So, last night I almost went nuts. I am horribly stuffed up and I just wanted to sleep and Emily wanted to spend the entire night attached to me. Ordinarily this would not be a big problem but in the last couple of days she has started this irritating habit of insisting that she is rubbing, squeezing, pinching, twisting my other nipple while she nurses. I can distract her when we're not in bed, not a problem, and I have methods for stopping this when we’re in the sack but last night she was on to me. I typically just roll over so that she has the "upper boob" for lack of a better explanation and the "lower boob" is tucked away. Then she can only mindlessly rub my arm and my rib cage, not nearly as irritating.
But last night she would have none of that. She was reaching under me, grabbing at my boob. All the while exhibiting another charming quality. Kicking me with her rubber bottomed pajama feet. So, now my boobs are killing me, my thighs feel like they have been rubbed raw by her stinking pajama feet, I am bitter and irritated because I can’t breathe AT ALL unless I am lying flat on my back, which I can not do since she wants to fling her head all around and at present my tits can only stretch about a foot away from my body (give me a few more months and she can sleep in her crib, me in the twin bed in her room and I can just lob a boob up and over the railing….) Oh, and when I tell her “No, Emily, stop pinching Mommy, that hurts Mommy.” She stops nursing, boob still in her mouth and smiles, clenching my nipple in her razor sharp little teeth. Big smile, pops off and says in her most concerned tone of voice, “Owww….” Nodding her head….
So, finally I figure to heck with her. And I roll on to my stomach, stretch my arm out and pat her sweet face, rub her back and tell her to go night-night. She settles down. For about a millisecond. And then she sits up and begins prying my eyelids open and giggling.
So, she is 18 months old and for the first time in her short little life I woke up dh and I said, “Take her. Take her downstairs, in the living room, to Costa Rica if you like, just take her away from me because she is trying my soul. And I am going to kill her. One of us is going to win this war and frankly I am bigger, meaner and evidently waaay more tired, than she.”
Of course, he just picked her up, laid her down in her crib, handed her her duck and said, “Go to sleep, baby girl, Mommy is so tired. And you need to go night-night.” And she did!! Just to spite me.
She is stubborn, and ornery and she likes to party late night. Where, where oh where did she get these qualities?
I feel better already. Thanks for “listening.” We’ve begun to night wean, she has started sleeping through the night so I think the idea of being in bed and awake last night was just so exciting she was pulling out all the stops. But so help me…. She’s gonna have me in a nut house.