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Thread: Need help with preparation for 2nd baby

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    Question Need help with preparation for 2nd baby

    Good Morning ladies!! I want to thank everyone in advance for reading my post and responding with any kind of help you can offer as I feel like I am lost in the woods on this one!!

    I am pregnant for my 2nd child, a little girl (Ada Grace) to be born on July 7th due to having a planned c-section. I tried to breastfeed my son unsuccessfully and have felt guilty since I stopped. Here's a little bit of history:

    My son was born at 39 weeks and was completely health at 7 pounds 3 oz. The hospital lactation consultant and I both noticed immediately that when he would try to latch on he would tuck his lower lip in, we assumed because he spent a lot of time sucking on his arm that way in utero and after birth. Any time I would take him off my breast to correct his lip, he would refuse to latch back on "correctly" as the lc said. I woke him every 2 hours to feed and did so for the first 3 weeks of his life. He was very lazy and would feed for maybe 5 minutes, then give up. (I have heard that this is more common with boys than girls). I was beginning to feel engorged so I bought my breast pump and tried pumping and got quite a bit for the first time--almost a full 4 oz bottle--and that was immediately after I had fed him for 15 minutes on each side. He was about 2 weeks old at the time. After that I never felt "full" again and he still didn't latch on any better than before. I called my pediatrician and they suggest that I give him formula which I didn't do. The following weekend, a full 7 days later, he was crying every 30 to 45 minutes to eat, but would not eat! He refused. I tried pumping to see how much he was getting and couldn't even get 1 1/2 oz after feeding him for only 5 minutes on 1 side. I broke down and bought formula at the insistance of both my family members and the pediatrician because of his insistence not to feed. (I have since changed pediatricians because I felt like they were not supportive of my decision to breastfeed, among other things.) My son is now a happy, healthy 21 month old bruiser who weighs in at 32 pounds, but I still feel guilty that I only breast fed for 3 weeks.

    I am almost to the point of desperation to make sure that breast feeding works this time. I have read quite a bit of material from LLL, talked to the nurse case manager at my insurance company, friends I have that were succesful, and now am on information overload--and to make matters worse, most of the information or "helpful hints" and advice I have gotten are conflicting w/each other! I am going to go to my first LLL meeting on April 13, but I just feel so overwhelmed and wondered if you ladies could give me some info to set my mind at ease at least a little bit before that meeting.

    Thanks in advance for your help!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    Default Re: Need help with preparation for 2nd baby

    Absolutely! And congrats on your newest addition!

    Do you have any particular questions in mind? Maybe some examples of conflicting advice? That would give me an idea of what you're looking for.

  3. #3
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    Feb 2006
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    Default Re: Need help with preparation for 2nd baby

    Jolie--Thanks. I have heard that because I had a "supply problem" last time to pump after each feeding once I'm home from the hospital to be sure my breasts are empty, but I've also been told that pumping can interfere if we don't have a "well-established nursing relationship."

    I've been told to nurse every 2-3 hours, even if it means waking the baby up, I've been told to let the baby sleep because she'll wake up when she's hungry, and I've been told that I should feed any time she starts getting fussy for the first few weeks because it could be a comfort/hunger issue.

    I've been told that quitting BF my son was the best thing I did, and I've been told that I gave up too easily and didn't seek help from the right people.

    I just don't even know where to begin really. I did buy a sling to use when she gets here because I was very embarrassed about BF in public w/DS. I am overweight and very large breasted so the thought of exposing my breasts and belly to the world wasn't all that attractive! I have bought a breast pump already too. We have a nursing mother's room where I work, so I bought the same kind of pump as is in that room so that it's the same when I come back to work at 12 weeks. I'm excited about my first LLL meeting, but I'm kind of overwhelmed too!

    Thansk again for your help!
    Krista
    Wife to Barney--No, He doesn't hang out with a guy named Fred, nor is he a purple dinosaur.
    Mom to Justin Reed
    Last edited by justin's mama; March 22nd, 2006 at 11:27 AM.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Need help with preparation for 2nd baby

    Quote Originally Posted by justin's mama
    I have heard that because I had a "supply problem" last time to pump after each feeding once I'm home from the hospital to be sure my breasts are empty, but I've also been told that pumping can interfere if we don't have a "well-established nursing relationship."
    In general, it is best to feed directly at the breast vs. pumping, especially in those early weeks. However, there are times that expressing milk (hand expression or pumping) would be helpful. One example is if for some reason baby is unable to feed (maybe you're separated). Another would be if baby isn't feeding effectively.

    That being said, there is no reason to pump after feeding UNLESS there is reason to believe that baby is nursing ineffectively. If you feel this is the case, then it's best to get help right away! Breastfeeding issues are best fixed early.
    http://www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBearlyweeks.html
    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/milkproduction.html (not LLL resource)

    Quote Originally Posted by justin's mama
    I've been told to nurse every 2-3 hours, even if it means waking the baby up, I've been told to let the baby sleep because she'll wake up when she's hungry, and I've been told that I should feed any time she starts getting fussy for the first few weeks because it could be a comfort/hunger issue.
    In the early newborn stage, yes, sleeping babies should be roused and offered the breast. Newborns can easily sleep through feedings, and it's best to wake them if they don't wake on their own, especially in the first several days. Once your baby is steadily gaining weight, you can allow your baby to sleep until she wakes on her own. And crying is a late hunger cue, so the last part of the "advice" is correct. Below is some info you might find helpful:
    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/start/bas...nger-cues.html (not LLL resource)

    Quote Originally Posted by justin's mama
    I've been told that quitting BF my son was the best thing I did, and I've been told that I gave up too easily and didn't seek help from the right people.
    From your earlier post, I can tell you that there were many factors that could have been in play. I don't think anyone can tell you if you gave up too easily (). Only YOU know what you were experiencing. (((hugs))))

    Quote Originally Posted by justin's mama
    I just don't even know where to begin really. I did buy a sling to use when she gets here because I was very embarrassed about BF in public w/DS. I am overweight and very large breasted so the thought of exposing my breasts and belly to the world wasn't all that attractive!
    Check out the nursing in public and babywearing forums. There are lots of moms who will have some good suggestions for you! You're not alone!

    Quote Originally Posted by justin's mama
    I have bought a breast pump already too. We have a nursing mother's room where I work, so I bought the same kind of pump as is in that room so that it's the same when I come back to work at 12 weeks.
    That's GREAT! Sounds like you're really getting prepared! There's a working forum here, too.

    Quote Originally Posted by justin's mama
    I'm excited about my first LLL meeting, but I'm kind of overwhelmed too!
    Wonderful! That sounds exciting! Here's some info about meetings:
    http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/LLL.html


    I hope this has helped a little bit. If you have more questions, do not hesitate to ask!

  5. #5
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    Feb 2006
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    Default Re: Need help with preparation for 2nd baby

    I think Jolie did an awesome job responding to the conflicting advice questions you have. I mostly want to chime in with encouragement and admiration.

    I have known many, many moms who struggled with breastfeeding the first time around, weaned earlier than they wanted to, but came to their second baby doubly determined to make breastfeeding work -- and they have succeeded! When breastfeeding isn't going well, it can be rather nightmarish, so I have huge admiration for moms who turn those painful memories into a positive learning experience and go on to breastfeed successfully with their next baby.

    Most moms who struggle with breastfeeding are falling victim to a lack of information (or patently false information) from the people they trust to guide them. Your pediatrician's office never should have diagnosed a "supply problem" over the phone, for starters. And even if low milk supply WAS a factor in your situation, there are breastfeeding-friendly ways of working through that problem, which an IBCLC or a LLL Leader can guide a mom through.

    The most important thing you can do to prepare to breastfeed your next baby is to connect now with reliable sources of information and support. You've already found the LLL website and will start attending meetings, so that's an awesome beginning!

    Keep reading and posting your questions and concerns; we're rooting for you!

    --Rebecca

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: Need help with preparation for 2nd baby

    LLL_Jolie gave you some good advice. I just wanted to agree line up some help.
    A lll leader or lc so that if you do run into some trouble you can get it corrected right away. Don't wait if your gut tells you that something is wrong.
    things are easier to fix if you get help right away.
    read read read..the lll web site has wonderfull list of great articles and information. Some doctors/nurses are just not upto date on the current info about breastfeeding and babies.
    do you have the womanly art of breastfeeding book thats a good start.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: Need help with preparation for 2nd baby

    Well, the first thing to remember is that pumping is NEVER a good indicator of supply. Ever. I know of moms who can't even pump an ounce who successfully breastfed their babies for two or more years.

  8. #8
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    Feb 2006
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    Default Re: Need help with preparation for 2nd baby

    Thank you everyone, SO much for your help. I really appreciate all of your support and information. I do have "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" and read it, or should I say skimmed it, when I was pg for DS but I definitely need to re-read it.

    Andrea--where in Ohio do you Live? I grew up in Columbus and went to College in Dayton at Wright State.

    Quakerm0mma--where in NC are you? I live in Raleigh now and work in Durham.

    Thanks again ladies!! I'm going to be doing a bunch of reading in the next 3 months or so to try and get ready! I'm so excited to meet Ada Grace and hold her for the first time!

    Krista
    DH Barney
    DS Justin (6-19-04)

  9. #9
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    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: Need help with preparation for 2nd baby

    we are between arkon and mandsfield.. tiny town nobody has ever heard of..lol Orrville.
    anyways read read read! that's the best thing to do
    are you going to take some kind of child birth class?
    when my oldest was born we did a lamaze class that helped alot but I still had an epidural. With my William we did the lamaze again (diffent dad ect..)
    that was helpfull and I did get a natural birth with no meds at all. They wanted to give me a shot to give me the few stiches that I needed and I refused and just told them to hurry up.
    My phillip I needed a few doses of painkillers, but all it did was make me high.it didn't help with the pain untill the nurse knocked me out.. stupid.
    I think if I could have got up and walked it would have gone beter.
    My 4th was born c-section after I started to bleed, very scary, lots of blood but she was alive and I was too so there was a good outcome.
    I know somebody that teaches bradley childbirth and that seams to be the in thing right now. I don't know what I would do I've we get pg again, the hospital that is close doesn't do vbacs and I realy don't want to have surgury again. let us know if you need anything else

  10. #10
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    Feb 2006
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    232

    Default Re: Need help with preparation for 2nd baby

    Andrea--I have to have a repeat c-section. I was induced at 39 weeks with my son, Justin because my placenta was failing. I had so little fluid that his heart rate was dropping because he was rolling over on his cord--I was doing really well and had had no medication at all for pain until 5:30 the next day (18 1/2 hours into labor, 13 hours of pit and I had been at 5 cm for over 5 hours.) I finally asked for the epidural and then his HR dropped to 60, and at one point, the nurse told me they had lost his heart beat. June 18th and 19th of 2004 were easily the 2 scariest days of my life! AFter I got my epidural, they started the pit back up again and his HR dropped w/every contraction, and I was still at 5 cm. I had a c-section and he was born at 9:35 that night.

    My doc said that with all of the problems I had delivering, I have to start going in 2x/week at 33 weeks for monitoring and appts. They are scheduling a c-section for me at 38 1/2 weeks. I'm afraid of VBAC's and my doc said that when he did my section last time, he looked at my pelvis and not only is it very small--there was absolutely no give. My son was fairly small, at 7 pounds 3 oz and I couldn't deliver him so they will not allow me to try a VBAC, which quite honestly, is fine with me.

    Thanks for the advice though! I'm not going to go through another child birth class because of having the scheduled C--last time, the instructor made me feel like a failure because my body wouldn't do it naturally.

    Anyway--thanks again!
    Krista

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