrows the need. The board I am talking about actually very strongly encourages nursing until age 2...whereas here its okay to nurse for 6 months or even shorter, as long as you nurse.
    Thank you for your response, Erin. I really appreciate it.

    As a mother and Leader, I can tell you that it is my hope that all mothers breastfeed until their baby outgrows the need naturally. That being said, we also have to be realistic since it is a fact the vast majority of women do not make that choice. If we pushed nursing until age two on the mother who was convinced she would only nurse for the first six months, I guarantee it wouldn't end well. But, by supporting her choice to nurse no matter how long (and, of course, providing all mothers with the opportunity to find information that nursing until baby weans naturally is normal ) we reach far more mothers. And MANY of those mothers who believe they will only nurse for six months or one year do go on to nurse well into the toddler years. Even this thread is a good example of this happening.



    Quote Originally Posted by epbrown View Post
    Don't get me wrong, LLL is the only reason I am still nursing, but I think there is a misconception about the pressure--my friends and family seem to think that LLL pressured me into continuing nursing, and that's just not the case.
    Right! That is very common. Many mothers come to LLL having heard that rumour, and honestly believe we're out to transform them into mothers who nurse their preschoolers. We're trying to undo that damage and show that we're here to help ALL mothers, no matter how little or how long they nurse.


    Quote Originally Posted by epbrown View Post
    I could still hang around here if I hadn't nursed my baby at all...but on the other board, its not as accepted to only nurse for 3 months or 6 months. Its actually frowned upon.
    I wouldn't say it's not frowned upon here. In general, most of the regular posters on this board don't accept that. And one could argue that it's a good thing, because you urge each other on, and support each other through the good and bad times.

    What if we told every mother who weaned early or abruptly that we were dissatisfied with her actions? What kind of reputation would this organization have? And what about those mothers who were frowned upon? Do you think they would go on to breastfeed their next baby? I can answer that with an honest, probably not. Compassion and understanding goes a long way. We really do have to reach each mother where she is, keeping in mind that every mother is the expert on her own baby.

    Quote Originally Posted by epbrown View Post
    Also, the fact that the AAP has to state that there is no evidence of psychological harm just sickens me. Its NORMAL, and that statement makes it seem abnormal to me.
    Yes. I should have made a note that the reason why that blurb is in there is because of what was written on their previous statments and position papers. I think that info is still online...somewhere.

    Quote Originally Posted by epbrown View Post
    I do believe it is welcomed here, to nurse indefinitely, and to child-led wean. But its not suggested or recommended by very many of the leaders here...at least not that I see.
    Sure it is! We just aren't going to beat you over the head with it. We give suggestions and information, not advice. It is ultimately up to the mother what her decision is.

    That being said, I think we can make a more conscious effort to support mothers who want to nurse to the natural age of weaning. What would your suggestions be? Remember that this is your community, too. All of you helped build it!
    Last edited by LLL_Jolie; March 21st, 2007 at 07:05 PM. Reason: Clarify.

  8. #28
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    Nov 2006
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    Default Re: did you PLAN to nurse past 1 year?

    If you had asked me when I left the hospital if I would be nursing a toddler, I probably would've said "no way!" I'm a prime example of how the actual experience of breastfeeding can change your attitude! I think we have to support breastfeeding no matter how long a woman tries it.
    I was talking to a mom at the gym the other day and she said that she only nursed 6 months because her son started to bite her. Now I know we've all been bitten and many of us make it past this stage, but I am not going to judge her decision because, heck, her own mom probably didn't breastfeed her at all! With each woman and each successive generation, we are building back a culture of breastfeeding. If we emphasize the whole baby-led weaning idea, people can get intimidated. I know I would have.

    Having said that, I started looking at the LLL materials on weaning and they all were oriented toward, "are you sure you want to wean?" "have you considered continuing?" and I would've really like some more practical articles about how maybe you can night-wean and still nurse through the day, or how you can ease your child through the process. I didn't see a lot of that, or maybe I just don't know where to look. Does anyone have any suggestions?

  9. #29
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    Default Re: did you PLAN to nurse past 1 year?

    Quote Originally Posted by LLL_Jolie View Post
    What if we told every mother who weaned early or abruptly that we were dissatisfied with her actions? What kind of reputation would this organization have? And what about those mothers who were frowned upon? Do you think they would go on to breastfeed their next baby? I can answer that with an honest, probably not. Compassion and understanding goes a long way. We really do have to reach each mother where she is, keeping in mind that every mother is the expert on her own baby.
    Hey Jolie!

    While I do agree with this, it sometimes seems that this attitude compromises the stance of LLL that you stated above:
    Quote Originally Posted by LLL_Jolie
    "Ideally the breastfeeding relationship will continue until the baby outgrows the need. "
    I guess that's the point I wanted to get across. I do believe that if I had thought it was required that once I started nursing I had to continue, I might never have started. I only wish that it was normalized, and that it was expected by society. Does that make any sense at all?

    Erin
    Wife to a grizzly
    Mama to my little deer (12/05) my loving bear cub (9/07--), and our little tiger (3/22/10)
    Born by one c-section and 2 amazing VBACs


    Miles in 2012: 350.5/900 (Actual Miles Ran: 189)
    Miles in 2011: 708.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 509)
    Miles in 2010: 800.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 620)

    January Miles: 37.5/75
    February Miles: 59/75
    March Miles: 42.5/60
    April Miles: 64
    May Miles: 41/70
    June Miles: 59
    July Miles: 39.5

    227.5 miles on my new shoes
    338 miles on my old shoes

  10. #30
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    Thumbs up Re: did you PLAN to nurse past 1 year?

    How great to hear that you all ended up nursing for longer than you had "planned" or not really thought about it and let it happen.
    I just wanted to share that all babies/toddlers/children are different and have different needs. When I had my first baby I thought I might breastfeed for about 6 months - not sure what I thought I was going to do after that because I new I wan't going to use bottles, as I had to do that in my work BC and thought it was way too much work!? It is interesting how you grow as a mother with each baby, as they grow. I found that I got to 6 months and thought why change what's working? I then got to a year, then 2 years (and by that point had decided on child-led weaning). My first child weaned during the pregnancy with my second. With each baby I have discovered the joys of individuality - it is interesting to look at the characterisitics of 5 different children. One self-weaned at 17 months, which I found quite difficult (my 4th baby). By that point I had got quite used to the idea of extended nursing and I felt grief about what I saw as a brief episode - but that was all he needed. Lucky me to have a longer term with my youngest child. Don't get me wrong - there have certainly been times when I thought "will this ever stop"!! The stage in a child's life when they need to breastfeed (for whatever reason) is really very short in their lifetime, even if it is measured in years. Feel proud that you are meeting a very real need for your baby at this time, and you don't need to justify that to anyone.

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