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Thread: when does it get better?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    6

    Default when does it get better?

    Nothing really prepares you for the challenges of motherhood! While I was pregnant, I read everything about pregnancy and giving birth, but what I really needed to read was something explaining how hard the first few weeks are. My son was 2.5 weeks early, and now he's 10 days old. I love him so much, but it's been difficult getting used to this new routine (no sleep and nursing all the time). Also, my son had some phototherapy for jaundice so while he was in the hospital, I pumped and supplemented with some formula. I'm still doing the same routine, so it's been difficult nursing, then pumping, and making sure there is formula ready also. My husband went back to work, so it's been hard being here by myself. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed, anxious, sad and I ask whether or not I'm going to make it through all this.

    However, today has been the first day, that I think my son and I are starting to get into feeding routine, so I'm starting to feel better. I'm hoping that things get better day by day. Just wanted to hear other people's experiences. When does it start to feel normal?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
    Posts
    17,465

    Default Re: when does it get better?

    Hi.
    Congratulations. The 1st 6-8weeks are generally the most intense. Your child is working very hard to regulate your milk supply and figure out how to deal with being hungry. Which he never experienced before.
    Let go of the idea of doing anything BUT feeding your child right now. If you get that done, feed yourself and change diapers when needed, you've accomplished all that you need to. If you can juggle a shower in there every 3rd day or so I'd think you a very talented new mother indeed!
    Also try not to get to caught up in anything resembling a schedule. The baby will essentially eat around the clock for the 1st6-8weeks. Every one to to 3 hours. Sleep when your baby sleeps. Even during the day. But rest assured, feedings as well as sleep will change every 6weeks or so for at least the 1st year.
    Welcome to Motherhood. Have visitors bring food. Tell you DH you'll clean on the weekend when he's there to help. Feed yourself. Feed your child. That's it. For now.

    Way too lazy for formula

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    128

    Default Re: when does it get better?

    I'd just like to echo what the pp said. The most important thing I learned was to sleep when the baby slept. I had a lot of trouble sleeping during the day time, and when my mother was here helping I felt like I needed to entertain.

    Anyway, it really does get better. Those first 6-8 weeks were the toughest on me and my husband as well.


  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: when does it get better?

    I agree that feeding yourself and your childare the two most important things. However, for me taking 10 min to take a shower daily really helped me to relax and feel like myself again. You feel better about yourself afterwards even if you just put on a clean pair of pjs!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    2,032

    Default Re: when does it get better?

    Congratulations on your LO!

    I totally agree with the pp's. The first weeks are the most challenging, but you do get through them. I basically didn't clean my house for a month (my SIL did it for me, thankfully, but if she hadn't, I wouldn't have cared). All I did was nurse the baby, play with the baby and sleep whenever I could. We did lots of take out!

    You're doing great so far! Hang in there, it will get better!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    51

    Default Re: when does it get better?

    Hey there new mama. welcome to the club. i'm in week six with my daughter and have been feeling adjusted for about a week. like in your case, my kid arrived weeks early catching me off guard and feeling unprepared. i've consulted other moms here often and found encouragement that got me throught some of the not-so-fun parts of those first 3 weeks. For me, those were the toughest weeks. By week four, I was starting to get the hang of nursing, some of our problems were resolving and I was adjusting to the sleep changes. I had a lot of in-house help from my mother and her husband and in all honesty only got to feeling "normal" once they left in week four.

    If you are feeling really low or "off" you might want to keep an eye out for some postpartum depression.

    Best wishes,
    Maggie

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    1,108

    Default Re: when does it get better?

    I also think it takes two months to get adjusted to everything. I must be the only person who found the first week the easiest - but I still had codine then! And my mother stayed for a week and helped. I had a horrible time with recovery & issues with stitches and on top of that nipple pain and rampant excema from the hormones. Weeks 2-4 were the worst. Once I was starting to heal, everything else started to get better too. My mother said that it really takes two months to get the hang of bf and that was true for us as well. By that time, we both more or less know how it all worked and things became a little more routine.

    You're probably in the hardest part right now. Try to rest as best you can and drink lots. Don't push yourself. You'll get through it and things will start to get easier. One day you'll look back and be really proud of yourself and all your hard work!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    1,987

    Default Re: when does it get better?

    Get as much sleep as you can. It really does help. I'd also give a LLL Leader or IBCLC a call for some support with the bfing. Maybe there's a less labor intensive way to do what's best for your lo at this point.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    9,280

    Default Re: when does it get better?

    Welcome Mama

    Its so true, the first 6 weeks are the most challenging. But I found that so hard to hear because I could barely make it through one day let alone 6 weeks! 6 weeks felt like forever! Just take it day by day.

    Is there any way your husband can prepare some fruit, sandwiches, etc in the morning or evening? That way you can keep eating during the day. I found that in those early days I did not take care of myself well enough.

    Is there anyone that can come by and help you out? Maybe someone to make lunch or dinner while you sleep with the baby?

    Is there a reason for the formula? Can you try nursing all day to avoid the formula? This will at least free up the time of prepping the bottles, formula, cleaning, etc. Trust your body.

    As far as feeling normal? Around 4 weeks I stopped feeling so hopeless and lost and I didn't "fear" the nights. At 6 weeks I actually felt like I could handle it, and accepted the lack of sleep. Now, at 10 weeks there are days I don't shower...my kitchen is full of dishes....but I'm satisfied with that! We spend most of the day nursing, playing, and sleeping. We use the weekends to clean and grocery shop,

    I promise you, it gets easier. I was in your place too, and it was so hard to believe it would improve. It does. Just take it day by day. I totally agree about wishing I knew how hard it was before I got into it. Come here when you need to vent or laugh or cry.

    Lyn

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    1,273

    Default Re: when does it get better?

    I had the baby blues pretty intensely for about four weeks and then they just magically disappeared. I had lots of help from my mother in law and four to five weeks was when I got used to being mommy and now, at three months, I feel like I've always known my son, like he's always been here.

    This is what they mean when they say "soul mates".

    Baby blues are extremely common and I had a little medication for them and they fade before you realize it. Talk to your OB and congratulations!

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