Happy Mothers Breastfed Babies
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 17

Thread: Shamed by sitter regarding solids

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    149

    Angry Shamed by sitter regarding solids

    This thread may be more about venting, but I need some support. I have been battling the sitter about ds eating since we started going at 4 mo. Today, however, was the straw that broke the camel's back. (We are going to a new sitter, but can't get in until August.) At 5.5 mos, she thought we were remiss in feeding him solids. I told him we were waiting until 6 mos. at least. Then when we started him on bananas, she thought we were nuts. Now, she tells me that at 8 mos. if he's not eating cereal with iron, he gets kicked off the food program. (Which is fine with me - I make all his food at home, or buy a few baby foods. I would just as soon he had the stuff I prepare, because I usually spend the four days we're home trying to "unstop him" from the three days she's fed him! Another reason no cereal!)

    Anyhoo, she told me (in front of others, mind you) and I QUOTE, "You are a crazy mother not to give him cereal with iron. In 20+ years of sitting, I have never heard of anyone not giving their child cereal. I think you are making a terrible mistake and that you need to reconsider."

    I, of course, left very angry. It is embarrassing to be reprimanded about food from a sitter that never even bf her own children. She doesn't think he eats enough, even now. I guess I'm not that 'into' feeding him solids. He's only 7.5 months old and could take or leave it. He enjoys eating when we all sit at the table, but there are days he doesn't have solids at all. Am I totally on the wrong path with solids? He weighs over 20 pounds, is 27.5 inches long and is, of course, amazing! lol! He's had bananas, avocados, sweet potatoes, pears, prunes, peaches, peas, carrots since he really started eating solids 1.5 mos ago. And he nurses round the clock.

    Any advice for a seething mother Am I on the wrong path with solids? From what I read it doesn't seem like it . . . help!

    Rox

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    1,220

    Default Re: Shamed by sitter regarding solids

    Good for you for switching. I am generally a quiet person but that type of criticism would have sent me through the roof and I probably would have gotten nasty. It sounds to me like you're doing just fine on the solids. That woman sure has a lot of nerve.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Not around here as much :(
    Posts
    12,132

    Default Re: Shamed by sitter regarding solids

    you could get the literature with the recent research and take it to her.. but io would get out of there too. Because you're not sure of the whole thing is why you felt embarrasement not because you're doing something wrong.(which is horrbile what she did/ not professional at all!)


    <nak>
    Click here to find an LLL leader near you...or call 1 877 4 LA LECHE for help now.

    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
    Emerson


    Ban the bags. ......... Watch your language. ....... Help keep Dr Newman's clinic open!

    We demand that our childcare providers are CPR certified... why don't we demand the same of ourselves! Get certified!

    I lost 22 lbs in 8 months... with a bit of determination and common sense information from this book.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    627

    Default Re: Shamed by sitter regarding solids

    I wouldn't wait until August to switch sitters. You need to find an interim. The daycare provider is meant to be an extension of the parental relationship with the child. If what she is doing is not supporting your relationship with your child, you need to find a sitter who will. It is not her job to tell you how to raise your child. It is her job to support you in the decisions that you have made. You shouldn't be spending weekends undoing your sitter's work.
    And, if she has issues with what you are doing, she needs to discuss them with you in private. It is totally unprofessional to "scold" you in front of others.

    I'm sorry you're going through this.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    8,272

    Default Re: Shamed by sitter regarding solids

    From what I've read, you're exactly on track and doing the right thing with solids!

    Our LO is 7.5 mo and has had less in the way of solids than your DS. So far our DS has played with avocado and banana (putting it in his mouth but not really eating much), a couple spoonfuls of rice cereal, and tonight grabbed at the apple DH was eating and gnawed on the apple for awhile. Our DS is interested in eating but when he tries food still gets that disturbed face so I'm letting him take his time with solids. For now I view solids as mostly play / experimentation and DS is getting almost all of his nutrition from BF (or EBM at day care).

    I'm glad you have another option for a sitter - but is there any way you can get in before August? In my opinion, any day care or sitter works for you and should be following your instructions about things like what and how to feed your child. You should be able to bring written instructions about what and how much your DS is eating and have confidence that your sitter is following your instructions.

    SO much has changed in the past 20+ years about how and when to introduce solids. You're the mom, you've done your research, and you know what is best for your DS. SHE should be the one who is embarassed for acting unprofessionally and making comments that are totally out of line (and incorrect) in front of others.

    One other thought - do you have the backing from your pediatrician about how you're doing solids/ If so - would it help to have a nore from the pedi to give to the sitter with instructions about your DS feeding?

    Hang in there!

    Lynn
    Lynn
    DS1: bf 7/2006 -> 4/2009; multiple food allergies
    DS2: bf 9/2009 -> ???
    ; multiple food allergies
    Breastmilk Donor - http://hmbana.org/index/donatemilk
    Click HERE to learn about baby led solids (BLS) / baby led weaning (BLW)

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    866

    Default Re: Shamed by sitter regarding solids

    You are absolutely on the right path. The first year of LO's life is all about BFing. Whatever solids are given are for new textures and for LO to "learn" about food, not for nutrition. The best thing as far as iron content goes is...you guessed it...breastmilk. The iron in BM is absorbes in much higher volumes than cereal with added nutrients. Cereal constipated my LO. After one week of that, I threw the box away, he has never had it since. Bananas were the first thing given after that. A great book to read is the baby book by Dr. William Sears. If you have it you could quote to her a lot of the things I am saying/typing.

    I personally would search for another babysitter that can start earlier than August. I had someone watch my LO while I went back to work, to quit mind you so it was only a three week thing. She was the same way with arguing my mothering when it came to bottles, bfeeding, sleeping, you name it. It was a friend of my mom's so this was hard to do, but I finally said "Look, I am the mother...I am paying you just like you would get paid at any job..therefore I am the boss...., respect my wishes and do what I ask" It was hard to do, but she listened.

    OK, I feel better now...lol...

    As I know it bothers you....I hate it when others think they have the right to do and say things like that....You do not have to stand for that! Kudos to you..stand up for yourself BIG
    Leslie- Momma to Aiden 02/28/06 AND Owen 2/28/08...What timing

    Older and wiser voices can always help you find the right path, if you are only willing to listen.--Jimmy Buffet


  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    289

    Default Re: Shamed by sitter regarding solids

    Your ds is only about 2 weeks older than mine and weighs a good 3 pounds more- so I think he's getting enough.

    I agree that you should find someone else in the interim. And I would remind the current babysitter that she is in your employ, which means that you make all decisions about how, what, and when your child is fed. I would make it very clear that you are not employing her to give your advice that should only be given by a physician. If I were feeling particularly nasty I would inform her of this in front of other parents. Let her deal with the fallout.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    149

    Default Re: Shamed by sitter regarding solids

    Thanks SO much you guys! This one sent me over the edge - I had to have a little cry-fest when I got home - I hate it when people blindsight you like that. I thought of all kinds of things to say THEN. Only last week she told me it was a "real problem" that he had to nurse to sleep. (You might have read my post about that one!!) And reading all your posts made me realize that it isn't his food or nursing or sleeping that makes me question myself - it's her! August (ds) is doing just fine and I never doubt what we've chosen to do until she makes one of her comments.

    I'm going to see what I can do in the meantime. I don't work in June or July (education) so I only have not quite 3 months left. Surely I can find someone that can fill in 3 days a week for 12 weeks. And I've ordered Dr. Sears books - think I'll run off copies from LLL books and Kellymom to bring to her, too.

    Again, thank you . . . it's nice to know it's not me. :-)

    Rox

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    4,029

    Default Re: Shamed by sitter regarding solids

    I agree with the PPs--that chick has a lot of nerve, questioning your parenting practices! Does she realize that SHE isn't the parent, that YOU are? WTH? It's not like you have a million different rules than someone else to follow. It's pretty simple.

    Yeah, anytime someone does that, I see red flags all over the place.

    Lisa

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    30

    Default Re: Shamed by sitter regarding solids

    I'd have told her 1 to butt out as she is just a babysitter and knows nothing of bf babies, and 2 that she has no business either telling a parent what to feed or not feed their baby and two that she has no business feeding your baby anything but what you give her permission to. end of duiscussion. as far as I know, a childcare provider can get in trouble for giving a baby anything other than what the parents gave permission to for allergy and health reasons. throw that back at her.

    My son is the same age as yours and he hates cereal-he won't eat it unless it is in a bottle, which I do on occasion for hsi iron levels, but feed him other iron rich foods, like green veggies. he eats other baby food, and likes those finger food puff thingies and thye have iron in them. he is 28 inches and 16 pounds and his doc told me he is growing steadily and perfectly fine, so I'm gonna assume at four pounds more, your son is getting enough nourishment.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •