What a great supportice husband you must be! I'm happy for your wife that she has someone like you and your mother to help.
I don't have any personal experience with the NICU, but I did want to second what epbrown said - the hospital is working for you, not the other way around. I know it's different in other countries, but in America, health care is a business. I think it helps to think of yourself as the client or customer who has a right to demand what he wants for his child. That's the American way!
Best wishes to you all.