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Thread: when does it get better?

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    1,273

    Default Re: when does it get better?

    Quote Originally Posted by danlynclark View Post
    As far as feeling normal? Around 4 weeks I stopped feeling so hopeless and lost and I didn't "fear" the nights. At 6 weeks I actually felt like I could handle it, and accepted the lack of sleep.

    Lyn
    I couldn't have said any better than this. I also used to "fear" the nights.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: when does it get better?

    Thanks everyone for sharing and your words on encouragement. It really helps a lot to read these posts. It help me feel more like a normal person. I'll keep you posted on how I'm doing. Please keep the experiences coming.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    214

    Default Re: when does it get better?

    Hey, newmoma2507. Hang in there! My DS is 9 wks. The first month is tough. It was so much harder than I expected. I too read books and talked to people, but somehow I just didn't get the message. For some reason I felt like noone was upfront about how incredibly hard it is the first few weeks. Remember to sleep and get as many hands to help you as possible, to rock the baby or hold the baby so you can get a break. It is really horrible to have sleep deprivation on top of the physical pain that includes recovering from delivery and the darn breast pain from BF. I, like PPs, feared the nights. One person told me this and I think it is very true. In the beginning you get no feedback from your baby. The baby feeds, poops, cries, sleeps. You just give and give. You don't feel like you are getting much back. You don't feel the baby knows you or that you matter. The baby can't make eye contact with you. All this makes bonding difficult and the pain difficult to bear. Around 4 wks I felt I was ok with BF, though not completely. Baby then developed colic and that was tough. At 6wks, he began to smile and make baby noises. Around 8wks, he started to smile more consistently. Every now and then when I am changing his diapers or fixing his hair or bundling him, I happen to look down and see this kiddo staring at me with a big smile on his face. He is cooing and we have a little "conversation" when he is alert and happy. Things are hard still but I'm seeing some positive feedback and realize what my efforts are for. You've come to the right place. This forum is a great place to vent, seek advice, and share experiences.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    2,726

    Default Re: when does it get better?

    The first 8 weeks of my baby's life felt utterly overwhelming. I was trying to juggle learning how to nurse, keeping the baby healthy, sleeping, waking up every two hours, and healing from a c-section! I was afraid that I was being a bad mother if I put her down while she slept to relax for a moment. I was terrified of the fact that it was my job to keep this little person alive! I cried at the drop of a hat daily. Finally, after about 8 weeks, it started getting easier. Feeding, sleeping, emotions, etc.

    It is very hard at first and it continues to test you, but it does get much easier. The worry, sadness and confusion will fade, and you will gain confidence in mothering and all it entails. You are doing a great job.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    29

    Default Re: when does it get better?

    It does get better. I was doing a similar routine of breastfeeding, pumping and supplementing and it was very draining. Eventually you`ll get into a routine, and begin to feel better about it all. For me, it wasn`t even just taking care of the babe that was so hard, it was all the "extras" (ie pumping, cleaning bottles, supplementing and trying to keep track of everything) that I was not prepared for. But hang in there, you`ll get through it!
    Rach and Sam

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    118

    Default Re: when does it get better?

    I think its funny that someone wrote that they 'feared' the nights, I used to too. I'd be so happy when 5 am came because I knew that the night was over, I'd even get out of bed just to make sure it was morning!!

    The first few weeks like everyone else has posted, are really really tough, everyone says 'trust me, it gets better!' and its true. As strange as it might sound, I miss those early days something about everything being so new and exciting, remembering how tiny my baby was, I love to look at pictures from the days, weeks, after he was born.

    Babies need to be nursed often, love to be close to you, and need love. I had to learn to really let go of my schedule and get into my LO's routine. Things started getting smoother once I found ways to keep him satisfied and happy

    It will all fall into place, Id say by 11/12 weeks we were well on our way


    A woman once told me to enjoy ALL of it, the rough too...
    because it really does go so fast
    It's nice to be needed by our little sweethearts

    ...all the best...

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    117

    Default Re: when does it get better?

    I think feeling normal and feeling better are two different things. My LO is three mos. old and I feel better but not normal. Nothing is the same and I don't think it will ever be. I was an absolute wreck during the early weeks...it was almost a nightmare and I kept wondering why on earth do women have babies if it's like this?! But what saved me was connecting to others in the same situation via online forums, support groups and LLL meetings. Even the doctors appts were a welcome opportunity for help. Stay connected to "the outside world".

    And of course those first smiles help you forget some of the negative things!

    I totally agree though that nothing could have ever prepared me for the experience. And the saying "You'll get used to less sleep" is true as much as I didn't want to hear it.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    83

    Default Re: when does it get better?

    I am also a new mom...my daughter is two weeks old today. I am so glad this post is here I was just wondering the same thing, "how on earth am I going to make it through this???" I am glad to hear that things will continue to get easier, we had probs with breastfeeding at first and then I felt like we were getting in to a good routine and now I feel like the routine is lost...hopefully we will both start to regulate in a few more weeks. I think jsut hearing that other people "fear the nights" and feel overwhelmed is helpful!

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